My sister and I have become pretty obsessed with the Pirates! series, mainly the movie but now we're getting into the books too. So we decided to do a roleplay thing where we took turns writing a story about these guys. This resulted. I probably couldn't tell you which of us wrote which. This is coming to you live, with fresh, raw, unedited content, piping hot straight from the oven. So yeah enjoy. (Also, this contains light Pirate Captain/the Pirate with a Scarf, in case that's a thing you're actively trying to avoid.)

Polly sat on her perch in the Captain's quarters, little dodo eyes fluttering gently in her dodo sleep. Pirate Captain hated having to wake her in the morning. She always looked so darn peaceful. He stalled as long as he possibly could (pretty much everyone else was awake by now...), slowly putting on his coat and hat, excruciatingly slowly lacing his boots and combing his mustache and luxuriant beard. Still, Polly was asleep. So he just picked her up and nestled her in his beard and crashed through the door to the deck.

"Good afternoon, gents!" he shouted to his loyal crew, all of which were playing shuffleboard on the nicely swabbed poopdeck. They gave a hardy ringing of welcome back to him.

"I take it Polly didn't wake up yet?" asked Pirate with a Scarf, as cunning as ever. Actually, he wasn't really too cunning, since this happened quite often. Also Polly was snoring inside the Captain's beard.

"Cunning as ever, Number Two!" Pirate Captain said adoringly, slapping a hand to the other pirate's back. "Yes, she's still fast asleep, poor little baby." He peered into his own beard. "Lookitchoo, wittle diddly dodo, so adorable! You just keep on westing, yes, you west yo' widdle dodo eyes~ Oh no no! No no, don't get up! No no no! Aww, I'll shut out the sun, there's a girl," he cooed to his precious Polly, finally shutting his curly beard and beaming at Pirate with a Scarf. Pirate with a Scarf blinked in response. He thought to himself what it would be like inside the Pirate Captain's beard. Must be warm, he surmised.

"So, my darlings," said Pirate Captain, using a name for his crew that he used frequently in the book though not in the movie, making the use of 'darlings' not too weird, "Has anyone spotted any adventure around lately?"

"Not yet, Captain," said the Pirate with Gout.

"I spotted a dolphin!" said the Albino Pirate. He giggled. "It waved at me."

"I'm afraid the sky has been clear and the waters calm thus far, Captain, sir," said the Pirate with a Scarf. "But adventure is undoubtedly just beyond the horizon."

"Awfully poetic today, aren't we, Number Two," said Pirate Captain as he gave his right-hand man a playful nudge on the shoulder. "But you're right, of course. Adventure may not be in our sights, but it is certainly in front of our eyes! a... directional manner. We can't see it yet." He cleared his throat. "Anyhow, I'd say for now we should set our course due North, and see where it takes us."

"Aye-aye, Captain!" shouted the crew unanimously. In a way that seemed nearly choreographed, as though some modern rock song was playing along with their movements, they got to work steering the boat.

"So Captain, planning to let Polly sleep all day?" asked the Pirate with a Scarf.

"Oh, just until she wakes up," said the Pirate Captain. He gave the snoozing spot of his beard a loving and gentle pat. "She'll probably only be another hour or two. She needs her rest."

His beard shifted about as she turned. "Oh-ho, look at that! Alright, this has gone far enough, I can't afford to be distracted by little Polly when there is adventure to be" Polly cooed in her sleep. "Oh my goodness gracious! What an angel! ...I - I mean, adventure, I say!"

"Captain," said Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate, who looked at him with a soft gleam in his eyes. "I was thinkin' we might try and rob a few mermaids today. That is, if ye don't mind travelin' underwater." Pirate Captain put his hands on his hips, thinking it over. They hadn't seen mermaids for awhile... And he did love to swim...

