A Family Guy fic that describes my American Dad theory by Cakeonfire911

A/N: I've been seeing a lot of cartoon theories on Creepypasta lately, and I noticed that American Dad didn't have one yet. Luckily, this means I can share my idea with all you folks on the Internet (in other words, the world). So, you know how Brian Griffin kind of mirrors Seth MacFarlane, right? Well, let's just say this fanfic will make you believe that even more. Let me remind you, this will be rather short; I'm preparing for my longer stories. No promises, though. This may turn out to be as long as "Bad Girls With Big Hearts" in the Ed, Edd n' Eddy section. So, with no more further interruptions, let's begin.

Chapter One- A Work From His Childhood

It was a dreary Saturday morning in the town of Quahog. Brian and Stewie decided to look through some old junk in the attic. There was no real reason for it; both of them were just looking for something to occupy their time without having to look at the crappy weather outside.

About an hour into their activity, Stewie came across a box that said, in sloppy handwriting, "This is the property of Brian… er, whatever my last name's supposed to be. Don't touch."

The young Griffin child pulled the box out of its place and lifted the flaps. 'Brian's old personal stuff, eh?' he thought, a mischievous grin present on his face, 'I'm sure this'll be good.'


Brian slammed down the flaps of the fading cardboard box in frustration. He didn't want Stewie to be poking around through his belongings, not even if they were things from when he was a pup. Brian explained that to his young ward, only to get the reply of, "But, Brian, you can trust me, and you know it. Besides, I'm just a baby. Who am I gonna tell, hmm?"

The dog rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine," he declared, "but I'm going to do it with you to see that you don't dig into anything private. Got it?"


So the duo went a-browsing through Brian's childhood items. There was a lot of schoolwork, most of which had big green A's at the top. "What did I tell ya?" Brian said smugly, "I was a smart kid."

'Jeez, talk about egotistical,' Stewie muttered to himself as he continued looking.

There wasn't much else outside of the aspect of school, minus a few short stories Brian wrote. But at the very bottom of the box there was a thick binder filled with college-ruled line paper. Stewie picked up the binder and examined the front cover. "American Dad," he read slowly (due to the fact that when he read he always had to sound out the "big words").

The letters of "American Dad" were bubble letters, each one filled in with a red magic marker. A tiny white space that was bound by an outline of black Sharpie was also found on each letter. The lines were very clean and smooth. Stewie was quite impressed.

"Brian, did you write this?" the baby questioned, pointing to the cover.

"Actually, my foster brother Alex did the cover art," Brian answered. He hesitated and then added, "but I wrote the whole script."

Stewie flipped through the many pages of the binder. All of them had a large number of words, and each one was written in Brian's unmistakable handwriting. "Wow," the little boy uttered, "can I read it?"

"Yeah, sure," Brian responded casually.

Immediately Stewie was sucked into the text. He carefully took in every word, wondering what would happen next. Of course, he was a slow reader, so it would take him a while to finish the whole thing. Nevertheless he kept on reading. He could tell from the very beginning it was a comedy script, considering the wacky characters like Roger the alien and Klaus the German fish. What he couldn't tell at first was that Brian was good at humorous works. Normally the dog would write particularly dramatic pieces (except for the one he was trying to ship in Hollywood), and Stewie felt this was a pleasant change. He laughed quite hard at the line, "Steve, you've only got one sister, be nice. And Hayley, Steve's big boy hair isn't going to come in any faster with you taunting him." When the characters Stan and Roger entered the scene, he almost died laughing. At the end of scene one, Stewie calmed down a little bit and stopped reading.

"Brian, this is incredible!" he exclaimed. He pressed the binder to his chest and looked at Brian as if he were a saint.

"You really think so?" Brian asked, a small smile appearing on his face. No one in the world had praised this particular work until that day. Humbly, he stated, "Well, there are a lot of bugs and kinks I need to work out, and-"

"Bugs? Kinks? Brian, I know you are more into writing dramatic literature, but this, man! This is just phenomenal!"

The dog's smile became a little warmer. "Of course, that scene was just the first scene," he informed Stewie, who refuted him with a light giggle.

"I know!" the child said in delight, "I'm going to go read the rest in my room!"

"Okay, then."

So the two were on separate paths until 9:00 p.m. when Stewie returned the script to Brian. They were both in wonderful moods, and they didn't have a care in the world except for that script. Finally, after twenty minutes or so of gushing and flattering, Stewie inquired, "Oh, Brian, why on Earth haven't you tried to get this on T.V. yet? It would get record-breaking Nielsen ratings, and you'd be more famous than Lady Gaga!"

Brian's smile went from comfortable and proud to cold and calm in half a millisecond. "I'm sure it wouldn't be that popular," he rebutted nervously.

Stewie looked a bit confused. "Why do you seem so, you know... shaky about it? It can't be a big flop, and we both know that."

The dog sighed and explained, "Well, the main characters are all based off of real people. Stan Smith was created to make fun of one of my teachers, who also happened to be my next door neighbor. He was terribly over-conservative, and it bugged me so much that, well, I decided to make Stan Smith a revenge dummy for my rage. That teacher had a wife named Nadine who was often against her husband's rather extreme thoughts. For some reason the first name I could think of when someone said 'Nadine' was 'Francine', and there was that character. Those two had a son named Stan, who wanted to follow in his father's right-wing footsteps but was too much of a geek to do so. That was the inspiration for Steve. As for Hayley, there was an ultra-liberal girl named Hallie who lived across the street. She was my very first crush, and it was interesting to think of what it would be like if she lived with a very conservative family. Thus, Hayley was born. Klaus was based off a guy named Hans Van Dan, a former German winter Olympic champion. He lived down the street from us, and my foster parents often had him over for coffee and chit-chat. I was always fascinated by this guy. I constantly wondered what would become of him if he was trapped in a place where not even Olympic fame could help him get out of there. So I made him a goldfish, simple as that. The only character that wasn't inspired by someone was Roger. He was actually a suggestion. Alex, who did the cover art on the binder and all that, wanted me to put in an alien. At first the alien was going to be a lot like E.T. But then I thought that if I could give Roger kind of a pretentious and fey personality, he would be a perfect breakout character. So that's what I did. There you have it, kid."

Stewie and Brian stared into each other's eyes for a minute or two, and then Brian said, "Besides, I don't need it to be on T.V. It's already in my life in a very important way."

A rather freaked-out Stewie walked out of the room, leaving Brian to think about his "very important way."