A/N Hey guys so this is a one shot that I've had in my head. I was reading some Beast Boy and Raven fan fictions, and it hit me how cute they REALLY are and they deserve tons more fan fiction. So here I am, just adding to the collection. This takes place when they're about nineteen and they live together. Oh and if you like Robin and Starfire, check out my multi chapter story Better Together. Thanks, and here it goes! *beware brief mention of self harm*

She looked into the mirror with disgust.

She was over the black look. She also hated having long hair, and she had no idea why she let it grow out to her lower back.

Letting go of the counter, she undid her cloak and let it drop to the floor. She turned on the shower, only getting in when it was the right level of scalding hot.

She watched as the temporary black dye washed down her back and down the shower drain. This was it. No turning back now.

After scrubbing her hair so hard that her scalp hurt, she gathered the courage to look down at the locks of her hair. She sighed. She hadn't seen the natural purple in so long, and the only reason she dyed it black was because she gave in to Starfire's constant begging and pleading. It brought back so many pleasant- and unpleasant- memories. Back when she lived with her best friends.

Finally she shut off the water and stepped out. Once again, she clasped the counter and stared into the mirror. The purple fell in her face as she noticed that she looked gray again.

"Raven?" a voice came from the other side of the door, making the girl jump from her concentration. It was Beast Boy.

"Yes?" She asked through gritted teeth. She briefly recalled she wasn't trusted to be alone in the bathroom- or any room- with the door locked.

"Are you okay?"

She thought for a minute. There was no point in lying to him. "Never have been, never will be."

Beast Boy tried to open the door, but when he found it was locked, he resulted to pounding on the outside. "Raven, what does that mean? You're scaring me again."

Raven looked back in the mirror. "I scare everyone."

Beast Boy became hysterical. "Raven….Raven, open this door! I can't lose you again!" His voice broke on the last word. Raven thought he was overreacting, even though she knew he wasn't. Not bothering to answer him, she sat on the floor and began to remember….


She had lost control.

It had been an overwhelming day and the things that villain said to her…..it cracked her. She snapped.

And she didn't realize it until she saw her friends scattered across the room.

Robin was starting to sit up, Cyborg was shoveling pieces of concrete off himself, and Beast Boy was running towards her.

Her and Robin noticed at the same time.

Starfire was in the corner, and she wasn't moving.

They both rushed towards her, and what they saw was almost too much to bare. Starfire was unconscious, with blood pouring down the right side of her face. Raven honestly thought she was dead. She thought of all the times she had been amused by the Tamaranean's bad English, and when the girl dyed her hair only a few days ago. She thought of their trips to the mall and how they wouldn't have them anymore and how she would deeply, honestly, miss them.

But she didn't say a word.

She barely heard Robin's frantic cry of "Cyborg, the infirmary, now!" and she moved slowly in the same direction Cyborg was running with Starfire over his shoulder.

She thoroughly believed she had just killed one of her best friends.

With the thoughts, overwhelming her, she passed out.


Later that night, Cyborg revealed that Starfire was alive, but in a coma-like state.

Raven had been pacing her room the whole night after Beast Boy had carried her to her bed.

She was dangerous. She could've killed them all. Happy spoke up in the back of her mind, but disappeared as quickly as she had come.

She had sworn to herself, she would not let her father win. But as long as she was alive, he was winning. She suspected his life source was her in some way.

She couldn't do it anymore. She was sick of hurting people. She knew what she had to do, if she wanted her friends to live safe, happy lives.

Raven didn't have to search for long before she found the scissors in her desk drawer. She was grateful they were still in there.

Sliding them under her cloak, she silently left her bedroom and started walking towards the bathroom. She thought over again what she had to do and wasn't paying attention to where she was walking, and promptly ran into Beast Boy.

To her utter horror, she fell on her back, revealing the scissors clenched in her hands.

Beast Boy started to apologize, then noticed what she was holding. He tried to grab her hand to get a closer look. She pulled away from him.

"What are you doing with those, Raven?"

No…no….she didn't want to be discovered. She thought her best bet was to act angry. "None of your business!" she snapped. Raven started to storm past him, towards the bathroom but he grabbed her arm, suddenly understanding. No! she thought to herself, I didn't want him to get it!

"Raven," he said cautiously, sounding very scared. "no."

Raven just stared at him wide-eyed before breaking away and sprinting towards the bathroom.

Beast Boy took off after her. "RAVEN NO!" He had almost made it, but she slammed the door in his face. He used all his strength to try to pound down the door. Unexpectedly, he began to cry.

Inside the bathroom, Raven thought she might as well get it over with. She took the scissors and dropped them on the counter for a moment. She looked at her reflection and began to scream her lungs off. Her screaming brought more banging on the door and crying from Beast Boy.

"Raven, no! Please Raven! I need you, we need you!"

"What you need is to be safe!" she yelled back hastily. She put the point of the scissors up to the gem on her forehead that was her life source, but before she could break the gem, she heard more pleading words, that were faint, almost inaudible. It was still Beast Boy.

"I love you."

She only stood there in shock, but then the scissors clattered to the floor, and Raven yanked open the door. She looked at him for a moment before collapsing into his arms, sobs shaking her body, and light bulbs exploding all over Titans Tower.

And he just held her.

*End Flashback*

She got up, realizing she still wasn't done with her hair. She had to cut it off.

Very carefully, as if she would lose control of her own hand, she took out the infamous scissors. No one knew she still had them, and she didn't know why she had them herself.

Shakily, she raised the scissors to her face and then…


The piece of hair fell to the ground.

Snip, snip, snip.

Within a few minutes, her hair was back to shoulder length. Just the way she liked it. Then, she remembered something very important. Beast Boy!

She opened the door to find him pacing and obviously worked up. She didn't blame him.

When he noticed her, he stopped in his tracks, taking in her redone hair.

"My Raven," he whispered with relief. She ran up and hugged him tight, wrapping her legs around him and burying her face into his neck.

A/N Hey guys, how'd you like it? Please review! It makes my sad sad life happier!

Love you all