"Well, okie dokie, Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate. Let's find some mermaids, shall we?" With a dramatic leap, he landed in front of the large wooden round thing with lots of wonky pegs coming off of it. The uh. The thing that steers the boat. That thing. He landed in front of that thing and laughed heroically, whipping it to the left and sending his crew sliding along the deck with the gravity of the situation. "Mermaid cove, straight ahead!" he announced, letting the boat on auto-pilot by means of raising the sails. Pirate with a Scarf then gathered the rest of the crew in a circle around him.

"Now then, lads, let me tell you a story on our way to adventure." Pirate Captain poked Polly awake, for she loved Pirate with a Scarf's stories and would forgive the Pirate Captain for doing so. They both got the best seat in the house - the middle seat next to Albino Pirate and Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate. They always had snacks to give him and Polly. Pirate with a Scarf looked impatiently at the writer, waiting for her to be quiet with all the non-dialogue and let him speak. She promised that at the end of this sentence he'd be allowed to continue. "As I was saying, a story. Once upon a time, there was a load of pirates in a boat."

"Wow... That directly applies to our situation!" whispered Albino Pirate to Polly.

"These pirates in a boat all had magical powers. They could float whenever they wished, they could produce ham from glasses of seawater, and they could even be run through without any real damage." The crew mumbled to each other excitedly.

"But other pirates were jealous of them, because the other pirates didn't have the special powers that the magical pirates did. So jealous, in fact," the Pirate with a Scarf glanced the Pirate Captain's way, "That the magical pirates were treated very badly, and talked down to. Even their captain, the finest pirate of all seven seas, was treated as though he were second-rate."

The Pirate Captain sniffled, his eyes suddenly rimmed with tears. "That's right. They're all just jealous."

"But these magical pirates knew how much better they were. They didn't let it get them down," the Pirate with a Scarf went on. "And so they set out on an adventure, to prove it!"

As the crew cheered, the waters among the boat were churning. Down below, a mermaid's ears had pricked at the sound of the Pirate with a Scarf's gentle, charming voice, and now a crowd of them tread amongst the ship's sides, listening intently.

"A fine adventure it would be. They could already tell just by the passion in their hearts," he said, unaware of his increasing audience. "They set out for a hidden isle, a place of legend said to have a center of gold. A land littered with x's, where the finest pirates of past ages had buried their greatest treasures."

The pirates gave a pleased murmur. No pirate story was complete without fantastic treasure.

Somewhere down in the waves, there was a happy chitter. Mermaids enjoyed treasure themselves from time to time.

"All this treasure would become theirs. It wasn't long before they found their way, their magic powers guiding them to the gold of ancients," said the Pirate with a Scarf. "But when they got there, they found the place was guarded by... by..."

He trailed off, and for a moment the crew felt awkward, thinking that the Pirate with a Scarf had simply ran out of ideas and needed to think. But his eyes looked oddly dazed, and now that he had quieted they could hear a faint singing over the side of the boat.

"Oh, that's lovely," the Pirate with a Scarf murmured blankly. The singing grew louder, and he tottered a few steps towards the edge of the ship.

The Pirate in Green, a pirate not seen in the film but quite present in the books, peered over the side of the boat. "Mermaids, Captain! Doing their death ditty thing!"

"Those half-naked scoundrels!" cried the Pirate Captain, leaping to his feet. "Their bosoms distract me so that I tend to forget the whole 'leading sailors to their death' thing. Someone grab Number Two before he does anything silly!"

The Pirate with Gout tried to grab him, but moved too slowly with his bad leg to stop him from slipping away. The Pirate with a Scarf continued to totter towards the edge of the ship, and really more pirates should have been making a move to stop him.

The Pirate Captain rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You lot are useless sometimes... I'LL grab him then!" But just as he made a move to do so, he saw the Pirate with a Scarf jumping onto the wooden rail and stepping right off the edge into the water.

"NUMBER TWO!" Pirate Captain ran in the hopes of grabbing him, but the Pirate with a Scarf was already too far down. He watched as there was a humongous splash, and then a flap of fin as the mermaids swam off with their prize.

