YO! So how've you been lately my dear comrades? Haha. Finally had the guts to post something here after months and months of freaking out and thinking if what I write is ever good enough. Confidence seems to run low these days… Do we have like a freaking shortage of it in the world market or something? But I do hope you enjoy, ladies.

Disclaimer: If I ever claimed anything, Rockstar would fucking sue me.

Hint: Oh, and guys? Maybe if you sing a song while reading this, you'll be able to see a hint of slash for some tender-lovin'. I only serve to please…

And I must tell you that Pete's STRAIGHT here, ladies and gents. Honestly, I grew tired of reading Petey as the gay and awkward pubescent boy, so I decided to write and show how I think Petey will try to woo the opposite sex - or rather, his 'supposed' (but-damnit-I'm-not-a-girl) sex. But he'll still be the adorable little fuck that he is. There will also be an OC here who nobody cares about – made solely for Petey's purposes. ;p


Love Don't Come Easy, Dear Little Petey

Deep in the bowels of the proud learning institution of Bullworth, Pete Kowalski has finally gathered up enough courage to face this day. The day he never thought will ever come. The day he would find someone he genuinely liked, in terms of romance. A person whom he liked so much that it was able to snap him out of his cowardly misery and decide to stand up against fate to somehow attract her attention.

And now, facing the person who had been the apple of his eye for a ridiculous amount of time - much to Gary's disgusted pleasure and Jimmy's surprise - he never thought things could go more awry than how things were currently turning out; putting him in this insanely awkward and highly flustering situation. He wondered where he went wrong in his fifteen years of life to deserve having to live a life like this. And it bugged him to know that this was his own fault; that the biggest mistake he may have ever made in his entire lifetime, which caused things to go down the drain in a flash, was asking help from those two. Why did he even think that things could go much easier with them around?

"No, I'm serious! I want to be your guy!" Petey stomped his foot, giving emphasis to his seriousness. He was currently standing in the middle of the girl's room, where he bravely set foot and dared to trespass in. Just God forbid that they get caught red-handed in here. He heard from Jimmy that the dorm's 'hall monitor' was as 'stuck-up as a hundred year old spinster-virgin'.

"Huh? I don't even know what that means but, uhh - thanks, I guess," The girl raised a brow as she cocked her head to the side; unsure whether this man before her is to be trusted or just clinically insane.

"What she means is – she wants to be your boyfriend. Little Petey here is just too much of a pathetic little sissy to say it normally, like other big girls do," Gary drawled, stretching out his arms like he was already getting bored of watching Petey fumble for the right words to say.

He made it his chief priority, aside from planning to burn the whole school to the ground, to humiliate Petey as much as he can – or whenever a chance comes up. And this is one of those perfect opportunities to do just that. He could already taste femme boy's girly tears. "That was just a translation of femme-boy speak, would you like me to lend you the whole dictionary to understand him?"

"Shut up, Gary," Petey spat. He gave him a piercing look (which totally did NOT look like one) and glanced at Jimmy, silently begging him to shut HIS man-whore up.

Jimmy sighed and said, "Alright. Enough, Gary. As much as I'd like to agree with you –" Petey glared at him, "– I can't. Petey's my 'best' friend and all, and I'm supposed to defend his honor or something, as he keeps on telling me, in times like this…"

Petey rolled his eyes, having lost all hope that anyone can save him from this embarrassment. He covered his face with his hands, wishing the earth would swallow him right then and there to somehow retain what's still left of his dignity. If he ever had one in the first place.

Jimmy turned to the girl and continued, "... But Pete really does have feelings for you, and he sure is serious about it. 'Cause if he wasn't, he wouldn't go blabbering nonsense and blush non-stop while biting his lip like a love-struck schoolgirl declaring his never-ending love for you for nothing." He finished, looking like a constipated monkey right then, as he prevented himself from bursting out into fits of laughter.

Petey facepalmed himself and glared at him. The girl, who was still pretty much confused of what's happening around her and who they were, couldn't resist the craziness around her and simply bit her inner lip to stop herself from breaking out into a grin.

Gary, however, let out a very loud and terrifying (yes, terrifying) shriek as soon as Jimmy finished his speech, and succumbed into a series of maniacal laughter. He bent over, his whole body shaking with each chuckle as he clutched at his stomach from the great happiness he was feeling.

