The Death of EA

Note: So yeah, my TF2/Left 4 Dead crossover is still on the way. This is just a little mini-fanfic I wrote in the meantime. I had fun, and I hope you guys do too.

On one side of the battlefield, the armies of EA gathered as their king stood before them, preparing for the charge. On the other side, Gabe Newell and Notch led the allegiance of Valve and Mojang, also preparing. Finally, EA rode out to the middle of the battlefield and shouted, "So, this is how it ends, Newell! In bloody combat! You still have this chance to back down!"

Gabe shook his head. "No chance, EA. You should never have killed Dead Space 3. Now our men will paint this field red with your blood!"

EA laughed. "Men? I see no men, only children and old men! If I did not know better, I might think it was Nintendo coming to challenge me!"

Notch began to speak as well. "Hell will welcome you with open arms, EA, for you are without morals, without soul!"

EA laughed again. "Soul? What do I need of a soul? The only thing that matters in this world is gold. And you must either embrace my way or die a poor man. There is no other way! There is-"

Suddenly, a trumpet sounded in the distance. EA looked, and to its horror, it saw a new army charging through the field, an army with an emblem of a small white box, no larger than a Rubik's Cubeā€¦

"The Ouya? No, it can't possibly be! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Their army was unprepared, and soon they all fell. EA was the last to go, with a spear embedded in his chest. As he breathed his last breath, Notch, Gabe, and Julie Uhrman, the head of the Ouya, gathered around. "You fools," he gasped. "The Ouya is doomed to fail."

Notch delivered the final blow, cutting off EA's head with one clean swipe. "Well, at least they tried," he said.

"VICTORY!" Gabe Newell shouted, and the armies rejoiced. "Now, onward to the kingdom of Activision!"

The real battle was just beginning.