"Those curvaceous fiends!" the Pirate Captain cried. He ripped off his pirate coat and flung aside his hat and boots. Several of the pirates 'oohed' and gasped excitedly. The Pirate Captain's rescues were always quite dramatic and charismatic. "I'll show them to try and drown my first mate! And right in the middle of one of his stories!"

He made to leap, but then he had another thought and paused to remove some more jewelrey and his socks.

Meanwhile in the water, the Pirate with a Scarf was being given mouth-to-mouth in oddly intimate ways reminiscent of a future film about Peter Pan grown up. He probably would've felt rather flustered about it if he wasn't still in a daze from all the magic singing.

Mermaids swim quickly, and it wasn't long before he was taken ashore and laid upon a cool rock in the mermaids' cove. One mermaid gave him mouth-to-mouth again as another sang their song backwards to snap him out of it.

At last he gasped for breath on his own, and his eyes came back into focus. "Where? What? Who?"

Scantily-clad mermaids gathered all around him, looking at him like he'd come out of their dreams. "Please continue the story," one said to him, "Please?"

The Pirate with a Scarf swallowed heavily and wished he was back on the boat.

"Almost got it," said the Pirate Captain, who was having some trouble with the garters on his socks. "I'll be able to rescue him any minute now."

"We're nearing shore now, Captain," said the Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate. "I saw them swim this way, so I don't think you need to do any diving now."

"...oh. Well. All right then." The Pirate Captain replaced his garters and grabbed his hat. "Could someone hand me my boots?"

Albino Pirate removed one boot from Polly's nose and the other from his nose, handing them both to the Pirate Captain half-heartedly. "We were pretending to be elephants..."

The boat came ashore and the Pirate in Green anchored them. About 500 meters away sat the Pirate with a Scarf, who was surrounded by beautiful mermaids.

"L-Ladies, I really do wish to continue with my story," he began, glancing about at them all sheepishly, "but I - I can't do it without Polly. She, um, she's like my lucky charm, without her, my stories - well, they just aren't very good." He nodded to himself, focusing his eyes anywhere but their mermaid boobies.

"Oh, but Scarfy," one with dazzling sapphire eyes said, "Polly's such a foul name. I'm sure it matches her foul personality. You don't need her." Another mermaid crawled forward admittedly creepily.

"Why would you wait for a girl like Polly when you have beauties like us?" This crawly mermaid smiled, her eyeteeth uncommonly sharp. Pirate with a Scarf managed to chuckle at their mistake.

"No, no, girls, Polly is a bird! She's not a real woman. I'm not romantically involved with her."

The mermaids looked suddenly savage.

"So you only take 'real women,' is that it, Scarf-boy?" snarled Mermaid with Sapphire Eyes.

"None of us half-breeds, is that what you're saying?" growled Mermaid with Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth. Pirate with a Scarf's eyes widened in fear, and he backed against the cove, leaving all of the mermaids to crawl forward slowly, their fishy scales scraping against the cool black rock in a chorus of doom.

While all of this mermaid-induced terror was happening, the rest of the crew was throwing themselves off of the boat, some tumbling gracefully down like that girl wolf in Alpha and Omega, others flying off of ropes like George of the Jungle, and still others just falling down unceremoniously, like Wile E. Coyote. The Pirate Captain was doing the first of these descriptions.

"Hurry, crew! Hurry! We might have time to hear the end of the story!" the Pirate Captain called over his shoulder as he ran towards Mermaid Cove. Albino Pirate was at his side, running on all fours with Polly bouncing on Albino's back. The Pirate with Gout had decided to miss the antics, as his foot would keep him from getting anywhere fast. He sniffled to himself and made a sad-looking sandcastle.

Pirate with a Scarf had reached the back of the cove, where the little light was reflecting off of the mermaids eyes and off of his - sword! He drew his forgotten sword and swung it at them. The mermaids flopped their colorful tails angrily.

