Operation Midget-and-Giant

by She's a Star

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: I just had to write it!

Dedication: To Cop Crys (PepsiAngel), the Ginny Queen/Gildy Goddess. :)

Chapter One

Ginny Weasley didn't by any means consider herself beautiful.

For one thing, her hair was a shocking shade of red, the true trademark of a Weasley. Freckles spilled across her nose and cheeks with reckless abandon, contrasting wretchedly against almost frighteningly pale skin. And just to put the sprinkles on the cake, she had gone through a growth spurt over the last year and could now stare down at Ron without the help of high heels. Absolutely delightfully, Harry happened to be practically a head shorter than her brother.

So basically, she was as far away from a ravishing beauty as one could get without being so hideous she was positively gorgeous.

However, when she'd proclaimed this to her close friend, Hermione Granger, the house elf lovin' Head Girl hadn't exactly agreed.

"Virginia Leigh Weasley, don't you dare even talk like that about yourself!" Hermione had exclaimed, going red in annoyance at once. (Ginny couldn't even begin to imagine why...it wasn't as if she'd said it before. Well, perhaps once or twice. Or twelve times that week. But that was beside the point.) "You are beautiful, you just need to embrace it! I'd love to be as pretty as you are!"

"You'd be taller than Ron," Ginny reminded her dryly.

"Well," Hermione said in a tone of practiced nonchalance, "Perhaps not as tall..."

"I'm practically a foot taller than Harry," Ginny continued dismally.

"He'll get taller any time now!" Hermione attempted a smile and failed miserably.

"I'm a freak of nature," declared Ginny in a very firm and final tone. "Who will never be loved by anyone, and who will grow up to be a crazy old lady with lots of cats."

"Ginny, this is for your own sake," Hermione said, sounding as though she was trying very hard to refrain from tearing something to shreds. "Shut. Up."

Unbeknownst to them, a very similar conversation was taking place in the seventh year boys' dormitory. Ron, however, wasn't being quite as refined as Hermione.

"Harry, shut the bloody hell up or I'll take your eye out!" he threatened furiously.

"I'm almost a foot shorter than her, Ron!" Harry exclaimed. "There are second years taller than I am!"

"That's because she's a freak of nature!" Ron proclaimed. "Harry, there are actually halfway decent girls around here! Why dwell on Ginny?"

"You know," Harry said, green eyes sparkling deviously, "You're right, Ron. There are other girls. You fancy Hermione would go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

"Never mind, Ginny's good," Ron said at once. "Ginny's very very good. Statuesque beauty if there ever was one, there."

"Well, I'm too short!" Harry wailed. "She probably can't even see me! I'm some tiny little microscopic speck in her vision-"

Meanwhile, Ginny was in the girls' dormitory declaring to Hermione that Harry probably had to resist the urge to shout "How's the weather up there?!" every time he saw her.

This was enough for our obviously-destined-for-each-other pair.

"Aurgh!" Ron and Hermione happened to shout in exasperation at the same time. "You are impossible!"

Both stomped out of the dormitories at the same time, only to meet up with one another in the practically-deserted common room.

"I'm so sick of this!" the two declared in unison, both rather reddened from angry annoyance.

"So am I!" they agreed furiously, voices blending to perfection.

"We have to do something about this!" both Ron and Hermione proclaimed at the exact same moment.

"Would you stop that??!!" they ordered each other, the words escaping their mouths, surprise surprise, at the same time.

"You stop!" Ron and Hermione both commanded the other in unison.

The two fell silent for a moment, glaring at each other.

When both seemed to feel it was safe to speak, Hermione and Ron both opened their mouths.


They immediately fell silent once more.

"You talk first," they both said.

"FINE!" Hermione shouted at the top of her lungs before Ron could say anything.

"Don't talk," she warned him, waving a menacing finger at Ron. He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, and Hermione took a deep breath before beginning to speak again.

"Ginny's loved Harry since first year," she said logically. "And Harry has a new infatuation with Ginny-"

"Wait a second!" Ron cut in indignantly. "So Ginny's naturally 'in love', but Harry's just infatuated??"

"Well, male feelings tend to be more physical than emotional," Hermione declared at once, then flushed a shade of red to rival the Gryffindor decor when she realized what she'd said.

"So you're saying we can't care about anyone?" Ron asked angrily.

"No, I'm just saying-"

"Maybe guys just express their feelings with actions because they're not as marvelously coherent as you are."

"Ron, I'm sorry-"

"I'm not just 'infatuated' with..."

"With who, Ron?" Hermione asked in confusion.

Great, she thought bitterly. He's probably madly in love with some other stunningly pretty girl.

"Never mind," Ron said gruffly. "We're talking about Gin and Harry, remember?"

"Right," Hermione said in an all-business tone, wishing that her cheeks would fade from the burning scarlet that they'd flushed to. "Now, we have to set them up. I think I'll go mad if I have to listen to Ginny complain any longer, and I've heard you threatening to poke Harry's eyes out."

"I wasn't serious," Ron said defensively.

"That doesn't matter," Hermione said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "The point is, we have to set them up before the both of us are locked up in St. Mungo's."

"Sounds like a plan," Ron agreed sarcastically. "But Herm, you're forgetting something."

"Don't call me Herm," she ordered. "And what am I forgetting?"

"Well, Hermione," he said, dragging out her name, "My darling sister is practically two heads taller than Harry."

"Oh, Ron, honestly!" Hermione exclaimed. "Height doesn't matter."

"If you're sure," Ron said testily, "But I somehow can't see their first kiss being so very romantic if Ginny has to stand on her knees to kiss him."

"Hush up," Hermione instructed him, slapping his arm lightly. "We're getting them together, and that's that."