What is blue?
An icy, cold blue. So vivid it burns behind you eyelids like a frozen flame long after the blackness of sleep shields your eyes and the land of dreams fills your mind. Bluer than any crystal sky stretching a million miles over the deepest oceans. Such a colour that comparing it to any beauty of this amazing world would put it to unbelievable shame. Such a colour that is only worthy to belong on the hair of one person.
Blue is my love. Blue is my Grimmjow.
What is red?
Red is heat that makes your skin feel like it is peeling back slowly like crisping, curling bacon. Red is pain that courses through every nerve, pulses in every cell. Red is a blinding light that stabs at my blinking eyes, taunting them with its incessant glare. Red is fire.
Hot and cold. Fire and ice. The blue darts through the pulsing, maddened red, none of its azure brilliance dulled by the choking flames and the looming black smoke. Red flickers in the air, tiny red dancers leaping forth from their creator and twisting in the air. Almost like tiny fairies, playfully swaying to music unheard by human ears, hair flicking through the air like a licking candle flame, merry laughter more musical than any tune that could be performed on even the most magical instrument.
A laugh rises in my throat, as joyous as those of the fairies that would be flying around my head. The swirling dance of red and blue, love and pain, suddenly becomes amusing. The pain tingled and melted into a maniacal bliss. Charred fingers reached through the red, reaching for me.
"Ichi? Ichigo? Hurry! Grab my hand!"
The voice I have heard so many times, a voice that is now a part of my heart forever more.
The furious gurgle, the snapping crackle rolling from the groping inferno.
My blue. My love. My Grimmjow. The red. The fire. The pain.
"Ichi, we have to get out of here! Ichigo, quickly! Look ou-"
The deep, powerful resonance of his voice disappeared. Stopped abruptly like a CD player having the power cord yanked from the wall in the middle of a song. Instant, endless, endless silence.
Every ounce of the light euphoria that had drugged me slipped away, leaving nothing but a cold and bleak feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I tried to call Grimmjow's name, but no sound escaped my dry, smoke filled throat. The chilling darkness inside my body now clouded my vision. Every sensation gone. Nothing around me. No blue. No red. No colour at all.
What is colour?
Nothing but black.
Nothing but darkness.
"I don't think so, no. He isn't responding at all, but he is still breathing."
"Quickly, we need to…"
The voices swirled in my ears. Only scraps of words registered in my dragging, drowsy mind. Pain throbbed everywhere so strongly, I couldn't even begin to comprehend where my body started and the agony began.
"…Severe burns. What of his roommate?"
"Also burned, but not badly injured. … few doors …minor treatment."
"Mr Kurosaki is lucky he made it out alive. Considering his injury to…"
"Highly unlikely. I don't think we should… It's… that never again…"
I couldn't move. It was like I was strapped down to wherever I was, held by an unseen hand of godly power. Everything was shrouded in darkness, cloaked in black. I could see nothing. It took a few moments for me to realise that my eyes were closed, and were held that way by a bandage wrapped tightly around my head. Pushing past the pain with a mental wince, I realised that my entire body was covered in bandages.
My cracked, blistered lips parted slightly, a gurgle of speech forming deep in my throat, but it was all for nought.
I lost consciousness.
"…Seems to be waking up."
"He's been recovering steadily, but he definitely can't…"
Feeling rushed through my limbs, only now a dull throb of pain lingering on my hot, stinging skin. I tried to stretch, feeling stiff in every joint, but steady, warm hands slowed me. My skin cracked uncomfortably as I lay back down.
"Easy, easy now, Mr. Kurosaki. Your wounds are barely healed. You still need to stay still." It was a female voice, calm and reassuring. I couldn't see her face; bandages still pinned my eyes closed.
I tried to swallow, but my throat was dryer than I had thought possible, and the motion felt like shoving sand paper down my swollen, parched orifice.
"Oh, you must be thirst. Here, open your mouth."
