As many die hard saints row fans including myself were upset with some aspects of the plot of Saints Row The Third, I decided to give my spin on the story writing to try to give some better life to the game. I heard about the rumours that Saints Row The Third was all a movie so I've incorporated the idea into my summary to try and allow the two things to stay in their own universe.
I am planning on doing forty five missions just like in the original game as I am planning on having three missions per chapter, I am planning to have fifteen chapters all together. Censoring has been done and music is included in some parts of the chapters which suggests to the readers that they listen to the songs whilst reading, but that is entirely optional. I've added in short profiles everytime one of the Saints are introduced and have a prominent role in the mission, just for anyone who hadn't played Saints Row The Third or are new to the series. Thanks to everyone who will be reading and commenting on my story, and I hope you all enjoy it!
The Third Street Saints sat by the bar of Purgatory, Zimos and Kinzie were at the bar getting drinks whilst the rest of the Saints stood around a television except for the Boss and Pierce, who sat on two small chairs in front of a large bright purple television. They were playing Saints Row The Third, and had reached the final mission; Gangstas In Space. The Boss had managed to kill Killbane with his character much to his delight, and the group of Saints stood as they watched the gripping cinematic that ended the game. Only it wasn't gripping; it wasn't spectacular in the slightest. Pierce had a huge grin on his face which was quickly wipped off as the Boss threw his Xbox controller onto the ground and showed his strong distaste for the game;
"The fuck was that Pierce?"
"That-Was genius! C'mon, people will eat that shit up-"
"Like an oversized purple dildo and a shark-gun?" Moaned Kinzie, who had returned to the gang with Zimos from the bar, and everyone grabbed their bottles, and Zimos began smoking his large bong.
"Kids love seeing that sort of shit! Nothing beats watching a shark jump out of the ground and eat a guy dressed as a pink cat!" Cried Pierce impatiently.
"Oh, we're selling out to kids now? Jesus, I didn't realise how worse we could get..." Asserted Shaundi, who simply shook her head and turned her back away from Pierce and towards the bar, and then went to change the station on the radio.
"It don't matter who we sell out to, what matters is where the money is!" Pierce continued to cry, looking at a huge pile of money near the main stripper pole in the room.
"Your fool...What matters is what the fans think of us! In the ring, you can take bribes from the other competitors and take a dive, but you lose your honour. Are we really going to take a dive in every fight?" Concluded Angel, who was shocked to the core with Pierce's view on becoming a sell-out.
"But..." Pierce asked, trying to think of another reason as to why Saints Row The Third was such a blockbuster, but was left lost for words.
"Pierce...The game was shit. The Saints are more than just flashy colours and big explosions; we're about heart, and the fans knew that when they saw Aisha and Carlos died in the second one. I'm putting Johnny back in charge of this stuff, he can go to Volition's Headquarters and try to reboot this game. Remind me to never listen to your plans again." The Boss decided, after looking to his second in command who gave him the calm and respectable wink.
"Fine...But when you guys want to make a movie; you know who to call!" Pierce whimpered, as he stood up satisfied with what he has heard, as the rest of the Saints began walking up the stairs to leave Purgatory. He began to hope that he would still be given another responsibility for the Saints in the media, but to no avail...
"Yeah...Chicken McFuckin' Ned!" The Boss shouted, remembering an old name that would inevitably annoy the shit out of one of his friends. Pierce gave up tryng to persuade his friends into listening to him, and the Saints left the Purgatory as they headed to Wardill Airport to take the first flight to Volition's Headquarters. The real Chicken Ned stood wielding his trust basebal bat watched the Saints enter the Airport from the other side of the motorway, and softly giggled to himself as he reminded himself about his plans to force the Saints to put him in Saints Row Fourever...
Act 1, Mission 1 When Good Heists Go Bad
The story of human history.
Since great immemorial, great leaders have risen from humble beginnings to…
And so it was with the Third Street Saints.
Since conquering Stilwater, the once small-time gang have evolved into a media empire.
A Saints Movie is in development.
Johnny Gat and Shaundi are pop-culture icons. And Pierce…
Well who gives a fuck about Pierce?
The point is, the Saints are on the world stage and every criminal organisation wants their crown.
It was only a matter of time before one of them took the fight to the Saints.
A group of street punks in a basketball park began beating up a lone black man dressed in a formal white suit with a bright purple half-buttoned shirt underneath, and the man tried to cover his face underneath his large white hat with his large bear-esque paws. The punks began kicking him in the legs and one drew out a knife, than proceeded to stab him in the guts. The man fell down onto the gorund, beaten and covered in blood and bruises, and tried to crawl away from his harassers, until an unmissable holy purple light shone onto the people below. The punks began running away in fright, whilst the lone man looked up at the purple glow that began calling his name, and a gigantic purple hand threw him a Saints Flow can towards him, then Pierce drank it and slowly started to feel it's effects. He ran after the punks in a insanely aggressive manner and floored each one of them, then took the knife from the one punk that had stabbed him earlier, and he then decapitated the punk. Pierce sat on the pile of corpses whilst playing with the head of the tortured punk, and then threw it away.
