My Ain True Love

By Jen

Based off of the story of Cold Mountain. The United States is now at war with each other. War consumes man, it hurts, it pains and it's act of violence on earth's humans that can and will destroy us. War tears friends and families a part. It will bring some close and divide others. In war history is made, heroes and legends are born. But in this story there is no hero just one man fighting to get home back to the one he loves and yet barely knows.

Rated M


Ada Monroe will be Buffy Summers

Inman will be Angel Liam O'Brien

Ruby Thewes will be Cordelia Chase

Stobrod Thewes will be The Whistler

Reverend Veasey will be William aka Spike

Sara will be Faith

Reverend Monroe will be Giles and Buffy's father

Sally Swanger will be Willow

Esco Swanger will be Xander

Georgia will be Doyle

Teague will be Riley Finn

Pangle will be Oz

Lindsey McDonald will be part of Riley's home guard

I do not own anything all characters belong to Joss Whedon and Charles Frazier. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 1 The Red War

You'll walk unscathed through musket fire
No ploughman's blade will cut thee down
No cutlass wound will mark thy face
And you will be my ain true love
And you will be my ain true love

And as you walk through death's dark veil
The cannon's thunder can't prevail
And those who hunt thee down will fail
And you will be my ain true love
And you will be my ain true love

Asleep inside the cannon's mouth
The captain cries, 'here comes the rout!'
They'll seek to find me north and south
I've gone to find my ain true love

The field is cut and bleeds to red
The cannon balls fly 'round my head
The infirmary man may count me dead
When I've gone to find my ain true love
I've gone to find my ain true love

The field was quiet and the air was hot as they were in the dead of summer. This nation was under attack by itself. It was being crumbled to the ground by its own people. Brothers were against brothers, families were divided and torn. This war has lasted three years and the South has yet to give in. Money was scarce and food was low. A man young at the age of twenty six sat on the earth he was tired and hungry. He's been fighting this war for so long now he almost knows of nothing else. He's seen blood, he's taken many lives and he carries a heavy heart. He holds a book in his hands it was almost in pieces now but it was home it was a piece of home he could touch. In the book as page marker was a picture, a picture he often gazes at. He gazes at it trying to feel her again, to remember and his heart ached for her every day. He can remember her long blonde locks those green eyes and that smile.

'"My dear Angel, I began by counting the days, then the months. I don't count on anything anymore except the hope that you will return, and the silent fear that in the years since we saw each other, this war, this awful war, will have changed us both beyond all reckoning."' Somehow he could hear her sweet voice one of the few things that kept him going. He closes the book and wraps it up to read it later. He's read it more times than he can count. It spoke about Cold Mountain so it kept hope alive and it allowed him to remember her that much more. Once the book is safe in his belt he grabs his musket without it he was nothing but a mortal man. The men around him look worn and tired this war that was supposed to be a month has taken its toll on them on this nation.

Angel sits there and hears the chattering of the soldiers about home and he looks across the way seeing a young boy no more than fifteen he was finally here to fight. This boy comes from the same town as him he was twelve when Angel left now he was fifteen time was both wonderful and cruel. He looks scared and broken he's seen horrors that should never be seen by a good human.

"This one is far from home," A man says as he passes the boy Angel was far from home too. Home was where she was in her arms holding her. They only held each other for a few seconds at a time but in her arms it was paradise it was as close to heaven as he'll ever feel. A cart is rolling by with clothes and men take them to replace them with their own worn clothes.

"Why don't them Yanks just attack?" A man asked they've been sitting in this trench for days now waiting. Angel just sits there and his mind begins to wonder off back to the warm days to a little tiny town in place called Cold Mountain but it was anything but cold. '"I think now on the fleeting moments between us and wish I could repair them. My awkward nature, the things left unsaid."' He could her voice as if it was guiding him. But unknown to this Southern army the Yankees were plotting as they planted powered explosives under the slumbering army. Once everything was in place the few soldiers ran and the Union army across the field waited. Angel the reaches for his book again wanted to look at her again so he would never forget her beautiful face.

"That old book of yours is in shreds," A man told Angel as he tucked it away.

"Same as us, seen too much war," Angel commented but he wasn't going to part with that book anytime soon. She gave it to him and it's all he had to hold from her.

"Hey, Oakley," The man said to the young boy. The boy was on edge holding his musket ready to fight always looking to see if the Yanks were coming. "Don't worry on, them Yankee boys keep store hours and they ain't open yet." Some of the men laugh it was needed. Angel stretched knowing a fight was coming once the sun rises. Then there was commotion down the way.

