A/N: I had no idea how hard it was to make a story like THIS. Seriously, they should make a guide book to this because this took me so many hours to begin even writing, I had to pull on short stops and go around looking through story after story to get an idea. If you see something similar about this story, it's because my inspirations are stories like; Dreaming of Sunshine an SINHEART.

I know you guys must be like 'oh, just a girl being reborn in the Naruto-universe', well, I have to say this is something totally different from the average girl being born in the Naruto-universe.

It's a GUY being reborn in the Naruto-universe. =)


Do you believe in reincarnation?

Me?

No, I don't. Well... not at first anyway, I still have hard times believing it. I believed—and I'm using this in past tense—when people die they either go up to see big pearly white gates where the good people go or they end up down where hellfire and devils with pitchforks wait to cook you. I tend to ignore people that go around saying crap like we live in some Godless universe or that when we die there's nothing waiting for us, just darkness and no more in the beyond and our bodies will be used a fertilizers to make trees and shit.

You all must be wondering, 'what is this guy going on about?', right?

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure myself. One minute I'm following my platoon somewhere in the backstreets of Ghazni, Afghanistan taking cover from the damn heat and the next I'm bleeding on the dirt road with my intestines halfway sticking out of my belly.

Fucking Taliban.

That's the last thing I think of as everything, the world around me, is blurred and meshed together like paint in my head, the sounds of gunfire and screaming young soldiers crying out for retribution of mine and many others deaths.

The rest is history and the story ends there.

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Except, it doesn't. Well, not my story anyway.

~o0o~

The first thing I notice when I, uh, wake up—if you can call it that—is that everything is just so... dark, wet and sticky.

Like you're swimming in Jell-O at night time.

Swimming in Jell-O naked at night time.

Various thoughts crossed me at the moment, one of the main thing being "what the fuck?" because really, who swims in Jell-O naked at night time? Disgusting, ew, gross, wtf, and the list goes on. And that's when I notice something else about my current predicament. I'm breathing even as I'm under this disgusting watery Jell-O feeling.

Not only that, I can't even see what's in front of me, everything is just too fucking pitch black dark and it's making me freak out. I struggle and I begin to feel that claustrophobic feeling, something I've never felt before because I don't mind being in small spaces, but the dark unknown place is making me panicky and I just have to get the fuck out!

"Ooh!" I hear someone moan in pain.

I come to a stand still, listening intently for that sound that came from somewhere outside of this dark place.

"彼はあまり周りに動いて...*"

A woman's voice faintly said from beyond the darkness, like a door or thin wall is muffling her voice. But that's not what got my attention.

It's her words, her accent, her way of talking that made me stop completely.

'What the...?'

"医者はすぐに出産すると述べた。*"

Another one, a man this time, speaking from behind the dark walls. I want to beat against the walls and scream that I'm here but my body, my own body that I've been using for the 32 years of my life, refuses to cooperate with me because the only thing I can do is just wave my arm a little and move my leg. Why? I have no idea, I'm not a medical expert to give a name for my condition, let alone have an answer of why I'm floating and breathing in a dark Jell-O pool!

And I don't even know why there's Japanese people rather than Army medics.

Out of frustration I kick my leg out, shivering at the feel of my foot pressing against something gross, like soft, slippery, fleshy.

"Oh!" came that woman's voice again, not soon after she gave a small laugh. "私のああ、彼は強くなるだろう!*"

And it was there an ugly revelation began to slither in my head, an answer to why I'm floating and breathing in a Jell-O pool of darkness, why my limbs weren't fully cooperating with me, why I couldn't scream and shout for help, why I was stuck in this place to begin with.

'No, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL, NO!'

I kicked again. HARD.

"Ah!" came the cry and it only fueled the awful panic attack.

"たぶん、あなたは今休むべきである。それはあなたが負担します。*" said the other voice.

"小さな一を傷つけること、ママに優しくしてください。*" the woman whimpers, but I'm lost in a frenzy of kicking. Wanting no more than to escape this prison that shouldn't be a prison. A prison I shouldn't even fucking be in to begin with!

I'm inside a woman's stomach. A pregnant woman's stomach.

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'LET ME OUT! LET ME THE FUCK OUT, RIGHT NOW!'

And like God answering a prayer, I felt everything begin to constrict around me and the Jell-O draining away until there was nothing left but me resting against the flesh walls. Oh God, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever felt since college, a part of my life I can't remember because of the stupid booze and horny chicks. Just when I think things can't get worse, I feel movement and I know without much doubt it's the woman carrying me.

She's rapidly talking in Japanese, sounding all panicky and batshit crazy. Good. Now she knows how I felt a few seconds ago. But then I remembered something very important as I feel the woman hurrying in her steps for somewhere with the man following.

I am—or should I say "was"?—a father myself. An ex-wife that I had previously been madly in love with gave birth to the two precious and most important things in my life; my baby girls. Sure, they looked a lot like their mom and sometimes acted like her, too but my God they were precious and so damn beautiful! Straying off the point here, I remember specifically that when my ex-wife was about to give birth, something really nasty happened.

She peed.

A fountain.

"The water broke!" she had cried, demanding we go to the hospital where they have given birth to our first born daughter.

And it happened again when we had our second walls around me constricted again, like a snake having a catch with its prey and strangling it to the point where the bones are being grinded to dust. Something was sucking me downward head first and it took me seconds to know what the fuck I've done.

The woman is going into labor.

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Oh, fuck me...


He's moving around so much...
The doctor said you would give birth soon.
Oh my, he's going to be strong!
Maybe you should rest now. It will strain you.
That hurts little one, please be gentle to mommy.