But of course, that wasn't real; Nobody could have been that epic, especially not Pierce of all people. The camera zoomed out of Josh Birk's IPhone and revealed the setting to have been an elevator. Pierce had once again made another Japanese commercial for Saints Flow, the Saints official energy drink. Pierce Washington had enjoyed the new easy life that he had found after the Third Street Saints's rise to glory; sleeping in different hotels with different models every night and then forgetting their names the next morning, flying to Japan to film the official 'Saints Flow' energy drink commercials and gambling away most of his money and then threatening the owners with a gun to get back his money was the biggest aspects of his life now. He couldn't help but enjoy the life of a rich young gangster, however many of his friends had different views on this lifestyle. The newest Saints recruit, Josh Birk, chuckled at the cheesy advert and exclaims;
"Japanese commercials, easiest money you could ever meet!"
He looked across the small elevator towards Johnny Gat and Shaundi, but they weren't impressed with the young actor's cocky behavior.
"Grand larceny's right up there. You ready for this?" Johnny questioned, as he handed Josh two 45 Shepherd pistols; as Josh being an actor and not a true gangster, didn't bother to bring his own despite believing that he was a true Saint.
"No worries, I do my own stunts!" Birk replied with a confident and slightly smuggish tone. However Shaundi wasn't amused with Birk's cockiness as she could easily see through it;
"Hey, you're just a ride-along man, so don't get all Hong Kong style in there…"
"I am a method actor; If I am going to play a Saint with any degree of emotional truth- I've gotta make it real"
The gangster's voice changers were activated, and all they needed was their leader, who entered the elevator dressed as a Johnny Gat mascot, all of his identity masked by his number two saint's mascot. Johnny and Shaundi then followed by hiding their identities with mascot heads, and Birk looked confusingly around as the Boss told him;
"Trust me Birk, it'll be real"
But Birk was still confused with the situation, as the Saints were embarking on a dangerous mission, and were strangely not preparing or trying to give themselves an advantage;
"You're robbing a bank-Dressed like yourselves?"
"Hell yeah, who doesn't want to be Johnny Gat?" Came the reply of the confident Johnny Gat, whose confidence in the field of gangbanging sounded more convincing to Shaundi, however Josh didn't care and continued to try and fit in, by joining in on Johnny's words;
"Ultra post-modernism: I love it!"
The elevator reached it's destination and the saints began to walk out of the elevator, with Birk enthusiastically leading them. Shaundi however looked to the Boss and questioned whether they actually needed Birk, who reassured her that he's just learning how to fit in but Shaundi however expressed her hopes that he "signed a waver…" The Boss looked out towards the large bank room and fired his assault rifle into the air, ordering people to get down. But as he gave his orders, Birk jumps onto a nearby table with his Shepherds aimed towards one of the bank clerks and exclaimed in a humourous yet sadistic tone, which was unusual for him;
"NOBODY MOVES-NOBODY DIES!"
"Birk!" Shouted Gat, who didn't want any problems for the heist as there was too much to lose, and he wasn't prepared to let Birk's cockiness cause a problem for the gang. Secretly however, Johnny hadn't been gangbanging for a very long time and the bank job was the closest to breaking this, and Johnny wanted to enjoy himself at doing what he does best in life, and didn't want someone like Josh to have ruined the fun for him.
"Sorry, jumped my line. Can we roll through that and do it again?" Josh enthusiastically asked, believing that the bank heist was like his TV show where if something didn't go as best as it could have, he could have just simply redone it without anyone asking questions. The Saints however, weren't prepared to deal with his ignorance to reality, and continued on with the bank heist.
"*Sigh* You all know the drill" The boss muttered, who began to realise that these heists and robberies weren't like what they used to be in the past in Stilwater.
All of the bank customers in an orderly cue began handing their money and valuables into bags that were protected by Johnny and Josh. One of the customers however, was ecstatic about being robbed by the Saints and asked for a picture with the boss, which to keep their fans happy, Shaundi and the Boss were happy to give. Birk, slightly bored and looking around, walked to an old bank clerk who wasn't helping to fill any bags with money, and he decided to aim his Shepherd at her, and taunts;
"Get in line bitch!"
"Birk! Back the fuck down!"
Came another aggressive order from Gat, as he was starting to get fed up with Josh's ignorance and cockiness, whilst secretly wanting to shoot something and do the bank heist like the saints used to do it when they were a street gang. Before Johnny could continue to think on this, Josh continued trying to prove himself;
"Come on Johnny, you call yourself a gangbanger? You and the saints are bunch of pussies! We should all be up in their sshit like-"
But before he could finish his lecture, the old lady aimed her own Shepherd at Birk and tried to shoot his head off as he swore in shock, but fortunately Johnny dragged him out of the way and onto the ground. The Boss and Shaundi joined the two as they all watched the clerks arm themselves with shotguns and Uzi's, as well as men in a strange uniform above run down the stars with assault rifles and more Uzi's. The Boss who was confused at all of the security adds;
The men reach the end of the stairs and begin firing their guns, causing the saints to fall back and hide behind one of the turned over desks. The Boss loads up his rifle and looks to his right hand who asks;
"You got a plan Boss, or are we just shooting all of these motherfuckers?"
"That is my plan!"
"Hahaha! Works for me!"
After a short briefing of the Boss's usual clever plan, Johnny swiftly rose and grabbed one of the strange men dressed in black and red. He then demanded to know where the vault is however the man was adamant to not tell Gat, causing Gat to question whether he "wants to play?" and threw him over an incredibly large distance into a horse statue. Shaundi gasped in amazement as Birk dropped his guns and the Boss joined Gat in shooting at the oncoming waves of goons. After Birk picked up his gun and Shaundi remembered the goons, the Saints murdered all of the waves of goons and headed up into the bank, searching for the vault.
