Chapter 11: confession

The next morning, Mallory decided that Jake was right she did have to figure out her feelings but instead of feeling down she chose to be upbeat, she didn't know whether it was the unusual hot weather or the fact she had a day off. After she got dressed I her favourite shorts and best top, she went to get breakfast where the kitchen was empty for a change but she guessed that Jack was away to see Tim and that Amy and Ty were still away. She spent the rest of the morning reading her book on the steps of the house, by the lunch time came she realised that she hadn't seen Badger all day but soon figured that he might have went into town or with Jack. But when Jack got back he was alone.

" hey Jack here you, do you want some lunch" Mallory asked as she placed a cup of coffee in front of him trying to be extra sweet to him

" no that's okay, Mallory, but you can ask me whatever it is that you think I need buttering up for" he said as he saw right through her and secretly wondering if it had anything to do with last night

" it's nothing bad but did Badger go with you to see Tim?" she said while she sipped her homemade lemonade

" no he didn't but it is his day off too so maybe he spend the morning in his room doing art or drawing or whatever" he said as he went to the fridge and found some strawberries, trying not to look to closely at Mallory

" oh ok, yeah you're probably right, I mean schools starting soon" she said as she playing with the hem on her shorts

" why don't you go up and see him" he said beginning to get a little annoyed by her teenagery attitude

" yeah that's a good idea, thanks Jack" she said a bit brighter than before, as she began to drink of the last of her lemonade and head towards the barn

She said a quick hello to copper as she went by,she began to shout out his name but never received an answer she dismissed it thinking he was just napping. However when she into the loft she saw that all the draws and his wardrobe was empty she suddenly got a sickening feeling at the bottom of her stomach. She soon noticed that on the truck at the bottom of the bed was a picture of her that Badger drew and with it was a letter from.

She slowly picked it up and began to read, with every word she felt the tears well up in her eyes till they began to quickly escape from her eyes. Soon she fell to the ground next to the truck as she sobbed to herself covering her mouth with her hand, not knowing what to do she figured that he would be long gone by now meaning she would never find. And like that he was gone from her life yet again

" Mallory?! Are you up there?!" said a male voice as Mallory slowly began to awaken, soon being filled with hope

" Badger!" she said as she looked at the door eagerly waiting for him to walk through the door and tell her that he had changed his mind about leaving because how could he ever leave her again

" no it's me Jake, what's going on? you ok?" Jake said concerned for her as he took in her puffy red eyes and a newly set of tears falling down her face at the disappointment at seeing him

" it's Badger ... He's gone ...he's really gone" she said as she hugged her knees while handing Jake the letter from Badger, he began to read and soon understood her reaction to it hoping that this would help realise what she had to know

" Mal I'm so sorry ... What did he mean by ' I'm never to far away' or ' I can't play your mind games anymore" what mind games?" Jake said as he pondered to what the answer are and why Badger's letter felt so cryptic

" I don't know Jake I wish I did" she said a little annoyed but knew it wasn't meant to be directed towards but the person she was mad wasn't around

" but you know now right? Why you felt the way you did? This has shown you, hasn't it?" he begged her to understand what he was getting at

" Jake ... I ...don't know you're talking about" she said unsure about whether or not she should say out loud or not because that would be admitting he was really gone

" ok fine I'll explain it to you! But first give me your phone ( she handed it to him) I'll be right back" he said as he left the barn to make his mysterious phone call

For the next week it was the same, Mallory would vacantly work with the horses and watch sad movies like the notebook while talking to Jake. Till it was time for dinner which Jake always stayed for in order to make sure Mallory ate but occasionally checking his phone. Dinner lacked the Mallory chatter it usually had as a result of her barely speaking to anyone since that day. Once she was finished the dishes and Jake had left to go home she went to check on the horses for the night check. She was alway left with her thoughts as she feed and gave water to the horses, a million thoughts began to race to her brain none of them good. One night she was so deep in thought that she didn't hear someone come into the barn

"hi Mallory" said that someone as her heart skipped a beat at the sound of their voice as she start to turn and face them

" OH MY GOD! BADGER!" she screamed as she suddenly dropped the bucket of feed she was holding in her hand at the time, she then began to hurry and fill the bucket with some food and gave it to Harley

" glad to see me then" he said with a hint of saddened humour as he flashed that smile that made her knees go weak every time

" confused really I mean you said in your letter that you weren't back, that you fed up with me being indecisive and what was the word you used...oh yeah ...CONTROLLING!" she said as her voice began to raise as she felt herself realise all that built up anger

" When I wrote that I was hurt I mean I heard everything you said to Jake in the Barn that day,... I just wanted to run away" he said as he moved closer to her but she stepped back as he did so

" what changed" she said as she put her crossed her arms around her defensively as if his words had the power to physically hurt her

" the day after I left, Jake called me said I had to get my butt back as soon as I could because you were in pieces and that you had finally realised something and my being a way wasn't helping it or something" he said hoping she wouldn't notice the slip up he had made but her face told him that she did

" the day after you left? That was a WEEK ago, Badger! What took you so long?" she said as she felt her self fall apart all over again

" I was torn about whether it was a good idea or not but I decided that I didn't like knowing that you were in pain" he said as he tried so hard to make her see his side of things

" the pain that you caused, you mean" she said as she looked away from shaking her head in disgust at his words and how he thought that he could just walk back in here like nothing had happened

"I'm sorry I knew that shouldn't have come back" he said as he started to walk out of the barn into the sudden rain that had just began to pour down breaking the unbearable heat. Mallory went after him deciding not to let him go again

" then you go again, running away always running from something" she shouted at him trying to be heard over the rain as she followed him just he turned to face her in frustration

" what do you want from me Mallory huh? " he shouted back partly due to the rain and partly due to the anger she caused him sometime, he could never fully figure her out

" don't you get it? I mean Jake thought I was slow in find out but come on!" she said as she made a wide arm gesture show her frustration at him"

" what are you talking about Mallory?" he asked hoping she would give him a honest answer rather be so mysterious all the time

" the reason I'm scared of my feelings for you is because I'm scared that when I tell you, you'll just away because you're frighten of them. I need to know that you'll stay even after I tell the truth, I mean that bad feeling I get is fear of you running ... But you know what you ran Badger! And you're going to run again so I'll tell anyway what difference will it make... I love you Badger, I love you!" she shouted at him as she babbled till she realised that she just confessed her fears to him as well as her love

Badger stood for a while trying to take her words in but when they finally did, he walked up to her closing the space between then. As he was close to her, he grabbed her face gently and kissed with such intensity and passion she was overwhelmed and soon she kissed back with the same amount of feeling mixed with extra longing

" I love you too, Mallory" Badger whispered when they finally stopped kissing as they leaned on each others fore heads

( just wanted to say a big thank to kitty8998 who encouraged me write this and has always reviewed each chapter and help me out with it and supported me! :) also to meetmsrandonpickels who was also supportive towards me. And to anyone who reviewed my story, it's a massive help and I hope you've enjoyed it :) :)