So this is the final chapter of Letting Go Part 1. Thanks for the reviews but please send more

"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along


Today is the memorial service for all those who died seven days ago. The town is still shaking. It's a small town and everybody lost someone that day.

Bella hasn't said a word since that day. I told her in the hospital that Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Angela and Ben had all died. She just looked at me and said I know.

Since then she has just sat and stared at the wall or slept. She won't eat and just drinks a few sips of water if I force the issue.

This is worse than last year. Then she was consumed by anger and guilt. She had a driving force behind what she was doing.

Now she is truly lost. Her eyes are dead and I know there is nothing I can do to change that. I sit with her every day for most of the day. I read her favourite books to her even though I think they are shit but she never responds.

Today I have to get her ready for the memorial. Emily comes round to help shower and dress her. Bella is like a rag doll now.

I pick her up and carry her down the stairs. Charlie is waiting for us next to the cruiser. His eyes are red from crying and he looks a shadow of the man he was last week.

The ride to the cemetery was in total silence. All of us lost in our own thoughts.

On the edge of the cemetery a couple of hundred folding chairs had been placed in rows facing a small stage. To the side sat 75 coffins. Next to each coffin was an open grave. There was a curtain behind the stage blocking off a memorial which had the names of all seventy two students and three teachers. I could see news vans surrounding the area. Forks was now officially on the map and everybody would know about it but for all the wrong reasons.

I helped Bella to walk to the front were the other surviving students who weren't in hospital were seated. A girl I knew as Vanessa pulled her into a hug. Bella didn't respond. A smiled a small apology at her before taking my seat with the rest of the pack.

Angela's father had asked a friend to perform the service. I don't think Pastor Webber could say a word. His daughter was gone and nothing could bring her back.

"Friends and family we are gathered here today on the saddest of days for this small town. There is not a person here who has not being touched by this great tragedy. We all lost someone on that horrible day. We will never know why two young boys could be so filled with hate as to kill their own classmates in cold blood. This is not the first such tragedy to befall this country and sadly it will not be the last. We don't know yet how this town will go own having lost so many of its young people. Young minds filled with hope and promise. There were students about to graduate and take on the rest of the world. Instead today we must mourn not only their deaths but their futures. We must say goodbye today and with heavy hearts move on with our lives. "

The minister stepped down and began a blessing over the coffins. I stared up at the cloudy sky. Today was too much for all of us. We all stood and watched as the rollers dropped allowing all the coffins to lower into the graves simultaneously. Time to say Goodbye by Sarah Brightman started to play. I could hear people all around me crying. Sam who was generally so strong was shaking as his own sorrow overcame him.

People stepped forward to place a flower on top of the coffins. I walked towards the grave of Edward Masen.

I bent down and whispered so that nobody could hear me.

"I know that you are not really here mate. I want you to know how much I admire you for being a hero in the darkest of hours. Wherever you are just know that we are thinking of you and I hope that you are okay."

Bella walked up next to me with Sam's help.

She looked at the small marker.

Edward Anthony Masen

21 September 1994 -23 January 2012

Gone but not forgotten

Bella didn't say a word. She just collapsed on the ground sobbing.

I helped her up and together we walked back to the chairs.

"I can't do this Jacob. I can't carry on after this."

It was the first thing she had said in days. I just held her close.

"You will get through this Bella. You are stronger then you think."

We sat down and the minister stood on the stage again.

"Today we would also like to thank the heroes of that day. Some of them gave their lives that day but others are here for us to thank in person. To give your life for another is the greatest sacrifice we can make. We would like to honour and thank Edward Masen, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Jonathan Schimdt and Sarah Taylor. You gave your lives so that others could live. Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale were not even involved in the shooting but both of these courageous youngsters died helping others out of the fire. We would also like to thank the boys from the La Push reservation who managed to stop both shooters and help those who were injured to safety. Sam, Jacob, Paul, Seth, Embry and Collin we cannot thank you enough for what you did that day. I would now like to ask the La Push boys to unveil the monument to those who died on the 23 of January."

We walked up and slowly pulled the cloth off the wall. Seventy five names along with an etching of their last school photo and their ages stood on the wall. At the top of the wall I small inscription read. We will never forget this day; we will never forget you and we will never understand.

People slowly walked away from the service as the rain started to come down on the freshly filled graves. In the far corner I saw two unmarked graves and four people standing next to them watching us. The graves of the two boys who had brought such destruction to this community. I quickly looked away.
















April 25

I am wasting away and I know it. I haven't gone back to the school and I don't plan to ever. I have been finishing school via correspondence. I hardly eat anymore only when Charlie or Jacob get desperate with me. I don't run now it would only remind me of him and how horrible I was to him those few months last year. I would give anything to go back in time and treasure every second with him. I haven't applied for any colleges. Charlie worries about that but I don't plan on going so what would the point have been. Today I am going to end this suffering that I call my life. I am dying anyway inside and well from the Ana but I have hidden it very well from Charlie this time. At sixty five pounds I am hardly even alive anymore anyway. It's just a matter of time. I want to go now and be with Edward again. I feel bad about leaving Charlie but he has to understand that I died that day anyway. I died the moment those bullets hit Edward.

Life is a haze now. I remember love and I remember laughing but it feels like that was another life. The beach as La Push is freezing and rain is pouring down. I walk slowly towards the cliffs. The sea looks violent and it invites me in to my end. I stand on the cliff top and hesitate for less than a second. As I fall I swear I hear his voice.

"Bella wait don't do this."

The water is freezing as I hit it but within seconds I am warm and then darkness overcomes me.

Edward POV

I followed Bella into the water. In a few seconds I had found her and pulled her to the surface. She was alive but only just. I knew I didn't have the strength to handle my blood lust yet so I ran with her to the old Cullen house in Forks. I just had to hope that she was not too far gone and that Carlise could help her to join us in this new life. I glanced at the Cullen wristband I now wore and ran towards the house.

Hope you enjoyed the story and thanks for reading.