"I want a divorce!"

"We're not married Doyle, so that's out of the question."

"Feels like it! I spend more time with you than I do with anyone else."

"We work together sunshine. It's natural we spend a lotta time together."

"Bodie, we spend all our time together. You're in my car now. You were in my flat last night, eating my food."

"Yeah, but your lasagne's better than anyone else I know."

"Who did you watch the match with last weekend?"


"Who did you leave the pub with last night?"


"I want a divorce."


"Where's Bodie?"

"I don't know! Do people think we live in each other's pockets?"

"I was only asking! Saw him with Paula last night. Needed a bib he was drooling so much."

"He's big enough and ugly enough to go out alone you know. He doesn't need me to keep tabs on him."

"Ooh, who got out the wrong side of the bed this morning? Lovers' tiff?"

Thinks. I wish.

"Fuck off Anson."

"Where's Bodie?"


"Murph, you seen Doyle?"

"No. Left him at The Star last night, sobbing into Mary's ample bosom."

"What! You left him alone with her? Poor little mite. She'll make a man of 'im."

"Haha. Well he won't be walking straight this mornin'"

"Wasn't Bodie there to look after his little chick?"

"No. He pulled an obbo in Redbridge. See you, gotta go. Hey Jax, try the caff, he might be there."

"Thanks. Hey Roberts, you seen Doyle?"


"How was Mary?"


"Mary. Jax said you went home with her the other night."

Thinks. She's not you love.

"Well I didn't. Just got a bit emotional with her"

"Oh, so you didn't do any horizontal folk dancing with her?"

"BODIE! No I didn't. I politely refused her offer."

"How was Mary?"


"Two days off. What are we gonna do?"

"I'm going to read a book."

"Oh. Got any Swiss roll? Fancy some with me tea."

"In the tin. See I do think about your diet."

"Seein' anyone else?

"Not for a while."

"Two days off. What are we gonna do?"


"Are you goin' back to your place at all?

"Doyle. I like it here. You're a great cook, and your TV's bigger than mine. Shame the sofa sags in the middle"

"Bodie, the sofa's for sitting on, not sleeping on, and I'm not Cinderella! I don't have to look after your every whim."

Mutters. Wish you would.

"Hey I 'eard that! I s'pose you'll want me bed next!"

"Only with you in it sunshine."

"Oh. . .! Why didn't you say. Come 'ere you big idiot. Get yourself up those stairs."

Two hours later

Sleepily. "Are you goin' back to your place at all?

Sated. "No Doyle I am not fuckin' movin' from your side ever again. Now do that thing with your mouth again. Pleeaase . . . "

"Good. That's settled then. Is this what you mean . . .?"