happily ever after

Summary: Homura prays for a miracle to keep Madoka from contracting with Kyubey. Simon the Digger promptly rips a hole in the universe. I think you can see where this is going.


"Madoka... no..."

Homura, badly injured, weakly and futilely tried to reach for her dearest friend, to stop her from contracting.

However, just before Kyubey could continue pushing Madoka to contract, he suddenly froze and looked to the sky.

"This aura... what on Earth...?"

A tear had begun to open in the sky, and through it emerged a robot in the shape of a head with appendages.

The cockpit was open, and in it sat a blue-haired man in a badass longcoat, and with red shades in the shape of a single five-pointed star.

"Incubator, your jackassery has escalated to the point that the universe itself cries out for me to set you straight! But first, I've got to deal with the goddamn unkillable upside-down lady!"

Walpurgisnact fired off an energy blast at Homura, intending to finish off the Magical Girl that had tried so fiercely to hurt it. However, the face-like robot intercepted the blast and, forming one of its arms into a drill, completely shattered the attack.

"I don't give a damn if God himself tolerates your shenanigans, LAGANN AND I WILL NOT!"

Then, turning and gingerly grabbing Homura, Lagann jumped, its legs extending uncoiling like springs as the mini-mecha rocketed towards Madoka and Kyubey.

Placing Homura on the ground, the pilot briefly lifted his glasses, allowing Madoka to see his face. With a big, but kind smile, he asked, "I can trust you to take care of your friend, right?"

Collecting herself again, Madoka quickly nodded and said, "U-um, right!"

"Say, what's your name?"

"M-Madoka. Madoka Kaname."

Closing his eyes with a small grin, the pilot seemed to chuckle to himself for a second. "Listen, I can tell you're a good kid, so don't let this space weasel bullshit you around, and you grant me one wish, okay?"

Surprised, Madoka asked, "Wha-? But, but I can't-"

With a thumbs-up, he exlaimed, "Of course you can! It's something that only you can do. Just believe in the Madoka Kaname... who believes in you!"

Then, after the pilot replaced his shades and closed the cockpit, Lagann turned to face Walpurgisnact and, with a passionate cry, leapt to battle.

The colossal Witch continued to fire energy blasts at Lagann, but it kept drilling right through them.

"It's useless, anomaly. No matter how hard you try, one with as little magic as you will never be able to even scratch Walpurgisnacht."

Picking up on Kyubey's telepathic broadcast, Lagann's pilot seemed to smirk as he delivered his rebuttal.

"Dumbass! I'll take down this weird chick, and on top of that, I'll stop the heat death of the universe too!"

"What you say is impossible."

Internally, however, Kyubey mused that if he could feel emotions, he would quite likely be experiencing fear.

This energy that he radiates... this power that defies reality itself... This creature... what is he?

Lagann turned both of its arms into drills, and tried to repeatedly pierce the Witch's nigh-unbreakable skin.

"Impossible? That's a load of crap! When faced with destruction or despair, a real hero spits in the face of both and forges his own destiny! Never giving up, going down a path chosen for the sake of all life! That's what it truly means to be a hero, to save the universe, and don't you forget it! I'M SIMON THE DIGGER! JUST WHO THE HELL... DO YOU THINK I AM?"

With that, Lagann leapt into the sky, retracting its legs in favor of a drill even bigger than its main body, before using rockets to slam into Walpurgisnact's chest. "LAGAAANN... IMPAAAACT!"

The force of the attack sent the Witch crashing into the street, knocking over several buildings and kicking up a massive cloud of dust and debris.

However, when it all settled, Homura and Madoka were both horrified to see that despite being knocked about, Walpurgisnacht was still undamaged, if a little dirty.

"It is as I told you before. You cannot hope to defeat Walpurgisnacht."

Simon paused for a second, before he grinned while completely shocking the three on the rooftop.

"So what you're saying is that I'm gonna need a bigger drill, right?"

Gobsmacked, the girls couldn't even reply to that, while Kyubey deigned the remark unworthy of a response.

As Lagann's eyes suddenly burst with a bright green energy, Simon fired a blast of the same energy into the tear in the sky, causing an even bigger mecha to fall from it - again in the form of a face with arms and legs, but this time it was more like the face was merely on the torso. Over the eyes were a pair of triangle-like sunglasses.

Lagann leapt into the air and once again used the Lagann Impact move, this time crashing down on where the other mecha's head would be.

"HERO OF THE MULTIVERSE COMBINING! GURREN LAGANN!"

In the resulting energy field, Lagann fit into place as the combined mecha's head, the heavily armored arms and legs extended until they were normal proportion to a well-built human, and Lagann suddenly got a cool helmet out of nowhere.

This time, the energy that Simon and his mecha were radiating was so great that Kyubey was actually affected, and this time he was afraid... afraid of that which he could not understand.

"W-where... where are you getting all this power from?"

"NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE SHEER FORCE OF HUMAN SPIRIT! Incubator, I'm going to show you... how a real hero..."

Here, he took off Gurren Lagann's shades and threw them at Walpurgisnact, making them duplicate and then hold it in place, spread-eagled, before finishing, "SAVES THE UNIVERSE!"

Suddenly, drills were sticking out of every spot on Gurren Lagann as Simon quietly said, "Finishing move."

Then, all of the drills retracted as Gurren Lagann raised a hand to the sky, before all of the previous drills emerged as one massive drill.

"GIIIIIGAAAAA!"

Then, it got even bigger as more drills spiked out of it, and it then started spinning at nearly the speed of sound as Gurren Lagann aimed it at Walpurgisnacht, using its other hand like a targeting reticle.

"DRIIIIIIIILLLL!"

Gurren Lagann then charged, its entire body spinning in the opposite direction as the drill, effectively becoming a rocket.

"BREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAK!"

Kyubey's aura detection sense was utterly blinded.

What is this? It's like staring into the heart of a blue star!

When the trio could see again, Gurren Lagann had landed on a distant rooftop on the other side of Mitakihara, kneeling as it reached out and caught its shades from behind with one hand.

Walpurgisnacht twitched for a few seconds with a gaping hole in its center, before it exploded leaving nothing left.

Whistling at the joy of a job well done, Gurren Lagann turned back to the building where Kyubey and the girls were, before ripping Lagann out and throwing it in their direction.

The mecha landed on a water tower above the group, at which point Simon popped out of the cockpit, and said, "One last thing before I go..."

Then, he punched Kyubey in the face with so much hot blood that it rewrote the entire race's hive mind and gave them the ability to feel emotions.

With an honest smile, he said, "I know that you're trying to save the universe and all that, but now you'll hopefully understand that you don't need to be a jerk about it."

As he went and hopped back into Lagann, Simon added, "You'd better learn your lesson between now and the spin-offs. Now then, I need to go see if that kid in Tokyo-3 needs a hand..."