After Birk failed to impress Shaundi by kicking a door open and falling backwards, Gat kicked it open in aggressive strength and shot more goons in a humorous fashion, causing Shaundi to blush as she walked over Birk before the Boss helped him up. However she quickly came back into reality and Josh began to question whether all of the Saints' bank heists were this hectic, causing Gat and Shaundi to express their disbelief that this was a normal bank, influencing the boss to later ask "Who the hell are we robbing?"
The Saints continued to push through the waves of goons and finally, they reached the vault and took off their mascot outfits. Whilst Josh asked for help from Shaundi in taking off his mascot hat because he "can't breathe", Gat examined the vault and concluded that there was "No way we cracking this thing" and asked if the Boss was "Ready for plan B?" to which the Boss happily nodded to and asked for Josh to come up to him. Birk turned around and allowed the Boss to look through the bag; before Birk asked if they are going to be drilling through the vault which caused Gat to scoff at the idea and revealed;
"Fuck no, we'll blow it!"
Josh was then terrified at the fact he was running around with explosives which he had no idea how to control, and the Boss grabbed one of them and announced;
"Time to get to work!"
The Saints then went to walk further through the bank, however upon passing the windows overlooking the ground level of the bank in which was where the Saints had entered the large area, Birk warned that there were more of the mysterious henchmen entering the bank armed with guns. The Saints began murderering the reinforcements whilst Josh attempted to reveal his undying and powerful feelings to Shaundi, who deduced that they were just pathetic small crushes;
"Shaundi...We need to talk..."
"We really don't..."
"It's just, if either of us die here, I don't want things to go...Unsaid..."
"I should be so lucky..."
"I'm serious, there is a lot I think we need to be open about!"
"Fine, but I'd feel better if we did it after all of this, so there is a small chance that one of us could die here before we have to go through all of this!"
"...That gives me something to look forward to! Come on then Josh, don't die here! You're Nyte Blade! Shaundi, you are such, a tease!"
"...Ugh, oh God..."
As the Saints walked upstairs to the final level of the bank, they walked further into the room, finding the point in the floor which was directly above the vault so they can airlift it out. Before the Boss could proceed with this, he saw a fan who asked for his signature, to which he happily delivered. Josh announced his presence to the fan with his usual cocky attitude and offered to give her a personal signature however she didn't accept the offer and walked away in disgust. The saints then rigged the floor with explosives and hit the floor to shield theirselves, except for Johnny who only needed an arm to shield his face because he wasn't scared of explosives, as he had a long history with explosives that made him slightly resistant to the aftershock.
The Boss and Shaundi then got up and looked at the vault which was in perfect condition to be airlifted and asked Shaundi to call for the helicopter. Josh, slowly getting up and eager to prove himself, noticed a button underneath a nearby bank desk and exclaimed that he has found the button to open the vault. Despite protests from Gat and the Boss, Birk pressed it and to his surprise, an alarm for the Stilwater PD went off. Shaundi angrily glared at him and questioned whether Josh really is stupid or if he just wanted to get the Saints "Jailtime". Josh grew upset at their fury over his stupidity, and decided to run away. Shaundi asked if she needed to go after him to calm him down, but Johnny dismissed the idea and decided that he'll be just fine.
The Boss, Shaundi and Johnny then waited for the airlift as they fought oncoming waves of SWAT teams. They all smiled at each other as they began to do what they did best and loved most; killing cops in a brutal form. The Saints returned to their usual gangbanging, and each one of them proudly shot at every single police officer that tried to stop them, with the Saints revealing their delight in what they were doing;
"Hahaha! Just like old times, huh Shaundi?"
Johnny shouted over the gunshots, as he drew out a knife and stabbed one of the SWAT team officers, who unfortunately for him, was very close by and was about to experience a painful death at the hands of the infamous Johnny Gat.
"It's been too long Johnny! I've missed this shit!"
Shaundi replied, smiling at Johnny's words whilst kicking one of the guards out of her way with the heel on her boots. The Boss was slightly enjoying what he was doing, however for a moment, he almost misfired his AK-47 at the guards, which caught the attention of Johnny and Shaundi. The Boss quickly recovered from this and managed to handle the gun again.
After a montage of Shaundi smashing her shotgun into a cop's balls, and Johnny brutally stabbing a SWAT member in the face, the Boss noticed the airlift in the sky, closing into the broken bank. Before he could start his escape with the vault, a strange red attack helicopter appeared out of nowhere and started firing on the trio. After Shaundi questioned who these people are, Gat decided that they were "a bunch of assholes" and followed the Boss in bringing it down with their guns. After it flew away, the Boss then linked the vault up to the airlift and ordered the pilot to start flying, and then ordered Gat and Shaundi to go out the back so he can give a distraction for their escape. The Boss then began to fly away with the vault until the same strange red attack helicopter returned and began shooting onto the Boss and the Vault. More SWAT teams swarmed the rooftop and a large fleet of helicopters began trying to shoot the Boss, however he calmly returned the fire against the cops and also against the red helicopter, which began to fly away again. The Boss grew even more pissed off, as he reloaded his gun, anticipating another wave of cops, then looked down towards the street whilst waiting. He was stunned to see another shootout taking place; Shaundi and Johnny were trying to escape the area but the police had blocked off all the paths with their cars, and the two Saints were stuck in the middle of an intersection between two roads, and they were fighting for their lives.
