Of all the times Gabriel could have picked to show up he just had to choose this very moment to make his grand entrance.
"Sup kiddo, how's the whole 'telling-your-egghead-brother' thing coming along? Can I guess?" Gabriel asked, with a little too much enthusiasm as he appeared in the middle of Bobby's kitchen, where the youngster Winchester was currently standing.
Sam didn't even bother to dignify that with an answer as he pointed behind Gabriel. Spinning around, the archangel came face to face with the other, less pleasant, Winchester brother. When Gabriel had zapped in he had made sure to freeze time for a bit, since Sam said he didn't appreciate when he'd stick Dean in a pocket universe just so they could get some alone time.
He could see the aneurism forming as the scowl on Dean's face was frozen in place. In any other circumstance, Gabriel would be inclined to draw a mustache on him or something along those lines, but instead he realized exactly why Dean was so pissed. Turning back around to face Sam, he shook his head sadly materializing a blow pop.
"So, you told him then." Not a question but more of a statement.
"Nope." Sam said, shaking his head, "That," he pointed in the direction of Dean, "Is how he reacted when I said your name."
"Yikes Sammy, he really hate me that much?"
"You killed him over a hundred times, how do you think he'd feel about you banging his younger brother."
"Oh Sam-o, you know I love it when you talk like that." Gabriel smirked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Time and place." Sam chided, flicking his hands over to display the table and a frozen in time Dean standing not even 5 feet away.
Shrugging his shoulders Gabriel smiled, "Exactly, we have all the time in the world and clearly there is a table right there." He pointedly stated, sitting on the edge of said table and swinging his legs back and forth, "Sammy, you know I've wanted to try that out forever!" He exclaimed; he was acting like a child.
Oh, are you going to put me in a time out?
Gabriel's voice added suggestively, echoing in Sam's mind.
"Gabriel, my brother is right there!" his mate just tilted his head and shrugged, as if to say "Your point is?"
Instead of coming up with a retort for Gabriel he just looked at him, and suddenly he snapped his fingers signifying that the freeze frame was gone.
"-the hell do you mean that sonofabitch isn't dead?" his brothers voice rang out, filling the silence, making Sam wish that Gabriel hadn't returned time flow. Now he'd have to explain to Dean exactly why Gabriel wasn't dead and how technically he wasn't a trickster but instead one of the four archangels. It was a time like these that he really wished his life wasn't this complicated.
Hey! I make it worth your while don't I?
Came Gabriel's voice as he read Sam's mind yet again.
One moment Dean is ranting and raving, and then he suddenly notices the presence of the archangel. That was when Sam realized this was worse than the apocalypse, and that was in no way an exaggeration.
"Well, Dean-o, thanks for finally noticing me, I was beginning to wonder if you'd forgotten what I looked like, but let's all be honest, with this handsome mug that'd be nearly impossible." Gabriel, with his too big ego and a mouth to match, had to say at that very moment. If Sam had to guess he'd say Gabriel's shitty timing was no accident.
As Dean advanced, most likely getting ready to clock the archangel, Sam decided that that was his clue to intervene. Not for the fact he was worried that Dean could actually do some harm to his mate, but quite the opposite actually no matter his pint sized appearance, Sam knew Gabriel was no being to be reckoned with. Plus, he really didn't want Gabriel to stick his brother in another time loop, once was enough for both the Winchesters.
"Back off Dean, he's just…well, being him."
"Since when do you stand up for monsters?" was Deans none too happy remark. Sam knew he was upset but he still needed to find a way to get Dean to understand. Clearly though Gabriel had a plan of his own.
Suddenly he was being yanked down forcefully where a pair of soft lips were there to await him, Gabriel always tasted like sugar or chocolate. After pulling away to glance back to Dean, who stood gaping at them, Gabriel tried to look innocent as possible his hand still fisted in Sam's shirt.
"So, uh, you cool with this?" Gabriel asked.
Apparently angels all have the same great sense of "grand entrances" seeing as at that very moment that Castiel decided to appear next to a fuming Dean.
"I heard you call." The angel proclaimed causing Dean to direct his anger elsewhere momentarily.
"That was two weeks ago!" He practically shouted, causing Cas to gaze at him curiously and for Sam to internally chuckle thinking 'where's that more profound bond now?'
"Need I remind you that I have other business to tend to, I am not at your beck and call Dean Winchester." The frightening edge that was in Castiel's tone was outright and terrifying, well…if you were Dean at that moment.
"I think this is a more pressing matter." Dean stated, looking as if he were about to fall apart at the seams. "Did you know about that?" Dean asked, motioning from Gabriel to Sam and back again.
"Yes, I thought you were aware." Castiel's brow furrowed tilting his head as he exchanged looks with his brother.
"Hey bro, you know when I said we'd tell him soon, what I really ment was that we'd tell him when we were at least 95% sure he wouldn't kill me." Sam's mate explained.
The next moment Dean was about to lung at Gabriel but Castiel gripped him tightly on the shoulder and in a flash they were gone.
"Whadya say, I think that went well." Gabriel exclaimed, turning to look at Sam, who had let his head fall and hit the table with an audible thump.
"I can't believe you seriously just said that, now he's going to know that-"
"He's not gonna know anything. Cas won't tell him everything, trust me. I know my brother."
Unfortunately Sam was going to have to trust him.
25 minutes later
Still no word from Castiel or Dean, and Gabriel had a sneaking suspicion that they were on some crazy sex spree. So after making sure Sam was otherwise occupied he sent a text out to Dean.
You can yell at me or threaten me, hell you can even blame this whole thing on me, say that I tricked him with some weird angel mojo mind control but you and I both know the truth. So all I ask, is that you don't take your anger out on Sammy.
After sending it he called his brother next, it became apparent that Castiel wasn't going to answer after the fourth ring and his suspicions about marathon sex were confirmed. He left a message along the lines of please make sure your human answers his phone, and then he hung up.
1 hour later
His phone pinged; and as he read it he chuckled at how Dean decided to just accept the fact.
I still don't trust your sorry ass, and if you ever hurt Sam, I will end you. Cas and I still have some left over holy oil.
It wasn't the acceptance speech he was looking for, but it was a start.