I'm not sure how long we stayed on the train for or how far we travelled; it seemed limitless, watching the world go by, me and my problems becoming ever more distant. It was a good feeling, like taking a deep breath after having to hold it for so long. I felt more human the further away I got, and in truth I wanted to stay on that train and let it take me to a whole new world, but as I wished that Tobias stood and stretched and took a few steps back, smiling down at me.
He didn't smile at me like Uriah smiles at me. Uriah looks at me as if he's the winner of a magnificent prize he didn't expect to win and he doesn't even need to smile. He can say everything he needs to with his eyes, his beautiful eyes. But with Tobias, he can grin at me and make me wonder why, make me want to know what he is thinking to what he's about to do next.
So as he took a step back I got up and joined him, because I wanted to know what was going to happen next. And quite typically, he ran forward and leapt from the train, taking off running into the woods. I didn't even stop to think; the action was ingrained within me. I don't think of the consequences, just how it makes me feel at that time. I wanted to feel alive and so I jumped, and took off running after him.
It had been recently raining, and so running was much harder and messier, but I didn't mind, the smell was new and I just love the smell of the damp forest, most probably because it's the freshest smell I experience. It had turned night-time as we were travelling, and so it was treacherous trying to avoid the obstacles, but that's my new life, right?
I found Tobias in a clearing, looking up at the now moonlit sky. He was breathing heavy and sweating slightly, but he seemed relaxed and calm as if he too felt better for being away from that place. As I approached, he turned to look at me but he didn't smile. Instead he just stared, looking at me in the moonlight. The way he stared made my heart race and my palms sweat, but it also made me feel slightly uncomfortable.
I broke eye contact first and turned away, trying to take in our surroundings. We was surrounded by dense foliage and high trees. The trees swayed slightly in the evening breeze, flicking water down into our faces. It was a welcome feeling after running for so long and so I tipped my face up and closed my eyes, enjoying the spray.
"What are you doing?" I jumped slightly at the sudden break in the silence, not really expecting his voice to carry so clearly. I turned around to face him again, wiping my face. He looked confused but slightly amused at me, and I suddenly felt quite self-conscious.
"Just, you know, taking in the scenery" I didn't really want to talk about washing the sweat off my face to him.
"What, with your eyes closed?" He raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head slightly.
"It's better in my imagination" He laughed a little and came to stand next to me, throwing his arm round my shoulder. He did it in the way that Uriah and Zeke do it, as if we've been friends for eternity and he was leading me to play some sporting game.
"You do make me laugh, Tris. Come on, let's go sit, my legs are tired" He led me over to the middle of the clearing, where there were a few slated rocks set in a circle, as if it were made for little gatherings like ours.
I took off my jacket and laid it out onto one of the rocks and sat down, and Tobias followed suit. My mind went back to Uriah, thinking of how he would have liked it here. In truth, I would have liked him to be here as well, at least it would mean that we would be able to talk. Of course I felt guilty for being in a perfect little meadow with Tobias instead of Uriah; after all, little perfect things should be between me and my Uriah, not me and a fellow friend. But then I felt angry at myself for feeling guilty, I mean, Uriah wouldn't mind if it were me and Christina, or even Will. I just need to explain to Uriah that Tobias really is only a friend, in the way that Christina and I are. If he can accept that then I know I would be happier.
"You're thinking about him, aren't you?" Tobias wasn't looking at me, but instead at the floor, kicking at a little rock, his fingers fiddling with each other. "I brought you here so you could forget for a while, just relax a bit. You certainly don't seem relaxed".
I realised I was frowning, and so I tried to straighten my features out, trying to look slightly more relaxed. But then I sighed, causing Tobias to look up at me. His eyes seemed to be a little sad, and knowing I was the cause of that made my guilt increase even more.
"Tobias, just because I may be miles away from him, doesn't mean I can just stop thinking about him. I just want to make things right, between the two of us, I just don't know how. I just don't want to lose him over something so silly" And it was true, I didn't want to lose Uriah, and I knew that the longer I stayed with Tobias in the forest, the higher the chance that it might have to become a reality.
Tobias stared at me for a minute, and I was expecting him to get defensive and hurt, but instead he nodded at me and stood up. He started to pace around the rocks and my eyes followed him, curious to what he was going to do next. When he stopped pacing, he looked down at me and smiled, taking my hand and pulling me up.
"Well, we aren't going to fix anything by sitting here moping, are we?" And with that we took off again, through the forest and towards the train that would hopefully take me back to my Uriah.