Shaundi still had ammunition in her AK-47, but Gat had ran out of bullets as usual and had to resort to his handgun. Shaundi was trying to show how strong of a fighter she was by jumping across the cars and knocking the cops out with the bottom of her rifle, whilst Gat simply knelt for cover behind an overturned cop car and fired against everything in his sight. However, Shaundi was quickly taken down by the Stilwater PD, and was pushed to the ground as the cops took her AK away from her whilst Gat continued the gunfight, adamant that he would win.
"Put down your weapon Mr Gat! The fight is over-You've lost! There is no way you can escape!"
"I live for this shit! It's never over!"
Johnny then jumped on top of the overturned police car and fired aggressively at the cops who had arrested Shaundi, however he quickly ran out of bullets and realised that he was in trouble. Most of the officers then stood with their arms crossed, waiting for Gat to turn himself over but he was still reluctant, and jumped onto one cop and tried to hold him hostage. He managed to take the officer's shotgun, but was severely shot in the spine and fell to the ground. He began trying to bring the cops around him down with him, but they knocked him out by stomping on his face, and the Boss shielded his eyes from watching his friends get beaten up.
The Boss's anger was fuelled even more when the Red Tornado returned, and crashed into the Skycrane, which forced the Vault to fall from the helicopter. The Boss quickly jumped onto one of the floors of the bank through a broken window whilst the vault fell in mid-air, and lay still on the ground for a split moment, and hordes of Stilwater's Finest dressed in protective armour surrounded him with their rifles aimed at his head. The Boss could barely breath at this point, let alone fight, and let out a very low mutter;
Mission 2 We're Free-Free Falling
After the police finished the Boss's criminal profile for their database, they threw him into a nearly empty cell where he was greeted by one of his strongest friends, Johnny Gat. He sat against the wall of the cell whilst looking at his red knuckles, and the Boss smashed onto the bars of the cell, showing his well-feared anger against the police of Stilwater, who he thought he had finally managed to gain control of.
"The f*** is this, we paid up this month!"
"Someone paid more…" Came the cryptic reply of one of the police officers, who obviously did not care about the Saints freedom as the money was too good for him.
The cell doors closed and the Boss then turned to Johnny, expecting him to join him by the bars and to start threatening the cops in every disgusting and inhumane way as possible; that was their style. But Gat stayed by the wall and continued looking at his knuckles. which stunned the Boss, causing him to sit by the defeated fighter, and they began to reveal their troubles whilst languishing in jail.
"You know...I think I'm getting too old for this shit Johnny...Too many bitches here, too many bullets there...But the worst is too many surprises. You sitting there quiet as fuck and not trying to tear the freaking bars of that celldoor apart is one of the biggest surprise I have ever seen...What's up with that?"
"Boss, you don't get it...You haven't gotten it for a long fuckin' time...Birk's right, we traded our d***s in for p***ies. Seriously, movie deals? Commercials? The Saint's name used to mean something more than body spray and some ass-tasting energy drink!"
The Boss was shocked with the words Johnny spoke out to him, and was sceptical to think that even he had become a sellout. He turned his head away from Johnny for a split second, and stretched his legs as he was about to stand up and walk away from Gat, but then decided to sit back down and continued their conversation.
"We need the money Johnny; we can't let soldiers like Carlos and Lin die again. The more money we get, the more power we get. The movies, commercials...And the body spray and energy drinks are just for the message; We are the Saints. And we're here to fucking stay! One day, with this shit going on, the whole world will know it and buy shit with our Goddamn mugs on it...We can't let anyone else die Johnny; Lin...Carlos...Aisha-"
Before the Boss could finish his speech, Johnny quickly got up on his feet and walked away from his leader, and looked out of the bars, trying to keep himself away from talking about his late wife. The very memory of her was just too painful for him to bear; what she looked like, what she sounded like, and how she died. And how Gat couldn't do anything...How it was up to his Boss to sort the shit out for him. The Boss realised that Johnny still had issues about what had happened with Aisha, and tried to reach out to him as he patted him on the shoulder. Gat turned his head towards him slightly, but then brought it back towards the light outside the cell.
"You knew that something was up a long time ago...The reasons why I didn't like going to the strip clubs, why I never listened to any of her music or even glanced at another fucking woman. Eesh was my girl, my girl...And she got fucked over by another guy. Yeah, he killed her, we know that, we watched it. But how do I know he didn't do anything else? He was probably in my fucking house for some time...How the fuck do I know what actually happened? How the fuck do I know!? How the fuck, can I sit here, and act like I'm fucking scared over being fucking arrested, and still go on in the fucking Saints, and carry on with fucking life, as if it's fucking-"
"Johnny! Calm down man, calm down...You've got to move on man, it's fucking killing you; Aisha would never want you to die because of something that happened to her...You've gotta move on with your life than this shit. Getting your kicks and spending most of your time killing cops and smashing faces isn't what you should be doing, I mean, it's great that you can do it and you like it...But there are other things in life..."
