A/N: Woke up with over thirty plus emails from you lot. And that was just the first day. You have no idea how much I love you guys. You are all totallyawesome. And I hit over 300 followers too. I. can't. even. I'm so sorry for making you wait. Please read and review! Your feedback means the world to me!
If you are so inclined I'm on tumblr constantly. I don't really post anything about my fic because I doubt anyone who currently follows me on tumblr follows me for my writing. But hey, if we share similar interests, I will follow you back…
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Sebastian doesn't stay long in the hospital. Patients stay there on a priority basis and since there were no major injuries other than his concussion, which now monitored was okay, he was allowed to go. But Sebastian's pride is wounded so he slacks off his apprenticeship at Dalton and lazes around at home. His mom is at a book signing, somewhere, and his dad dropped by for one almost complete hour to see if he was okay, and he'd probably be reprimanded if they knew he wasn't taking full advantage of the program with Dalton but Sebastian doesn't really care right now. He wants out.
Not from the program. From life.
He just needs a break. From everything that he is feeling dammit. He's never let a boy have so much control about the way he feels before and he needs to get a serious grip on himself and reality.
So he tells Kurt to stop visiting him.
"And why exactly would I listen to you when you say that?" Kurt's hands instantly fly to his hips. He isn't impressed in the slightest.
"Because I'm tired of this," Sebastian answers, gesturing towards the much too big space between the two of them. "And I can't be around you anymore knowing you're with someone else. So it's best if you weren't here at all."
"You know what? You're really selfish, Sebastian! If I can't be in your life the way you want me to, then you don't want me in it at all. How is that fair? I thought we were going to at least try being friends. You were my mentor once, Bas. I looked up to you with-"
He falls silent, realizes what he was going to say… with all my heart, Kurt thinks to himself.
When Sebastian has nothing to add, it seems as if Kurt finally gets it. Or decides to give up. One of the two. He takes that as his cue to leave. He nods once and forces himself out but his legs feel like lead. He was your first love, his mind whispers him telling him to stay but his heart suggests that it's just better to run away instead even if he can't stop his legs from feeling so heavy.
It doesn't go unnoticed to Kurt that Sebastian doesn't stop him either.
It's an hour before school starts and Kurt and Blaine are at their usual table at the Lima Bean. Blaine is on his second cup of coffee, coincidentally full of beans himself, prattling on about something that happened over the weekend. But Kurt is too preoccupied and eventually Blaine has to bring himself to say something. It's not like he can ignore it anymore. Kurt's inattention is much too obvious.
"Kurt, forgive me if I sound rude here - but are you even listening to me at all?"
Kurt looks up at Blaine over his – almost cold – cup of mocha. "Yeah, sorry, you were saying?"
Blaine sighs, and then, being the adorable boy that he is, reaches for Kurt's hand. "How is he?" he asks quietly.
"Who?" Kurt says, but he's pretty sure he knows who Blaine is talking about.
"Sebastian," Blaine says slowly, but finds a tiny part of himself wishing against all odds that this isn't what is troubling Kurt.
Except that it is.
"I wouldn't have a clue," Kurt admits, squeezing Blaine's hand just a little, "He's refusing to talk to me."
Now mightn't be the time or the place but Blaine is filled with an overwhelming desire to just know. "Kurt, why do I get the feeling that you knew Sebastian before I even met him?"
Kurt takes a sip of his mocha. It is cold. There is effort on his part not to spit it out immediately but he drinks it anyway. "Because I did," he tells Blaine.
Blaine finds himself catching his breath at the revelation but doesn't know what to say. Kurt continues. "I'm sorry I never told you. It happened years before I met you, when I was still a freshman actually. I hadn't come out yet and Karofsky had just started harassing me and Sebastian seemed to be the only friend who really understood. He was there for me and I knew he was older than me but I looked up to him. Then he left. Our first – and consequentially last kiss was a goodbye at the airport and then disappeared completely out of my life… till just recently."
Blaine nods, feeling unsure of himself. There's one thing that he just has to know. "Do you still have feelings for him?"
"Don't be silly, Blaine, I'm dating you!"
When Blaine doesn't look reassured, Kurt tries harder. "Look, I had reason to believe that Sebastian still wanted me in his life. And I agreed for us to try and be friends again. But we're both not doing a very good job of that and I guess the result is that he won't even talk to me. Listen to me. I'm not leaving you, Blaine. I'm never saying goodbye to you."
Kurt stares at his coffee and decides that he would rather kiss Rachel Berry than finish his cup of ice cold mocha and decides to trash it. Both he and Blaine realize that it's time to head out to McKinley anyway, so Kurt leaves to start the car and Blaine heads over to the counter to pay their tab. They're regulars here and coffee is always waiting for them on arrival so he makes sure to include a nice little tip for their barista. As he pays the waitress, Blaine's mind and thoughts are increasingly distracted.
Did Kurt still have feelings for Sebastian?
It isn't till after Blaine walks out of the Bean that he realizes Kurt never actually answered his question.
It's been almost five days and after no contact with Kurt, or the world at all, Sebastian comes up with a plan that will stop him from going completely crazy. And of course his plan had nothing to do with Celine yelling at him in French. ("You're a grown adult! Stop acting like a teenager!") Of course not. He's decided on his own that he's going to quit moping around and go out and… have some fun.
What he doesn't expect is the stranger at the door who is waiting for him as he's about to leave.