"Hey, where'd you come from?" A man asked as a small rabbit hopped his way over. "Hey, that's fresh breakfast," Now some men got up fighting to get the small rabbit as slipped between their fingers.

"He's mine, Butcher!" Another man called out and Angel watched in some amusement. "Hey! Hey! Get away!"

"Hey, I saw him first. Come on!" And the men grown men chased after the small creature for food.

"I saw it first! That's my rabbit! That's my rabbit!" A man calls out claiming it but no one could catch it.

"Get your paws off my rabbit! Get your paws off my rabbit!" Angel smiled as the rabbit was now close to him. Angel leans over and picks up the rabbit. He was so hungry too that this would make a meal but a part of him didn't want to kill the creature. But just as the fun moment lasted it ended. There was a rock in the ground and Angel watched a just a few feet from him the ground rose high into the sky. It took Angel a moment to realize they were under attack and he reached for his musket. This was it the Battle of Petersburg somehow everyone knew this was going to be a huge battle and many on both sides were going to lose their lives. But as the ground crumbled Angel thought back to three years ago on one faithful day in the sun.

Three Years Ago

A young woman sat in a carriage with her beloved father they've been together since her birth when her mother died. It was always just these two. She loved her father but his health was at a questionable state these days. Giles Summers a holy man uprooted his daughter from Charleston to this new town. They needed a Pastor for the new church so happened to work. This was once a farming town but it was ever growing. Buffy Summers was this young woman's name. It was a strange name a name she often was teased about in her younger days. But now at eighteen she blossomed into a beautiful woman with long blonde hair, fair skin, green eyes and a shapely figure to get any man's attention. She was smart her father had her go to school and she knew three languages including English. But she was afraid of this town she still felt awkward and out of place but to leave Charleston a place of cotton and slavery she was happier.

The little carriage made its way to the site of the new church as it was still being built. Some of the town's men were up in the roof getting it together. Angel worked slightly alone as he hammered in a nail and looked up seeing the carriage making its way here.

"What do you fools think you'll be fightin' for?" A man asked to get a conversation going and some smiled. "The South?"

"I call this nail Northern Aggression," One man said and nailed it into the wood.

"Damn right, I call this nail a Yankee Skull," Another man joined in on the fun.

"Last time I checked, the South was a direction," Angel muttered war was the last thing on his mind he didn't want it. All Angel wanted was to find a wife, have children and a home.

"Never figured you for a Lincoln lover Angel," A man slapped Angel lightly on the back as Angel continued to work.

"I tell you, as soon as I finish this chapel," Angel shot back letting a slight grin cross his face and the carriage got closer. Why was his heart pounding it was pounding so hard right now and he had no idea who was in it.

"I'm gonna go off and kill me some Yankees," A man continued on. "Piss and vinegar,"

"Fightin' for a rich man's slave, that's what," Angel then blocked out the conversation he didn't want any part in it.

"Whoa, here comes the minister," A man spoke up and the men stopped working and looked up as the carriage came to a stop and an older gentleman came out.

"Ben, thank you. Will you assist my daughter?" Giles asked and a man held out his hand and Buffy took it as she got out slowly and then linked arms with her father. The pair then strolled up the hill side to the new church.

"Lord have mercy, look at that bonnet," A man called out and the men all looked to the woman walking clad all in white like an angel sent from the heavens.

"Look what's in it," A young boy pointed out because he got a glimpse of her face in the sun.

"Oakley, hand me the hammer, boy," Angel jumped in he didn't see the woman's face but his heart was pounding beating a mile a minute as the new pastor and his daughter were stopped at a table and even closer.

"That's a true Southern belle," An older man working on the church stated and Angel continued to watch her every move knowing he should get to work. He managed to look away a woman like that wouldn't want a farm boy.

"Mister Xander Harris! Good morning to you," Giles waved to the man. He was young but from a farming accident he lost his foot.

"Morning reverend," Xander answered back coming to the table with drinks being filled for the workers.

"Xander, you remember my daughter, Buffy?" Giles asked and Xander smiled as Buffy removed her hat. It was too hot for it and she set it aside.

"Miss Summers," Xander tipped his hat and a red head walked over. Everyone exchanged a good morning even though the sun was reaching noon very soon.