"Like getting a girl...Starting some shit up...Maybe even having a family one day..."
"Can you honestly see me with a fucking family!? I can't ever be a dad!"
"Why not? It'd always be nice to see a little Johnny Gat running around with water pistols...That had acid in them. The point is, you just gotta find the right girl to get your life on track...It'll help anybody."
"Will you Boss? A crazy pyschotic muthafucka just like you?"
"Maybe one day Johnny...Maybe one day, when all of this shit is sorted..."
As the two friends that had a bond nearly as strong as that of two brothers, they quickly rose from the ground as they heard the pleas of one of their friends; the cops were coming towards the cell with Shaundi, and they were harassing her badly. One was pushing her towards the ground as she tried to walk past the many cells of lonely and fucking sick bitches that got caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and the other three guards were hitting her across the shoulders with their nightsticks. The prisioners were roaring with delight at watching an innocent woman get beaten just for the amusement of seemingly good men, who were trying to work their lives to protect and serve...
"Let go of me!"
"Not so tough now, are you bitch!? You didn't even come to my son's birthday party! It was his eleventh birthday, and all he wanted was you!"
"Haha! Yeah Frank! And my girl just wanted her to style her hair and teach her how to suck cock like a pro! What a whore!"
"When I get my gun, I'm gonna shoot all of you in each of your tiny balls!"
"And until then bitch..."
All four cops then surrounded Shaundi and pushed her against the far wall of the corridor, right in front of the Boss and Johnny, and they each began rolling up the sleeves of their shirts. Before they could piss the Saints off anymore, the sounds of women's heels could be heard coming towards the cell doors. Each of the cops were quickly gunned down and Shaundi was freed from their torture, and quickly went to her friends on teh other side of the bars, trying to open it. The doors surprisingly opened and the rays of light were blocked by a woman wearing a black assassin-like uniform with pink sunglasses, and her taller twin with the same outfit except for white sunglasses followed through the door, with henchmen wearing the same suspicious red gang colour as on the Tornado. The woman with the white sunglasses started to smile towards Shaundi as if she understood her pain, and then looked as though she was about to reveal who she was, until her twin cut her off and announced;
"Good evening Saints. Our employer wishes to speak with you, and you will come with us, if you want to live..."
"That is, if you will be willing to quietly go with us?"Added the slightly kinder and taller twin, who didn't have as much of a serious and aggressive look as her sister.
The three looked towards each other angrily, unwilling to take help from the very people who got the Saints sent to Jail. However it was not an offer, and the goons pushed the Saints away from the cell, as they kept their mouths shut and looked at each other in confusion.
Hours later, black bags were took off the faces of the three Saints, and they discovered where they were; they were nailed to some chairs in a boardroom inside a plane that was actually flying in the air, and they were about to come face to face with the muthafucka who had organised all of this; Philippe Loren. He spoke in a French accent, and was as old as hell, and he tried to dress in a formal manner like the Boss with a red tie and scarf and grey suit, but he did not look at menacing as the Boss; at least, not to Johnny, but Shaundi knew that he was someone important and resourceful enough to have them killed, and the Boss didn't know what to think. The twins stood behind him in the exact same poses and looked happy to be listening to the old man. Before he could begin his introduction to the Saints, the Boss angrily asked;
"Do you have any idea who your f***ing with here?"
Mocked the old man as he sat and plays with a Johnny Gat bobblehead, slowly forcing it to walk and move as the old man wanted it to.
"A remarkable likeness indeed, these visions are Viola and Kiki and I am Philippe Loren; Chairman of the multinational organisation known as The Syndicate."
In a p***ed off tone, Shaundi professed that she had never heard of the gang, whilst Loren understood this by pointing out if the Saints did, they would not have robbed his bank. He began to taunt the Saints and revealed that his organisation was seemingly branching into Stilwater and offered to liberate their assets for their lives. After listening to Viola and Kiki whom explained the statistics for how much of the gang's property and empire would be owned by the Syndicate, the Boss began to lecture Loren in an aggressive tone;
"Listen you French f***!-"
"Please! I am Belgian!"
Came the sympathetic plea of the old fool, who thought that the saints would have bowed down to him and beg for their lives, and then form a civil partnership with the old man who had kidnapped them.
"So go and make yourself a f***ing waffle! We're done here…"
Added Gat who couldn't take any more of the Frenchman's nonsense, and turned his head away from the aggressive leader, showing a large amount of disgust in his face towards the criminal mastermind.
Loren sighed that he had hoped for a business arrangement, and ordered for one of the goons to kill the Saints. He began the order by aiming a pistol at Gat's head, who just chuckled and shook his head, declaring after remembering the many times he had been strapped to a chair;
"This is the last time I get strapped to a f***ing chair!"
And with that sentiment, he charged forward and the chair was somehow released from the plane's floor, and Gat tackled the goon onto the ground and snapped his neck. Loren moaned at the calamity, and stabbed Johnny in the gut with a knife, hoping that it would stop him. Shaundi laughed and noted that Gat's been stabbed by bigger knifes as Johnny pushed Loren into one of the plane's windows; which tore his face apart with glass and also decompressed the plane. After Johnny releases the Boss and Shaundi from their bonds, he took the knife out of his gut and threw it at the pilot who was wondering what was happening. They looked around the room and noticed that Loren and the twins were nowhere to be seen, and a large door in front of them was blocked off by waves of henchmen of the Syndicate. The Boss, Shaundi and Johnny hid behind the boardroom's desk for cover, and began to work on a plan.