"Alright, you mermaids... You know this blade can kill you. But I'm willing to strike a bargain." A mermaid with long purple hair swiped her painted nails at him. "Please calm yourself. My bargain is this: if you let me out of here, I'll rejoin my shipmates and finish my story. I'll let you lot listen as long as you don't touch any of us or the boat."

The Mermaid with Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth grumbled. "What if we can't hear you?"

"I'll shout. Any other questions?" The Mermaid with Purple Hair raised her hand. "Yes, you in the front?"

"Will you put mermaids in the story?" she pouted. At this, Pirate with a Scarf smiled.

"If you hadn't mannapped me, you would have already known this..." he said in a somewhat singsong voice. The mermaids giggled to each other at the Mermaid with Purple Hair's embarrassment. Then they all nodded in agreement to his bargain and let him through.

"Number Two!" Pirate Captain shouted as his first mate exited the cove, mermaids jumping into the surf behind him. "Did they hurt you?" He spun Pirate with a Scarf around, searching him for any scratches or signs of bleeding. Pirate with a Scarf smiled warmly.

"No, Captain, everything's fine. Let's go back to the boat, shall we? Ladies?" He had directed his attention to the mermaids, who yodeled in encouragement and made their way to the boat by sea. Pirate with a Scarf patted the Captain on the shoulder. "They'll be joining us for the rest of the story, by the way."

"Joining us? Ha! As though I'd let those voluptuous beasts anywhere near you after that!" said Pirate Captain, putting his arm over Pirate with a Scarf's shoulders. "No, we'll be continuing on our adventure, far away from these creepy mermaids."

"Uh, Captain, sir, I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Nonsense. Keeping you safe is my number one priority." Pirate Captain gave his first mate a warm smile, and the Pirate with a Scarf felt his cheeks grow oddly hot. Both conveniently forgot that the Pirate Captain hadn't even jumped in the water after him. "Now let's get back on the boat and get a good distance away. Then you can finish your story once we know they won't hear you anymore."

"Ah... well, all right..." Pirate with a Scarf normally would have protested more, but his head was feeling a little fuzzy. He was having trouble biting back a silly, flustered smile.

"All hands back on deck!" the Pirate Captain shouted. "Set a course for the south! Full speed!"

The crew rushed to comply. The mermaids giggled in the water as the crew rushed about, not realizing what was going on. But once the ship began backing up, they started getting an idea. Once it was disappearing on the horizon, they fully understood.

The Mermaid With Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth snarled. "So it's that way, is it."

After telling the crew just what the evil mermaids had done to him (with a few extra parts added in for good measure), Pirate with a Scarf had finished his story - a rousing tale that ended in victory for the magical pirates. Everyone cheered in a standing ovation.

"That was your best yarn ever," the Pirate with Gout said, swinging an impressed fist.

"I'm so happy the pirates got all that treasure!" Albino Pirate supplied with a little jump in the air.

The Pirate Who Likes Kittens and Sunsets wiped a tear from his eye. "Maybe the story is true! Maybe that island of treasure really exists!" The rest of the crew (not including the Pirate with a Scarf) whipped around to face him with unabashedly excited expressions plastered on their faces.

"Lads, I hate to break your spirits, but it was just a stor-" he was cut off by the Pirate Captain's glittering animu eyes in his face.

"Oh, Number Two, please can we go to the island of treasure? Oh please oh please oh please?" He brought Polly to the side of his face to aid in his cuteness beam. Pirate with a Scarf pinched the bridge of his own nose between his fingers in exasperation.

"Captain, it's your boat. You're the one that decides where it takes us. But even so, the island of treasure is fictiona-" The Pirate Captain had already scampered off to the wonky wooden wheel widget in delight, his crew chattering amongst themselves about what they'll do when they find the treasure. The Pirate with a Scarf rolled his eyes and smirked to himself, deciding just to go with it.

