Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly :(

AN: So, this is my first story, so yes this will be like a roller coaster of a story there will be very happy moments as well super depressing ones, (yes i like those type of stories deal with it), I wish there was like a inbetween T and M its not like there will be explicit sexual content but there will be other explicit or strong themes like drugs, cutting, suicide, swearing, and other stuff so if you my readers see that it is too agressive I will change my rating o and yeah the start its a little bit weird but it gets better so, enjoy :)

"Kiss me…" I say, as his lips touched mine.

"Cherry pink cute lips…" He hums. Man! His hair is so soft that my hands just can't get enough of it.

"Am I in heaven?" I ask.

"Well, if I'm kissing the most beautiful girl in the entire world then yes."

"Freddie…" When I looked into his eyes I saw something unexpected and horrific.

"Um.. is the light too dim or your eyes are black?" I say starting to get nervous.

"Why Sam? Don't you like how I look?" He says with a different type of voice, it was dark and wicked. "Freddie?" I step out of were he was, trying so desperately to get away from him.

"C'mon Sam, you wouldn't have thought I was Freddie did you? How could he love someone like you?" he says as an enormous pair of black unfeathers wings and horns came out of his head. "Don't be shy, I wanna have some fun with ya"

"Get away from me!" I scream as I ran through the door, but suddenly Wendy's living room turned into a maze. I didn't care; I just ran hoping to get as far from that evil Freddie as I could.

"Come here Sammy, come play with me" He flies over me just before I could reach the end of the maze and everything went black.

I wake up with the sound of my cell. It's been weeks since that dream started, I just couldn't do anything to stop those fucking nightmares! Damm Wendy, those pills she gave were no help at all, you see she told me they would calm you, take the pain away and make you sleep fine. Damm her! In fact, I think those pills gave me the nightmares in the first place!

I look at my phone and see it's a message from Carly "Wake up! You're going to be late for school AGAIN!" I couldn't help but feel depressed, I mean school isn't the most fun of places in the world and apart from that, I couldn't stand the sight of Freddie, the level of unrequited love was just too high for me to stand it; I think that instead of hating me he just may even feel pity of me. I look into the mirror and all I see is fatness and ugliness, but oh well, this can't be helped I think I'm the type of person that gains more weight when depressed than losing it, plus the laxatives are just too expensive for Wendy to get them..yet.

I dress up and take a couple of fat cakes for breakfast. Mom's not home, she hasn't been for the past 2 weeks, went with some douchebag to L.A. I think, not that I miss her though.

As I leave I take a smoke from my secret pocket that's hidden inside my chucks.

Before I reach to school I put my cigarette away and take 2 bites from my fat cake. I don't want Carly to start questioning me and make big fuzz about it. I see her standing in the lockers with her boyfriend

"Hey Sam, guess what?" Carly says as she grabs me to the lockers

"What?" I say trying to sound curious.

"Well, yesterday Matt told me that for our 6-month anniversary he wants our relationship to "the next level" isn't that great?"


"What are you talking about?" A voice too familiar asks behind me

" Freddie! I was just telling Sam about taking my relationship with Matt to the next level!" Carly joyfully exclaims.

"That's great news Carls, oh speaking of which, I just got invited to this weekend's party by Tareen, well I know its actually Kathy's but she invited me to go with her, guess you could say it's a date" Freddie says.

"Freddie that's great, Sam who are you going with?"

"With a bottle of sleeping pills" I mutter.

"What did you say I couldn't hear you" The bell rings and I'm glad about it for the first time.

"Sorry Carls, talk to you later gotta go to class" I say and quickly make my exit.

I sat in the corner of the classroom as my eyes watered, I just couldn't stand it, my heart sank deep into my ribcage.

"Reality is a prison"

AN: If you want more chapters you know what to do! and if not just review :)