Johnny suggested that he should fly the plane and that Shaundi should protect the Boss since he isn't used to a gun as much as they were. Annoyed with the comment, The Boss noted that he should just show them how it was done and parachute out of the plane together. Johnny laughed and noted that the plane was going to go down quickly and someone needed to stay behind and fly the plane. The Boss sighed and nodded as he patted Johnny's back, much to Shaundi's dismay as Gat jumped up and kicked one of the goons in the balls, taking his smg afterwards and started to cause his usual course of mayhem with it. Johnny slammed the door afterwards so that the Syndicate could not go after his friends, and also so no one could spoil Johnny's fun. After making his way to the cockpit, he picked up one of the goons's AK-47's and locked himself in the cockpit whilst speaking over the comms;
"Somebody get this f***ing door open! AARGH! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THERE YOU F***ING B****RD!"
Loren screamed, seething with both pain and anger, as his facial injury was extremely painful and he was very angry at how Johnny was still alive.
"Well I can see that some of our passengers are getting a little restless...Here's some relaxing music for your enjoyment!"
*We're Leaving Today by Paul Louis Reeves begins to play at this point in the plane, as part of the irony by Johnny.*
"Great...Who gave Gat a mic?"
The Boss jokingly questioned, whilst brushing himself off and Shaundi smirked upon hearing the music, liking her best friend's sadistic behavior in murdering people as well as the music.
The Boss and Shaundi then ran through the plane whilst taking some of the goon's pistols and arming themselves for a long trip back to Earth. The Boss started to call Gat on his phone, asking whether Johnny was ok and told him that they've found some parachutes; Johnny revealed he has taken control of the plane and that there was an army of Loren's thugs coming with the Frenchman himself leading them. Johnny also revealed that he was going to crash the plane towards the ocean but before the Boss and Shaundi could instruct him not to, the Boss's phone was mysteriously turned off by an unknown source. He questioned what has just happened and Shaundi noted that they probably lost the signal.
The Boss and Shaundi then fell out of the plane as the plane started flying towards the water; with Johnny clinging on to the controls and howling with the Syndicate's screams as they also fall out of the plane.
The Boss and Shaundi then continued to fall out of the plane, trying to avoid the crates, vehicles and other "s***" that also fell out of the plane. One of the goons however also fell out of the plane and grabbed onto the Boss, trying to attack him, causing Shaundi to fall further out of the sky and towards the city below screaming because only the Boss had a parachute. The Boss began attacking the henchman that had grabbed onto him, and repeatedly hit him with the end of his pistol and then finally, the man let go and accepted his oncoming death;
"That's right, don't f*** with the Saints. Now remember! It's not the fall that kills you...It's the landing! At least, you'll have plenty of time to think about your mistakes before you break your legs! Shaundi-Oh s***!"
More members of the Syndicate sky-dived for the Boss from above as they fired their weapons in flight against him, whilst he struggled to comprehend with the situation, but proceeded to fire his weapons against them. After a long fight between the Boss and the Syndicate henchmen whilst falling from the sky, the Boss shot his way through the cars and crates, and found Shaundi just in the nick of time. Furiously however, Shaundi clawed at his face with her hands and shouted;
"You're a f***ing asshole! Don't ever drop me again! Wait, where the hell is Johnny?"
As she questioned Gat's location and grew concern due to the Boss struggling to answer her questions, the camera fades. The Boss and Shaundi reached the land and started walking into the new city, as they saw the plane crash into the ocean, with Shaundi screaming that they need to go after Johnny. The Boss noted that Gat's probably parachuted out and that they needed to get into the city and find some guns, as well as figure out where the hell they were. The camera then focused on the Plane crash, with Philippe, Viola and Kiki emerging from the wreckage. Half of Loren's face was torn apart and the twin with the pink glasses had broken her arm. After lighting a cigarette, Loren told Viola to find a public phone and to call "Killbane and Miller". Whilst standing smoking his cigarette, he was shocked to see Gat emerging from the wreckage, most of his clothes burnt and his hair brought out of the comb. He began trying to taunt his enemy as he drew a pistol out of his pocket;
"F*** off you old French p***y...You ain't taking me out!"
"For the last time...I-AM-BELGIAN!"
"I don't give a s***, I'm still gonna kick your ass back to France!"
"No...No your not, I have a feeling that we are going to get along as you would say 'A house on fire', no?"
Johnny quickly fell to the ground as he dropped his pistol, and Philippe kicked him in the head, knocking him out. Johnny was seriously hurt, however this did not stop Loren examining him, who was walking around him and deciding something. Kiki then asked him what should they do with Gat, to which Loren then coldly replied;
"This one is strong, much like the Russian. Let's bring him back to the tower; After we cut out his tongue, I've got a plan for this disrespectful b***h!"