"With mine, I'd want to get a ham farm," the Pirate Captain said to the group. "Ham whenever I pleased..."

"I'm going ta buy meself a big mess o' dogs," Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate said gruffly. "Jus' a load o' dogs, all runnin' about. I've always wanted that."

"I'd want to just keep it as gold coinage, and decorate me hammock with all me treasure," said Pirate with Gout, facing the sky with a dreamy look in his eyes.

The Pirate Who Likes Kittens and Sunsets smiled. "I don't know what I'd want to buy. I think I'd donate it to people who need it more than I do."

"That's fine of ya, mate. But I'd spend my share on a greenhouse," said the Pirate in Green.

"I'd buy me a genuine human leg," said the Pirate with Prosthetics. "It'd be me fancy leg, for special occasions and such."

"I'd buy a giant quilt and a giant squid, and I'd give the squid the quilt and we'd have a slumber party under the stars!" gushed out Albino Pirate. The others nodded solemnly, for his idea was the best.

Pirate with a Scarf looked over his shipmates like a mother of a bunch of really dumb kids. "What about you? What would you get?" the Pirate with Gout asked the first mate.

"Um... How much treasure would I get?" Pirate with a Scarf asked, willing to play along.

"That don't matter. It's as much as you need to get as much as you want," said the Pirate with Prosthetics.

"Alright, er... I suppose I'd buy a house." The other pirates gasped at his land-lubbing-ness. "Well it'd float, obviously. It'd be a floating boat-house." The other pirates gasped at his solitary-ness. "I mean it wouldn't be my own boat, it's a house, it'd be dragged along this boat with all my stuff in it. I wouldn't be gone or anything." The other pirates gasped at his loyalty.

The Pirate Captain looked over from the wheel. "What would you fill the house with?" He smiled expectantly.

"I... I'm not sure. Pictures maybe."

"Of what?"

"Nice things."

"What sorts of nice things?"

"Things like... like people I know."

"What sorts of people?"

"Nice ones."

The Pirate Captain grinned triumphantly to himself, for he was a nice man and knew that the result of this line of questioning was a profound confession of admiration in disguise as a silly bit of dialogue. Pirate with a Scarf fiddled with his scarf. It had taken a long time for him to say anything like that. Thankfully, the rest of the crew was oblivious as usual.

Though the more he thought about it, a whole house just filled with pictures of the... of nice people would be a bit silly. Maybe even a bit creepy. He'd have to put a couch or two in there too. Maybe keep his leftover treasure in there as well. And it could also serve as extra storage for the ship...

He shook the thoughts out of his head. He was getting caught up in the idea and had nearly forgotten that the island didn't actually exist.

"So! Where to, Number Two?" said the Pirate Captain. "Hehe, to, two."

"Uh, well, what is it you mean?"

"Which direction! Which way to the island of treasure," said the captain, "Come on, man, north? South? East? West? Perhaps even northeast or southeast or so forth?"

"Well, as I was trying to explain, Captain-" But the Pirate with a Scarf was cut off by the sound of scraping coming from down in the waves. He and several of the other pirates rushed to the side to see a mermaid scraping her claws against the sides, leaving behind grooves where wood had been torn away.

The Mermaid with Long Purple Hair hissed up at them. "Give him back!"

A mermaid with an unusually long tail hissed with her. "We want to hear the story! Let us hear it or we'll take him ourselves!"

"Ohh dear. I knew this was a bad idea," said the Pirate with a Scarf. "Captain, the mermaids are attacking again..."

"I thought we'd lost them! Those darn disrobed demons," said the Pirate Captain. He left the wheel-seems it's simply called a wheel-and glared over the side of the boat at the fishy ladies. "You'll take him when I've taken my last breath, you scurvy dames!" he shouted.

The Pirate with a Scarf winced. "Captain, please, I can just tell them the story and then they'll leave us alone..."

