So I'm obsessed with OUAT, and obsessed with Emma/Jefferson. Mainly everything Jefferson/Sebastian Stan. I'm trying to keep my hopes in check for canon Mad Swan, but I want it so badlyyyy.
Anyway, this is set after the curse is broken and magic come to Storybrooke. I guess its AU because the story is under the assumption that E/J have kind of been having a relationship of sorts.
Anyway enjoy! Please review, tell me if you liked/loved/hated it! I love feedback, seriously.
She tiptoed back in the room, shutting the door quietly. A figure stirred in the bed as she crept back towards her side and slipped back in the covers.
Sneaking back into bed was still something she was getting used to. Definitely not something she has done many times before. Her auto pilot has always been set on run. She found that staying often times was against her very nature.
Shifting comfortably on her back, she stared at the top covering of the extravagant canopy bed. She was used to sleeping on roll away beds and uncomfortable hotel mattresses. Something this extravagant was not ideal for someone who couldn't stay in one place for very long.
She looked over at the man in her bed, watching his chest go up and down in interest. The rest of his body seemed so still though, much too still, she noted, except for the slight twitch in his smile…
"I know you're up."
His eyes shot open and he turned his head, looking at her. "I got up when you went to the bathroom. Part of me was a little surprised you came back."
She ignored that last part. "What were you doing pretending to be asleep like that?"
"What were you doing staring at me while I was sleeping?"
She sighed. "Jefferson"
She knew she was not going to win this one. "I was just thinking."
"About?" He shifted his entire body on his side, so he was completely facing her now.
"Just…" She stalled. She knew he had just as many issues as she did, but there was still something weird about opening herself up to someone completely. "Just about how unnecessarily extravagant your damn bed is."
He let out a laugh, a real uninhibited laugh that sent the butterflies in her stomach swirling. "You realize, my dear, that you are a princess. If we were in your kingdom right now the bed you would be sleeping in would put this bed to shame."
"Really?" It was a weird thought, but she went with it.
"Yes. Your entire bed would probably be made of something insanely expensive, like gold or something. And you would have the finest silk sheets anyone could have ever dreamed of."
She laughed. She didn't know what was more preposterous, the idea of her sleeping every night in a bed that grand and it being normal, or the fact that she and Jefferson were up at 4 am talking about silk sheets.
"And you could probably afford something other than that red leather jacket you always wear." He said, nudging her playfully.
She glared. "I have other clothes."
"Your Highness, you could have had a million of those red leather jackets made."
"Don't call me that."
"It's true though." Now he was fully sitting up, back up against the headboard. "A bizarre concept isn't it? We could have had completely different lives if it wasn't for the curse."
Now she was sitting up too. "I would have had a real mother and a father. I would have had a real family." The worst part of thinking about the curse was thinking about what was ripped away from her. The chance to grow up with a loving family. Saying that things between her and Mary Margaret and David (or Snow and Charming? Mom and Dad? She wasn't really sure what she should call them yet) were weird was an understatement. How do you go from being friends into a familial relationship?
She felt Jefferson reach for her hands, which were tightly clenched together in a ball. She hadn't even realized she had clenched them. "But where would Henry be? You've found family Emma, it was just a different way than normal." And that was all he had to say for her to calm down. He always knew exactly what to say, which was so bizarre since this very same man drugged her and held her hostage.
"I guess I am inadvertently grateful for the curse then." She laughed.
She wouldn't give up Henry for the world, and despite everything that has happened to her, she knew that it was leading her up to the life she had now, whether she liked it or not.
"And you?" Her eyes lifted up towards him. "Are you happy with the way things turned out now that you have Grace?"
He pulled back his hand and his eyes stormed over a little. A few moment of silence passed before he sighed. "I haven't figured that one out yet."
Fair enough. She pulled a stray stand of hair back behind her ear. Was it stupid that she was the tiniest bit upset he hadn't said yes? Of course he wouldn't be grateful for the curse, it forced him to live next door to his daughter in agonizing torture. After everything, she was selfish through and through, he was thinking about his daughter and she was thinking about… whatever this weird situation they had between them was. Damn this 4 am time, it made her think about things she could usually push away.
"So," she said, breaking the silence, "Would we have ever met in this alternate fairytale world?"
He laughed. "Emma, I don't even think you realize how special you are and how insignificant I am."
She grew defiant. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you probably would have been the most important person in the kingdom, with suitors from every corner asking for your hand in marriage, offering you all the riches and power in the world."
She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "A forced marriage isn't really my thing."
"Greatness would have been an inevitability for you though. It has always been an inevitability for you. You would have run in circles of royalty while I would have been picking mushrooms for market. Or in Wonderland." His eyes filled with clouds of fear that she saw him quickly push away.
Instinctively, she glanced down at the scar on his neck quickly, trying to cover up that she had been looking. But she knew he saw. The constant reminder of his insanity, his life as the Mad Hatter. It's hard to forget when your scars stare you right in the face every time you look in the mirror.
"Emma," he almost whispered, painfully. He let his hands drift down towards the blanket, gripping it with a force that made her gasp a little in surprise. He clenched his eyes shut as he released the grip on it, letting his fingers dance lightly along the material. "It doesn't matter what world we are in. No matter what role I play, I'm never good enough for you. I'm not good for you. You know that."
The vulnerability in his voice had them both in a trance, and the only thing she could concentrate on was the light touching of his fingers on the fabric of the comforter and the pain in his voice. "Don't be an idiot."
"Emma, I'm telling you because I care about you. I hurt everyone I love."
"So do I." She shot back.
"Eventually I'm going to do something crazy that might put you in danger."
"Not if do something self-destructive first."
He lifted his hand softly to her cheek. "You're perfect."
She pulled away. "I'm not though. I'm just as messed up as you, if not more. I may not have spent another life in Wonderland but I'm certainly not a Princess. I have more insecurities than I can count, and you seem to be the only person in this weird town who can help me forget them. So stop with this self-deprecating talk, and just be here with me."
She hadn't realized that her voice had raised until she heard it echo in the room. She continued speaking, this time quieter. "I'm a big girl. I know exactly what I'm getting into. I can't promise I'm going to be here forever, but I can be here now. If that's not enough for you, let me know now."
He lifted her head up to face him. "If I'm not enough for you, let me know now."
"So, we'll let each other know when, this, is going to stop?" She said, quietly.
He looked at her like she was a china doll, and she hated it. She was tired of being vulnerable, she had shown enough of that tonight, from the moment she got back into bed.
She broke the silence. "Can we just forget this whole conversation and go back to bed?" An unwritten truce. An unwritten promise to stick around.
"I don't know if I can go back to bed now." He said honestly.
"Neither can I."
He smirked. "Any ideas as to what we can do to pass the time?"
Smug bastard. Although part of her knew he was lightening the mood and she was grateful for it. She shifted her leg over his so that she was straddling him. His hands automatically went under her, pushing her closer. "I don't know, monopoly?"
"You suck." Gone was his weirdly proper way of speaking. She loved when he got so... distracted that he started using slang terms.
"I can think of something you want me to suck."
He groaned a little. "Emma." She knew he couldn't control himself while she was rotating her hips against him like this. Thoughts of the previous conversation gone, but still present in the air. The way he held her, it was different. More secure. The way she moved against him, confident and more unguarded.
"So, while I'm living in this extravagant bed made of gold and silk sheets, what are you doing?" She let her eyelids flutter a little, knowing the reaction she was getting.
He flipped them over. "I don't give a damn."
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