I did as she said, and blessed water flowed into my mouth. I swallowed it gratefully, the cold liquid quenching my painful thirst. I licked the last few droplets off of my cracking lips.
"Do you know how it happened, sir?"
I turned my face towards where her voice came from, a puzzled frown pulling at my eyebrows. "How what happened? And… who are you? Where am I?" My voice came out as a wavering crackle, gurgling and bubbling deep in my throat. Each word caused noticeable discomfort as it passed through my lips.
She coughed, seemingly ashamed. "Sorry, where are my manners… I'm Dr Inoue. You're at the local base hospital. You've been unconscious for the few days, but we've been keeping a constant watch on you."
"Ho… Hospital…?" I was now acutely aware of the distinct hospital smell I had been ignorant of until now. The constant lingering scent of high-end cleaning chemicals and rubber gloves filled my nose. I revelled in the smell for a moment, before returning my attention back to Dr Inoue.
"Why am I here?"
"Don't you know what happened at your apartment?"
"No. What happened? Tell me!" A blurry image of fiery, piercing blue entered my mind, swirling with a hot, deep red. "Where's Grimmjow?" I tried to sit up, my heart suddenly aching for him, worrying for him. I could feel scabs cracking open, but I didn't care.
My love, my blue, my Grimmjow.
"Calm down, calm down, please!" Her voice hit a high chord, obviously uncomfortable with my distress. "Mr Jeagerjaques is fine. He suffered minor injuries. Your apartment caught fire. It's not completely certain what caused the blaze, but from what I've been told by passing interns is that a family downstairs left a stove on after they left and it caught alight. Most of the building was engulfed by the time the fire department arrived. You are lucky to have made it out alive. You took severe burns, and a burned beam fell on your head and knocked you out cold. Mr Jeagerjaques dragged you out of the wreck."
My chest heaved with each breath, and the licking, tearing flames flashed behind my eyelids, illuminating the darkness with fiery, angry, hungry red. I imagined the apartment building I had known so well, grown so fond of, looked forward to returning each day, charred and falling apart, blackened pieces barely holding the puzzle together. I pictured Grimmjow, frantic and angry, pulling my unconscious, limp body from the flames. For once I was grateful for the cloth over my eyes; the doctor could not see my tears. The drops soaked quickly into the thirsty fabric.
"…Let… Let me see my Grimmjow…" I demanded, voice barely louder than a whisper. My voice caught painfully in my throat.
Silence filled the room for a moment, and for a while I wondered if the doctor was still with me. Finally she spoke.
"I'll get him for you. He should be able to get out of bed." A bleak tone coloured her voice. She almost sounded pitiful. I heard her stand, and gentle fingers tenderly brushed a stray tear off my cheek. Her clean smelling hair tickled my nose. I froze, not used to her small, dainty fingertips. The hands I knew to touch me were strong, capable, firm. She stayed there for a moment. I wish I could have seen her expression. Then she pulled away, the sound of her clicking high heels slowly fading away.
The following silence was oppressing, a looming presence. My entire body tingled, tense, anticipating him. I felt I would go mad if I did not hear his voice, see his tender smile, feel his warm loving lips on mine. Even if each and every last one of the world's best doctors were at my service, I would give them all up for one person.
I gasped at his deep, rough voice, like grinding sandpaper but in a good way. A guttural, feral voice of a wild animal. But he was my wild animal.
My body twitched in recognition, and tears formed in my eyes again before I could stop them.
I reached for him, hands finally closing on thick, muscular shoulders. I pulled him close, ignoring every protest and stab of pain my body screamed at me, hugging him so tight I was amazed he could still breathe. I bit back sobs, but overwhelmed hiccups still rose forth.
"I'm okay, Ichi. You're the one I should be worried about."
