I am reading Brewdening Love, one of the My Immortal like fics by Erin –Of-The-Cullen-Clan. As I Twilight fan, this story makes sane Twilight fans look like Twitards.

I see this as a companion fic to my Twilight Reads 'Brewdening Love' series.

Note: I am a Twi-hard, but Twi-haters are welcome to read and review.

Hope you stay with me through this

Sample- Erin's slop

Sample-My Words

Sample- My Randomness

Sample-How I wish things could have gone instead


Chapter One: Genesis (Like the first book in the Old Testament in the Bible?)

Erin: ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! (I am a Twilight fan too, but not as much as I was when I really got into it) I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT (Edward may be good looking, but there is more to him then looks). So hot. ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella (Self-insertion?)1 Because shes a dirte bithc (Bella is not like that. You are just like the author of Forbiden Fruit: Wanting to demonize Bella so your compete and total Mary Sues can be with Edward)so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo

I walked into the room and HE waz siting over by the coner of my english class, prefectly sitting by the corner in a desk (Copying Twilight much, but instead it is English class?). I thought he was a god (Erin: not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars (Sorry to contradict you, but if you are a real Christian, there is only one God. Of course, it is another term for perfect. As a real Christian, you wouldn't say the 'f' word)) becoz he looked so darmn hot, like that guy who used to be on Smalvile befor he got fat so now I watch supernatural becoz fat man is always in my head now (He is not fat).

I giglied when he lookd at mwah and Edwards looked away seeming to snarlingly (It is because he likes Bella). I flacked my long brown hare hoppping to git his atention. I hav long brown hair that reatches my btomm, in a smooth long thing with a hairclip and such (We didn't need that much detail, sweetie). I have hotr eyeliner with lots of blue mascara becoz it goes with moi eyes you see becoz they are blu. and i'm wearing a loose wite blows (A blouse, you mean)with a cute leather belt and a long black skirt becoz its sexy but not whory and its a sin to be a whor tunles ur Mary Magdalin, but shes daed anyway.

Edward looked back to me and loked away agin (He is probably hoping you get away). It was rood and I farroed my brow confusedly at hymn, but decided but hes sex-ah so Ill let him get away with it (You just like Edward for his looks) (The Lord teeches us to forgave (Honey, God wants us forgive EVERYONE. Not just hot people)).

I walked over, with evry eye on the room on me because Im so darmn H-O-T (Mary Sue alert!) (I've been told this mnay times so I know it is true( and i sit on his desk and he looks up and has bronze eyes that are sexy in a brewding way (erin: FORSHADOWING! He is brewdy but if you havnt reed the boks you'd already no that (How lame!)!)

He looks up to me and I look dwn to him loking up to me. He then speaks, in a quiet brewding voice.

"Who are you?" he aks and why are you on my desk? (See, he just wants Bella)

So i winks at him and tell him he's cute, but then class starts and i sit down and watch him (Hey, your grades are important).

He is so hot and I dcide want to be his boyfriend (Girl friend, you mean. How shallow are you? You are not a true Christian like you say you are). He looks at me and turns away agin.

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So yeeeeeeeah thats my storie tell me what you hink with your revieows! so glad to have writing it i'm happi ass now! GOD LOVES YOU ALL! XOXOXOXOXO! :3


This is the first chapter and I feel as if my IQ dropped o.5 points.