As soon as Jimmy heard the boy laughing his snot out, he wasn't able to stop himself and soon followed. Holding his stomach, he gasped and laughed like he was undergoing a happiness-induced seizure.

Petey shook his head and groaned as his two friends continued to make fun of his one opportunity to finally get himself a girl. (AT LEAST, IT'S A GIRL... Not like them...)

Ahh, Love. Why must you be so cruel to me?

"That was CLASSIC, James!" Gary gasped between laughs. "You – you surprisingly CRACKED me up!" He bent over and supported himself on his knees, still sniggering uncontrollably.

That wasn't the only time he 'CRACKED' you up - And I don't mean that in the 'happy' sense of the word... Petey thought, twisting his nose in disgust.

The jerks enjoyed another gruelling minute of chaotic laughter before they eventually stopped. The girl was still watching the three of them; her brow still raised and thinking whether these three are dangerous escapees of Happy Volts.

As they regained their normal breathing, Jimmy saw Petey glaring a hole through his head, bringing him back to what's currently at hand, and quickly explained himself. He put his hands up as a means of peace and shot Petey a foolish grin. "Okay, okay. Sorry Pete, I didn't mean to say that. I got a little carried away... Heh."

"A LITTLE?" Petey winced. He looked at him like his mother on her period. Jimmy shivered at the thought.

"Hey, hey. No need to blow up a fuse, girly. We're just having fun," Gary intercepted, putting his arm around Jimmy as he smirked towards Petey.

I guess he's defending Jimmy in some indirect, asshole-ish way... Petey thought. That would be kind of sweet, if he wasn't such a jerky jackass.

"Well, I didn't invite you two here to accompany me for FUN," Petey surprisingly snapped. "I'm really serious about this girl, and if you're here to ruin my chances of getting her to like me back, then get the FUCK out..." He nodded his head towards the door, trying hard to keep his body steady and avoid wimping out like most times.

Jimmy and Gary blinked.

"Whoa. Did you hear that, Jimmy? Our little Petey finally grew himself a pair of balls! HAH! Proud of you, Pete! We. Truly. Are..." Gary smirked and clapped Petey on the shoulder, making him lose his footing. Before he stopped his face from colliding with the floor though, he noticed the lingering malevolence behind that ever-present smirk. "Now, that you're all self-important on the day you finally hit puberty - and thank God for that - we'll leave you two lovebirds alone for now," he smiled deviously and got ready to leave, grabbing Jimmy's hand and pulling him to the door.

"Good luck with the girl, Pete. Tell us how it goes." Jimmy winked as he gave Petey one last glance, before being pulled away by Gary.

"Didn't know you were into gossip, James. Geez," he teased, his arm somehow back around Jimmy's shoulders. "Not to worry, my friend. Petey will tell us every little detail, whether we want to hear it or not," he assured with a sly smirk.

Petey watched their backs as they exited the room. He let out a long and heavy sigh of relief as the door closed slowly, leaving the two of them alone. He breathed in deeply, and turned to face... her.

Finally... Petey smiled.

Here he goes. Wish him luck. He just hoped all goes well as he went towards the crazy-stricken girl, so he can tell his friends about the greatest and/or worst moment that's about to happen in his life.

He then stopped midway when a loud and deep, mocking voice suddenly broke the silence and his loosely gathered concentration...

"GO LITTLE PETEEEEEEY!" The voice shrieked. Petey and the girl's head snapped immediately to the source of the ruckus, and saw Gary frickin' Smith pumping his fist up, frantically, from outside the middle window of the room – with a furious Jimmy Hopkins trying to wrestle him down.

Petey's eye twitched rapidly. I guess I have a LOT of work to do before she can like me back... How great.


IS THIS THE END? OH NOEEEES! "SUPER SHORT, FUCKING ONESHOT. WE HATE YOU, UNKNOWN AUTHOR!" I know, I know. I'm really sorry, guys, but that's all for now. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this very short crap I was able to produce. Lol.

REVIEW, FEEDBACKS, or VIOLENT REACTIONS are accepted. And maybe if I have enough reviews, I'll be able to post more. (Yeah, what a sick way to get reviews, right? But if you really liked it, who would stop you from sending one? I'd be happy to know your thoughts. *puppy eyes*) SO YEAH! 'Til next time, darlings! :D

And if you want me to give the OC a name, tell me. I'll see to it. :)