Mission 3 Welcome To Steelport
The boss and Shaundi walked through the slums of the city, with Shaundi informing the Boss that they were in Steelport which was "Kind of like Bangkok's abusive father". The Boss and Shaundi continued walking through the streets until the Boss's phone started to ring and he went to answer it, revealing the caller to be none other than Philippe Loren;
"You will have ninety six hours to hand yourselves in to me, if you have not turned yourselves in to Syndicate Tower by then, your friend will die. If you attack the Syndicate in any way, I will kill him, though, I may just do that anyway. Don't bother mourning or missing your friend, you will be joining him soon…"
"Fuck Him. We'll get Johnny back and there's nothing he can do about it" Shaundi exclaimed, furious with the Belgian/French/Whatever man's taunts though the Boss knew he had to cooperate with the sly coward as he didn't want any harm to be caused to Gat. He told Shaundi that the time would come when the Saints rescued Johnny, but they would have to wait for now until they figure out where they are and what to do.
After a disturbing scene in which a homeless man offered the Boss a free "Feel Boss" session, the Boss found a cash machine and began to feel better about the situation as he thought that once he got some money, he would be able to buy Johnny's freedom and save the Saints. He went to get some money but found the Saints's bank account to be empty. Confused and angry, the Boss shouted for answers, to which he received from an unknown woman;
"It must have been Miller. He's apart of the Syndicate, he's wiped out your account"
"Who the Fuck is this? And how can I here you?"
"Kinzie Kensington, I've hacked into your phone. And you're welcome by the way for me saving your life with the EMP on the plane which stopped Loren from calling for help-"
"Wait,that was you on the plane with my phone? That's MY private stuff!-"
"Look I don't have a lot of time so listen carefully. I'm on a ship near Burns Hill, the Deckers- Syndicate have kidnapped me and if you want my help in taking them down, you're gonna have to save me"
After the mysterious girl hung up, the Boss looked to Shaundi for her view on the idea, but she had already loaded up her pistol and questioned why they shouldn't since Kinzie saved them. The Boss agreed with this and quickly stole a nearby Neuron and was ready to drive off; the problem was that he had no idea where the hell he was going to. Shaundi looked at him disapprovingly and explained explained to him how to use GPS on his phone to find out where Burns Hill is. The Boss figured it out after a while, thanks to an embarrassed Shaundi and started driving towards Kinzie's location. The Boss asked Shaundi to call Pierce to bring some of the crew since they're low on guns;
"Shaundi, I know we're good with these pistols but we're gonna need the crew. We should call Pierce and have him bring some of the boys"
"Yeah I'll get onto that *Calls Pierce* Pierce we've got a problem-"
"You don't say? I was at my crib turning on my TV and all of a sudden there's talk about 'The Third Street Saints finally getting arrested!' And why the hell didn't you wait at the po-lice station where I could have bailed you out, I could have-"
"For Christ sake Pierce, we're in Steelport and we have to go raid some boat to kidnap a girl from a couple of guys who kidnapped her-Sending you the location" moaned the Boss, pissed at Pierce's whining as well as the difficult situation they were in.
"Uh…Ok, I'll head on over with the crew. And Shaundi?"
"Cover the Boss, he's a bit rusty with his piece"
"Oh I am so hanging up on you…" replied the Boss, sick of his crew believing he's lost his touch.
"Do you honestly think I don't know how to use one of these?"
"No, but since our deal with Ultor, all you've cared about is fancy hotels and silky clothing. With what happened in the plane, I was hoping you'd return to your usual psycho self-"
"I've never changed Shaundi. You'll see that once we get to that boat."
Finally after a long discussion, the Boss and Shaundi reached the shore of Burns Hill. They looked out and saw the large ship where Kinzie was and stole a nearby boat. Shaundi called Pierce to check on how he was doing and to make sure that he was coming, but Pierce noted that he'll be late. The Boss says that he's used to starting the party without him (Referring to Saints Seven). The Boss and Shaundi reached the bow of the ship and started killing the nearby gang members who were patrolling the ship. They were dressed in neon blue, with slicked hair and strange boots; and they all talked in British accents. They charged towards the Boss and Shaundi wielding strange smg's and one of them quickly ran into the Boss throwing a giant cyber-like sword onto him. He quickly got up and snapped his jaw, then pulled out his pistol and started doing what he did best.
"I know I've been out of the game for a while, but seriously; cyber guns! How the fuck did these little punks get guns from computer games?"
"The Syndicate are an international criminal organisation; they've probably dealt with secret organisations that work with that sort of stuff"
"Then why the hell haven't we worked with them? I want some of this tech! And seriously; neon blue and pink cyber clothing? That was so three years ago!"
"Er, let's focus on finding the fed!"
The Boss and Shaundi then reached the other end of the ship and started going underneath, into the bunkers. More of the punks jumped out of the crates and started firing at the Saints, but to no avail and were quickly shot in the head and balls. The Boss then grabbed one of them and threw her into the other whilst Shaundi killed them both with one blast from her shotgun. After a wise crack involving Shaundi and shotguns, the Boss heard one of the Deckers talking to Kinzie nearby so he went to investigate. The Decker saw him and aimed his cyber gun at him, warning him of the unknown technical pain that could be delivered, but Kinzie quickly rose up and slashed his neck open. He fell to the ground and took his gun, looking to an astonished Shaundi and the Boss, to which she simply says;
"What? He was getting on my nerves-I've been held in this ship for a damn long time and I'm sick of these hardasses!"
"Uh…Awesome?" replied the Boss who was secretly impressed with the quick thinking, though he had no idea how to respond to Kinzie's antisocial attitudes and views.
"They're all down there, let's be havin' them all killed!"
