Originally posted in the Alopex Fansubs Forums. Specifically, in the Kaiketsu Zorori section. I stumbled upon an old topic that gave me nostalgia at the mention of "All That" and its skit "Know Your Stars". Look it up if you haven't known of it but I'm sure you 90s (or at least lived through it) people don't need to.


*camera zooms to Zorori sitting on a chair while announcer says*

Know Your Stars guy: Know your Stars... (x6)

Zorori...does not like girls very much

Zorori: Um, that's not true. One of my goals is to marry a princess. And last time I checked, princesses are "girls" *air quotes*! So, there.

Know Your Stars guy: Zorori...prefers to live alone.

Zorori: *increasing irritation*But, I just mentioned that I want to be married! I want to share my life with somebody one day. Mama is gone and dad is just up there in the sky, doing who knows what. So with that being said, I think we all know what I prefer.

Know Your Stars guy: Zorori...if not any woman he'll marry Gaon

Zorori: *blushes a bit* T-that...That's just preposterous! I, Zorori, would never marry, nor would I WANT to be with that...IDIOT (baka)! He's unfunny and does very bad oyaji gags...

Know Your Stars guy: But he's a prince. And one of your goals is to marry a prince.

Zorori: PRINCESS! I said that one of my goals is to marry a PRINCESS, not a PRINCE! You're getting all of this wrong. Once I find out where you are, I'm going to-

*Gaon suddenly runs towards Zorori, apparently off-camera for we never see where he came from*

Gaon: I knew you'd come to your senses...

*with a fangy smug on his face, Gaon sweeps Zorori off his seat*

Zorori: *with a shocked expression* Wait a minute, where are you taking me!

Know Your Stars guy: Now you know...Zorori.

Zorori: *while being carried off the center stage, away from the camera's sight* No, they do NOT know at all! I do not approve of these false facts! Gaon, put me down this instant! I'm not done talking here! Hello? HELLO!

*Zorori screams but it starts to get obscured by the sounds of applause made by fujoshis, fangirls, furries, otakus, Kouichi Yamadera and a bunch of Yutaka Haras*



That was...simple. I was trying to stay faithful to the more consistent version of that skit (where in which, only have three (wrong) facts said about the guest/person). And the announcer's voice more serious back then.

Anyway, please review.