"You?" Sebastian asks stunned, "What are you doing here? How did you even find my house?"
"Nice to see you too," the guy says with a grin. "I followed you home that night after Scandals because I was worried that you weren't going to make it to your front door. Turned around as soon as I saw you get out of the car with Kurt. Bet he's not going to be here tonight, is he?"
Sebastian rolls his eyes, "Look, I didn't need you to look out for me. And I definitely do not need your help now. Just leave me alone."
Didn't look like this guy was in a rush to do that. "Well you look here yourself, Smythe. You told me the first night I shouted you a beer that Kurt wouldn't be happy unless he was with you. But do you know what I think it is? I think it's you who won't be happy unless you're with Kurt. So quit being so defensive and hear me out."
Sebastian sighed. He really needs a drink. "What do you want?"
"I wanna come out with you tonight. I know you're going out to let loose but I have a feeling that you're going to end up slumped over the bar with a drink in your hand. Let me be your wingman so you won't have to worry about shit like that happening."
Sebastian gave him a calculated look. "And what do you get out of it?"
"Well, hanging out with you, I might be able to score a couple of guys myself. Or at least if you could teach me."
Sebastian contemplates everything the boy's just said. Then he shrugs. "Fine. You can tag along. But if you try to make a move on me, I swear I'll have your balls, Karofsky."
When Sebastian wakes the next morning his head his killing him. He's not usually such a lightweight so he must have drunk a lot for him to feel this worn down. His mouth tastes funny and when he takes a sip from the water bottle on the stand beside his bed, (his eyes are still closed because light equals NO), it still tastes like alcohol.
He doesn't really remember much from last night. He knows that Karofsky was his wingman for the beginning part of it but he has no idea how he got home.
When an arm reaches across to hug at Sebastian's bare chest he lets out a groan.
Oh no. What the fuck did I do?
He finally opens his eyes. There's a boy in his bed. He's blonde and kinda cute and – naked – as naked as Sebastian himself is. He should be smiling that he scored last night. He should be happy that he got laid. He should even be more grateful that the stranger who is clinging too tightly to him in his sleep is not Karofsky. But Sebastian doesn't feel any of those things.
Because now that he's awake and his mind is slowly playing catch up, he feels not only like he's betrayed Kurt but that he's betrayed himself. He reaches for his cell. There's someone who he has to talk to. Someone who takes too long to pick up.
"Didn't Daddy ever tell you not it's not polite to call anyone this early in the morning?"
"Hello to you too Karofsky. And what are you talking about? It's eleven am."
Dave groans. "Precisely. But after the night we've just had eleven is actually five am. I got you your twink and you can't let me sleep? Or are you just one of those annoying demanding spoilt rich kids? What more do you want from me?"
"Geez you're grumpy when you're tired and hung over. Remind me to never accidentally sleep with you after you're drunk. Well to start, do you happen to know the name of this kid who's in my bed?"
"Sorry no clue. See if he has his wallet on him – that might give you some indication if he's got ID. Won't work if it's fake though." A small pause and then, "Now is there anything else I can help you with Princess because like I said it's five am."
"I just have one more question… Am I supposed to feel something from last night, Dave?" It's probably the first time Sebastian's used his first name. "Help me to feel something because I don't feel anything. And I don't know why."
There is another pause, a much longer one. For a second, Sebastian thinks Karofsky's fallen asleep. He's about to yell Dave's name really loudly into the phone – not even afraid that it would wake his boy toy up, because he's clearly completely still out of it – when Dave finally speaks.
"Maybe not yet. But keep him around. Who knows, Kurt might be the jealous type. If he is, you will no doubt be feeling something soon."
"Oh yeah? And what's that?"
Dave's advice seems to be running on empty now especially when Sebastian doesn't say anything. "You're welcome," Dave adds, keen to end the call. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Wait, Dave, what do you mean by success?"
"Overachiever like you should have no problem working it out. Goodnight Sebastian."
"No, please," Sebastian says; a fleeting urgency to his voice, "I don't have time to figure shit out. I need to know."
"Look," Karofsky says, sighing into the phone, "All I'm saying is that if Kurt is the jealous type and he sees you with this guy he might have more than a few words to say about it himself, y'know? Maybe even enough for him to be running back into your arms. It works on girls and God knows Kurt's effeminate enough for any man so it'll probably be a foolproof plan with him too."
The phone clicks and Dave's ended the call. Sebastian doesn't know if what any of Karofsky said is true but he'd be willing to find out. Also, if he can keep this façade up, he can go back to his normal ways, to the Sebastian he was before, to the Sebastian he was in Paris because then – no one will have to see him hurt over Kurt Hummel anymore – not that anyone knew Kurt was the reason that Sebastian was so depressed in the first place.
Coming back to reality, Sebastian eyes the male in front of him and runs his fingers through the boy's hair. He may as well set out about to find his name soon. Little does the boy know but he's about to get incredibly lucky because he's just scored himself the role of Sebastian's boyfriend.
And for the first time, in a long time, Sebastian finally smiles. He thinks he might take No Name here out on a date to the Lima Bean.
Because if Kurt and Blaine just happen to be there, it's going to be a coincidence right? The fact that they're regulars doesn't mean anything… nothing at all…
This is unbeta-ed and too early in the morning for me to proofread it thoroughly so please excuse any mistakes!