The saints heard the warnings of oncoming Deckers and realised that they're going to have to wait for Pierce. After a short montage of the Saints working their way to the surface of the ship, they ran out of ammo, and it was up the Boss to match the Decker's bullets with his fists. Shaundi then called for Pierce, demanding to know where the hell he is, but he calmly replied;
"You know me-I love to make an entrance!"
And on that note, a fleet of purple attack helicopters flew towards the ship and missiles were launched off the base of the ship, as it began to sink. The Deckers opened fire onto the helicopters, but they were all killed by Pierce's and the other Saints' machine guns. The Boss chuckled and shook his head, whilst Kinzie added in an unimpressed tone;
"Hel-lo? That idiot just blew up the front of the ship, we're going to sink with these corpses!"
"Relax Kinzie, you've got Saints protecting you now,"
"And that's all fine and dandy, but we've gotta go now because I don't like the looks of those power boats!"
Shaundi and the Boss looked into the distance as an oncoming array of power boats with blue stars on them were charging through the waters; obviously the Deckers weren't prepared to lose Kinzie yet. Pierce managed to get low enough to the ship for the three Saints members to get aboard his purple Vulture. Kinzie sat beside Pierce, impressed by the technology of the helicopter, implying that she has been held captive for a very long time. The boats were getting closer, and there were some blue tornados and vultures in the distance. The Boss told Pierce to stop chatting the girls up and to fly out to safety. The Boss then looked to Shaundi who somehow seemed to know Steelport better than anyone since Kinzie had been out of town for a long period of time. Shaundi wasn't sure however and just asked Pierce to fly around town so she could remember the places. The Boss sighed and was given an annihilator by one of the other saints, and asked Kinzie to give him a hand as she and Shaundi switched places so Shaundi had a better view on Steelport. Pierce flew through an industrial island, past a couple of casinos and towards a giant red tower whilst The Boss and Kinzie enthusiastically blew up all of the oncoming helicopters;
"You're really enjoying this aren't you?" asked the Boss to Kinzie, whose bloodlust and psychology reminded the Boss of his own.
"Huh, that obvious? They've trapped me in that damn ship for over four or five months and fed me like an animal. Do you know how hard it is not to be checking up on them with CCTV cameras, buying a gun online or even simply checking your enemy's facebook page?"
"I didn't think you were a sociable person to go on things like Facebook...And I guess it would be a pisstake…"
"Er-Yeah, a little!"
"Hold up, what the hell are those" questioned the boss as he saw an armada of airplanes coming.
"Shit, those cannot be the new AB Destroyer's I keep hearing about!" moaned Pierce.
"AB Destroyers? What the f*** are those and why are they shooting at us with machine guns?"
"I don't fucking know! I just heard they were some military planes that got built from…from-"
"From who Pierce?"
"Whoa whoa whoa pull up, that's my ex's apartment! Pull up here, maybe he's in!" shouted Shaundi in a dazed tone.
"Sh-Shaundi, what's wrong? You sound pretty weird" questioned Pierce in a confused tone.
"Pierce! Pierce we're cool man, you look scared as shit! Do you need some of this?"
"Need some of what-Whoa where the hell did you get that weed?"
"The other saints left it here when they made room for us…Man I'm really baked right now…Thank God they also gave me some Vodka! Where's my sombrero Pierce? Where's my fuckining- Hey, cool controls! Do those take us to Mars?"
"Sh-Shaundi for the love of God! You're gonna crash us to the ground!"
"Relax Pierce! You worry too much! Oh look flashy lights and fire! Heuston! We may have a problem! "
"Everyone bail the fuck out!" Ordered the Boss, who grew startled and angry at Shaundi's games
The Boss grabbed Shaundi and threw himself out of the helicopter with her, as Pierce and Kinzie also proceeded to do so. Fortunately for them, they were close to street level and landed on the top of the apartment Shaundi's ex lived in. The helicopter started flying off towards a nearby pylon that came crashing down and brought the flying AB Destroyer falling into the freeway. The four saints got up from the ground and they all looked at Shaundi who was completely out of her head, with the Boss noting;
"If that didn't happen, I'd be taking that weed off you right now!"
"Next time, you need to try some, or you'll end up as cranky as Pierce!"
Shaundi exclaimed, as she passed out afterwards, whilst nearly vomiting. Back in Stilwater, she never reached to be sick as she was used to scoring weed and drinking lots of alcohol but after wanting to prove herself in the gang, she tried to stop the addictions in order to show her high status in the Saints and that she could take care of herself. Sadly however, some of the Saints still questioned as to whether or not Shaundi could actually handle herself and tried to reveal this by giving her weed and alcohol. Sometimes like this, it would work whilst other times, Shaundi would be able to knock it back. Perhaps the stress of finding Johnny and taking down the Syndicate started to get to her, and she simply gave in to pressure.
"Alright people, let's make ourselves home!"
The boss announced as he picked the unconscious Shaundi up from the ground and started making his way into the apartment. She began to realise what she had done as she fell unconscious, as Kinzie and Pierce followed into the apartment with Pierce stunned by Shaundi's actions, believing that she had finally turned away completely from the alcohol and weed.
Like I said at the top of this chapter and the last one in an update, reviews and all kinds of feedback are what motivate me the most for a story. If I get a lot of reviews in the coming days, I'll try to write up the next chapter as soon as possible.