"That's what they want you to think, but they'd just want more and more stories from you until you couldn't tell anymore! And then they'd get bored of you and probably eat you!"

"No we wouldn't!" shouted the Mermaid With Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth. "We just want to know how the damn thing ends!"

"And also how the mermaids are involved!" added the Mermaid With Long Purple Hair.

The Pirate Captain was going to shout back some more insults, but the Pirate with a Scarf interrupted him by yelling out, "They end up finding all the treasure, and the mermaids were the ones guarding it! The pirates romanced the mermaids into letting them through!"

Some of the other pirates giggled, remembering the story. For many of them, the parts where the pirates romanced ladies, which in real life was such a difficult feat, was their favorite part.

But the mermaids seemed unsatisfied. "Is that it?" shouted the Mermaid with an Unusually Long Tail. "Their only purpose was to be romanced?"

"Isn't that why ladies are included in stories in the first place?" shouted back the Pirate Captain.


"It wouldn't kill you to give ladies varied purposes and motivations, you know!" shouted a mermaid with green skin.

Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate sighed. "Aye, that would be a nice change..." Some of the pirates gave him a weird look, but he didn't retract his statement.

"This is getting into weirdly serious territory," muttered the Pirate Captain.

"And I don't think they're going to leave now, since they're somewhat upset," said the Pirate with a Scarf.

"I'll ask," said the Pirate Captain. He went back to shouting at the mermaids. "You know the story now, are you going to leave?"

"No! We want better representation!" shouted the Green-skinned Mermaid.

"Give us the scarfed pirate!" shouted the Purple-Haired Mermaid.

The Pirate Captain snarled. "Never!" He drew his sword so quick that the Pirate with a Scarf had to duck out of the way to avoid a nasty cut. "Just try and take him from me, you... you... fish people!"

The Pirate Captain made to jump dastardly over the side of the boat, blade swinging ferociously, but Pirate with a Scarf grabbed the tails of his coat and pulled him back. "Captain! Stop this at once!" he said, rather menacingly for a man of his usually calm demeanor.

"Number Two, what are you doing? You've ruined my rugged fighting leap!" The Pirate Captain looked dumbstruck. The rest of the crew was in shock, and the mermaids were circling like sharkmaids.

"Captain, the mermaids... The mermaids are right." He let out a sigh of disappointment. "It wasn't fair of me to only have them in the story as love interests." Giving his captain a half-smile, he gently pushed the other pirate away and leaned over the boat to the mermaids, who had perked up at his words of regret and were murmuring to each other. "Excuse me," he called down to them. The Green-skinned Mermaid crossed her arms and waited for him to continue. "I'll change the story. I'm sorry for making mermaids sound like weak, one-sided characters." A few of them raised their eyebrows. "For... for making all women weak, one-sided characters." They looked a bit happier at this.

"Well, get on with it!" The Blue-eyed Mermaid called to him. "Let's hear how the story goes this time around!" The other mermaids along with Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate gave shouts of agreement. Eventually the rest of the pirates joined in, the Pirate Captain stubbornly waiting to be the last to accept these new terms. Then they all sat in a circle around Pirate with a Scarf.

"Well, the group of magically-enhanced pirates get to the island of treasure. They see that the island is surrounded by equally magical mermaids, whose mermaid tribe had been guarding the isle for their entire lives. It was tradition in the mermaid community.

"As everyone in the magical pirate crew understood, each mermaid had a different reason for guarding the treasure. Some of them did it to honor their ancestors and keep the tradition strong. Others enjoyed seeing the beautiful jewels and coins so much that they wanted to be around it all day. Still others guarded the island in order to gain experience and move up in the world after their current career was over and done with.

"The mermaid's motivations aside, they were also uniquely exceptional. One of the mermaids had long purple hair, a rare color." The Mermaid with Purple Hair flipped her tail joyfully. "Another had sparkling green skin. She took care of it very well." The Mermaid with Green Skin blushed a darker green. "Yet another had amazingly blue eyes, that gleamed like sapphires." The Mermaid with Sapphire Eyes giggled.

