A.N. - The first section is from Season 1, Episode 16 - "The Tap-Out Job". The rest of it is my own idea of how everything else happened behind the curtains. Hope you enjoy it!


Eliot Taught Me


"You call this a sport?" said Sophie as she hid behind the red pillow, barely able to watch the fight on the screen in front of her.

Eliot glared at her.

"Yeah, this is a sport! These are some of the best conditioned athletes in the world, you kidding me?"

He got up and walked around behind the couch.

"It's about precision, technique, skill," he said emphasizing each word with a motion of his hand.

Sophie interrupted him. "Like cock-fighting!"

Eliot got angry.

"It's not a cock-fight!" Determined to make his point, he said, "Alright, let me show you something, Hardison…c'mere, can I borrow you?"

As he spoke his last few words, he slid his hand to Parker's waist leading her over to the limited space that they had behind the couch. Parker knew what was coming next. She had been taking lessons from Eliot for a while now, though no one knew about it, and was looking forward to using her moves on someone other than her experienced trainer.

"Alright, square up," he said to both of them, and then leaned into Parker, lowering his voice slightly. "Remember what I showed you?"

She nodded, eager to show off.

Hardison looked at Eliot, not quite believing that Eliot thought that their little thief could come close to beating him up.

"Are you…?" He then chuckled, annoying Parker with his smugness. She knew that she could take him down, even if he thought that just because he was a guy he was tougher than her.

Eliot continued to explain to Sophie, showing her, through Parker demonstrating her skills on Hardison, that, yes, what she was seeing on the television screen in front of her truly was a sport of the highest caliber.


A little while later, she finally let Hardison up, grinning in absolute pride at the fact that she was the cause of his pain. Being a thief, you didn't cause pain…you avoided it whenever you could. Her type of thievery meant as little human interaction as possible.

Hardison rubbed his throat and looked down at the petite blonde in front of him.

"Damn, girl…you could've killed me!"

Parker's grin remained plastered on her face.

"Yeah, I could have, couldn't I?" she said, her voice filled with barely contained glee.

With that, she turned and sauntered out of the apartment, the Hacker following close behind, still in some obvious pain as he continued to massage his soon-to-be bruised throat. Still confused by how she had pulled that off, he said…

"Anyway, how the hell did you do that? I mean, I know you don't go to a gym or take classes; you don't like crowds, and you would have scared off any personal trainers, so-"

She cut him off as they both stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the top floor.

"Eliot taught me."

Hardison looked at her in surprise, not quite believing it, but at the same time realizing that it made the most logical sense. He was the only one who could really put up with her. Suddenly, the fact that she'd hit the button for the top floor instead of the ground floor registered in his mind.

"Uh, do you know that you just hit-?"

She cut him off again. "The button for the top floor, yeah. My stuff's on the roof, it's how I got here."

He looked at her and shook his head.

"Look, why can't you just walk, like normal people? Or take a bus, or drive a car, or-"

"Because those are boring ways. Mine is more fun…and faster," she added with a slight manic grin creeping onto her face.

With that, he decided he just wouldn't say any more and watched as she got off on the top floor and practically ran to the door that led to the roof access. He was about to ask how she'd even opened the door, and then he remembered: Thief. She played with locks for fun.

"Damn, that girl needs to get a hobby…besides robbing banks."


Parker grinned to herself as she landed on the roof of Eliot's building.

She left her stuff on the roof, completely reassured of the fact that no one else could get to her rappelling and zip-line gear except for her and Eliot.

Breaking into his apartment, as she always did, she kicked off her shoes and crashed on his couch, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels. Eliot had tried to give her a key, but she had declined, saying that it was more fun to break in.

Of course, he'd simply rolled his eyes and said "Something's wrong with you…" and a faint grin had crossed his lips.

The two of them had an odd relationship, but it worked. They threw insults, never really meaning them, but always relied on the other to pull them out of their odd moods.

The door swung open and slammed, and Parker lifted her head to watch him slide his coat off and walk over to join her.

"Beat you," she said, a smug grin on her face.

He sighed and simply replied with, "Don't you always?" and then sat down at the end of the couch, pulling her feet into his lap, where he then proceeded to give her a long needed foot massage. Even though she wasn't on her feet a lot, she still appreciated it.

"Hmmm…" she sighed, and stretched, causing him to grin.

She finally stopped flipping channels and left it on Animal Planet, where it was showing some special on the Serengeti.

Neither of them really paying attention to the tv, they began to talk.

"So," started Eliot, rubbing his thumb along her insole. "Did you have fun at our meeting today?"

She nodded, her slightly manic grin appearing on her face and he let out a laugh, knowing that she had most likely enjoyed every second of beating up on their team's Hacker. He knew that she'd been dying to try her skills out on someone who couldn't beat her five ways from Sunday.

"Oh yeah. Beating up Hardison was fun! Maybe we can make it a regular thing!"

He laughed and shook his head.

"I think the rest of the team might have a problem with that, especially Hardison."

She shrugged, picking at her nails in that way that she did when she wasn't really paying attention to what was being said, and he simply shook his head.

He squeezed her calf and she looked up. Catching her eye, he began to slowly run his fingers up and down the muscle that he'd just squeezed, turning the touch into a caress. Using both hands, now, he moved slightly higher.

"So," he said conversationally, as his fingers were now tracing just above her knees. "Did he ask where you learned how to do that?"

She nodded, not wanting to break the moment that he was creating, but then said,

"Yeah…I told him you taught me…"

Her voice was light and breathy and Eliot was pleased to hear the reaction that he was creating in her. He inched his fingers ever higher, and then slowly began to pull her closer to him while he moved towards her, pulling her into his lap.

"And…? Did he ask anything else?"

Parker shook her head in response and sighed as he positioned her so that she was straddling his lap.

She dropped her head and deeply inhaled, enjoying the smell of his shampoo.

His mouth was now at her ear, slowly worrying her lobe between his teeth and she let out a small moan. He then briefly let it go, so that he could whisper into her ear, and she shivered as she felt his breath on her neck just below.

"Did you tell him how our little training sessions usually end?"

She shook her head again in the negative, and he grinned like a fool. Only he had ever seen this side of Parker: the extremely feminine, bundle of nerves in his lap that simply wanted to be with him and only him.

He placed a soft kiss on her neck and then slowly stood, wrapping her legs around his waist, and then headed to the bedroom…

Where their training sessions ended, eight times out of ten.

Two times out of ten, they never even left the training room.


THE END