He kissed me, slowly and tenderly, and my lips burned like wildfire. My blue, my Grimmjow, my icy flame, that sets me alight any time his mouth connects with mine. Tears continued to fall from my eyes. Every beat of my heart was in time with the sparks alighting the cracked skin of my lips. The few seconds that had felt like eons suddenly ended, Grimmjow pulling away.
"…T…Take these bandages off my face…" I whispered. I want to see how bad you're hurt."
"Ichi, you're hurt real bad. I don't know if-"
I could sense him hesitate, but finally I felt his fingers hook beneath the fabric. It was painstaking, the amount of time it took him to unwrap each loop. Wrap. Wrap. Wrap .Wrap.
Finally I felt the cloth fall loose, cold air and Grimmjow's hot breath blowing on my face. I grinned and laughed joyously, flinging myself forward and opening my eyes for the first time in, oh, god knows how long. His deep, chuckling laugh sang with mine.
My arms embraced him again. His warmth flooded through me. But I froze like I had been bathed in liquid nitrogen.
Weren't my eyes open? Where is my Grimmjow? Where is the hospital room? It couldn't be pitch black. Hospitals are always lit. Empty darkness swirled in my vision.
I blinked. The darkness persisted. Am I blinking? Or are my eyes stuck shut? I pushed Grimmjow back so he was in front of me. Blinking more and more and more, but still no image appeared.
"Why are you staring at me like tha-"Grimmjow's teasing tone disappeared, his mocking question cut short. His hands gripped my shoulders tighter, beginning to quiver.
"Your… eyes…" His voice was unnaturally tense, as though he were biting back a cry.
"Why?" I cried, groping for his unseen face. My fingers hooked in his luscious, thick hair, the thick, blue, locks I wanted so badly to see. "Why can't I see you?" My frantic fingers darted over his forehead, over his eyes, his lips, his chiselled chin. He felt stiff and unmoving like a stature beneath my touch, his vice like grip still holding me. I could feel my throat tighten, my hands still desperately trying to confirm the face my eyes wanted.
Echoing, running footsteps filled my ears.
"Mr Jeagerjaques! Mr Kurosaki!" It was Dr Inoue. I heard her hurry to my bedside, and the rough bandages returned to my face. I tried to push them away.
"Mr Kurosaki, stop!"
"I need to see him!" Grimmjow remained frozen. Dr Inoue flicked my frantic hands away, quickly tying the bandages back on.
When my lover finally spoke, it was monotone, robotic. "Why are his eyes like that?"
I heard a loud swallow, then a nervous cough. "Not only did he receive severe burns, but when the beam fell on his head, the nails protruding from the wood gouged both his eyes. He'll… Never be able to see again."
My heart pulsed painfully in my chest, a hard throb that wracked my entire body. I began to shake uncontrollably. Fear, anger, denial and dread mixed together in a dangerous, potent concoction.
"…Why?" I asked, to nobody in particular, my voice an almost inaudible croak. "WHY?" My mourning wail resonated off the walls, my sobs tearing through the room. I grabbed Grimmjow, hiccupping and wailing into his shoulder.
"I-I want to see you…"
I heard a pained sigh, the same sigh of pity I had heard earlier, and Dr Inoue left the room. "I'll leave you two alone."
My sobs still made me shudder, woe for my lost sight dulling my common sense. I did not care for the mutilation or harm to my body. I only wanted my vision to gaze into Grimmjow's endless blue eyes, those unfathomable depths that I knew deep inside held a love for me so intense that it was unbreakable.
His lips met mine in one more kiss, so full of sorrow that I could hardly bear it. For once in my life it was a sign of compassion from my Grimmjow that I wanted to stop. Tears flowed from both of us, his falling on my cheeks in heavy drops and mine stinging my unworking eyes.
All I wanted was to see him one last time.
Alone in the endless darkness that would stay with me forever more.
Hi guys, hope you liked this fanfic. Sorry for the whole depressing mood and all. Got the idea. Typed. Sad shit came out of my fingers. You get the picture.
Please review and tell me what you think!