"When the magical pirates made it from their ship to the entrance of the island, they-"

"Oy!" shouted the Mermaid with Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth.

"They... noticed another beauty, a mermaid whose sharp teeth glinted like pearls in the sun." The Mermaid with Uncommonly Sharp Eyeteeth brought her hands to her cheeks and twirled in a giddy circle.

"And then they tried to enter the treasure's keep. 'You can't come in here,' one of the mermaids said to the group of pirates. 'This treasure is to be kept away from any common pirates like you!'

"'Well, we're no common pirates,' said the magical pirate captain, who demonstrated their power by floating a foot off the ground. At this, the mermaids gasped. But because of their strong motivations, they would not let them through.

"'But look,' said the pirate's dashing first mate, 'see how handsome and skilled at flirting we are?' He demonstrated his power by kissing the hand of one of the mermaids. Instead of changing her mind about the pirates, she slapped his hand away and retched openly, for she was not swayed by silly things like romance, especially when it was with someone she had met just seconds before.

"'I don't understand,' said a pale pirate in the crew. 'I thought that if you flirted with a girl, she'd give you her treasure.'

"'Don't be so foolish,' said a pirate who had curvy hips. 'And don't make all girls out to be the same.'

"'Well, how are we supposed to get past these mermaids without romance on our side?' said a pirate with bandages around his leg.

"'I think you've forgotten one of our powers,' said the intelligent first mate. 'We can be run through with no effect. That means we can fight without dying, you see.' The rest of the crew was awed at his wit. Then they drew their swords and killed the mermaids without fear of being killed themselves. That was when they stole all the treasure and had a grand ole time on the boat full of gold. The end."

The pirate crew wept with joy at the amazingly retold story. The mermaids looked a bit miffed still, but were so swayed by being included in the story and complimented by the Pirate with a Scarf that they accepted it and yodeled a thank you, swimming back to their cove.

"Good job there, Number Two," said the Pirate Captain, clapping his first mate on the back. "I thought you tried a little too hard on the motivations bit, but otherwise it went just fine."

The rest of the crew murmured and nodded in agreement.

"I liked the pirate with curvy hips," said the Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate. "He was my favorite."

"Well, thank you," said the Pirate with a Scarf, "I'm glad that whole mess was cleared up so easily." He chuckled nervously. "I must admit, the thought of being kidnapped by them for good was sort of frightening!"

"No worries, Number Two. We would most certainly rescue you," said Pirate Captain. "And then they'd likely try to capture you again, and we would rescue you again, and it would turn into a silly cat-and-mouse game to pass the time."

The Pirate with a Scarf didn't much like that idea, but he did appreciate that he'd be rescued each time. So he thanked the Pirate Captain all the same.

"Now then, how about we set a course for a different adventure," said the Pirate Captain. "One preferably with as few mermaids as possible."

"How about an adventure in Scotland?" suggested the Pirate in Green. "We could find the Loch Ness Monster! Or a princess maybe!"

"Sounds fine to me," said the Pirate Captain. "Set course for Scotland!"

The crew set to work , and the Pirate Captain went to the wheel. He moved to turn it, then paused. "Number Two, which way is Scotland?"

"Northeast, sir," said the Pirate with a Scarf, coming to his side.

"Ah. Thank you," said the Pirate Captain. He turned the ship in the right direction, and they headed out through the calm waves for the land of bagpipes and kilts. And as the ship straightened out, Pirate Captain took a hand from the wheel to place his arm around the Pirate with a Scarf's shoulder.

The Pirate with a Scarf wasn't sure what to say to this, and the Pirate Captain didn't seem to be about to say anything himself. So the Pirate with a Scarf just left it there, and the two stood together with soft smiles on their faces, the sun setting behind them as they made their way for adventure.

the end