"Excellent progress," Giles looked to the church that was looking like a church and not a skeleton. "Mrs. Harris, Mrs. Burkel," He acknowledge two more women as he looked to his new church. "Now, if y'all will excuse me, in Charleston, my congregation would still be disputing the size of the windows," Giles sounded a little worried as he walked over to church with Xander following on a cane.

"It's a chapel," Xander assured him as they walked closer to church leaving Buffy at the table with the woman. She felt so out of place. She was all dressed up and these women were in their farming clothes. She was also nervous because every man building the church had their eyes on her. She never thought she was beautiful or even pretty just plain so maybe they were commenting on her awkwardness. That would never win a man's heart beauty did.

"Miss Summers, I was just thinkin' about you, Cold Mountain must feel like the end of the world." Willow said smiling and Buffy shook her head no.

"Not at all, it's very beautiful." Buffy stated looking around the open space. She's never lived in the country so it was new to her.

"Well, you put us all to shame; men up here had a bearing on what they thought a woman was." Willow smiled and Buffy's face started to turn red and it was much more noticeable against her faint complexion. "And then you showed up. " Willow teased. Buffy thought she was young to be married and let alone have two sons.

"Oh no I doubt that." Buffy was trying to be polite and honest why would these men be interested in her.

"Oh believe me," Willow assured the blonde. "If you was to say a word to one of these fools, I could get my top field cleared."

"Any one?" Buffy asked she liked to take challenges while she was awkward around men it made it easy because they wouldn't talk to her anyways at the end of the day.

"No um," Willow looked trying to find the one Buffy needed to talk to. "Him in particular, up in the rafters." Willow shielded her eyes pointing to a man and Buffy looked up seeing the man from a distances. Angel looked over he made eye contact with her and she quickly turned away her heart started to race. "Won't normally say boo to a goose. he's been pressin' me since the day you arrived here." Willow smiled and Buffy smiled back. She then reached for the tray of drinks.

"Your top field cleared?" Buffy asked remembering what the challenge was.

"That's right." Willow answered smiling. Buffy then walked over to the building holding the tray of cider and she tried to stay calm as she looked for the man Willow pointed out. She then found him and he found her. Angel climbed down a little to get a better look and she was absolutely stunning. Buffy then stood there looking up.

"Morning, I'm Buffy, Buffy Summers." She introduced herself trying to keep it together.

"Angel," He introduced himself looking down fighting a smile looking at her trying to remember everything thinking this would be the first and last time he'll ever gaze upon her again.

"Angel," Buffy repeated oh that name it suited him he looked like an angel he was very well beautiful.

"Angel Liam O'Brien," Angel gave his full name to a woman something he hasn't done ever.

"Angel Liam O'Brien." Buffy repeated smiling a little.

"Repeatin' a thing doesn't improve it, people call me Angel." And Buffy felt a little embarrassed she always seemed to manage to screw something good up.

"How 'bout that? Angel speaks." A man smiled and all the men looked at him smiling not only was he speaking he was speaking to a woman.

"If you were to take a glass of cider, your friends might stop staring Angel." Buffy was getting uncomfortable now hoping Angel would come down. Angel started to make his way down from the roof and to the ground and stood before her. He was tall and even more handsome up close. Buffy kept herself from shaking as she held the tray of drinks. Angel then reached for a glass of cider and sipped it.

"And what do you do?" Buffy asked trying to keep the conversion going.

"I work wood." Angel answered sipping the liquid and Buffy nodded keeping herself as steady as possible. "Hunt but mostly work wood." Angel said and Buffy nodded.

"Clear fields?" Buffy asked and Angel nodded.

"I can clear a field." Angel answered and finished the cider staring at Buffy and had to remember to breathe. His brown eyes almost seemed to be looking passed her into her soul. She didn't want to take her gaze away from him a strange feeling took over as if she was safe and sound right now.

"Was there something in particular you wished to say to me?" She asked hoping he would say something. Angel stood there thinking there was a lot he wanted to say of course like how beautiful she was or how he wanted to ask her to join him for dinner or a horseback ride but the stupidest thing came out of his mouth.

"Not that comes to me." He now cursed himself for saying that and set the drink back on the tray thinking she'll never come looking for him again. "I'll say thank you for the cider." And he turned away to afraid to look at her as he climbed back up the building to finish his work. Buffy stood there feeling stupid why a man like that ever want her besides he's probably married or engaged. Buffy sighed and headed back to the table where Willow was and Angel watched her every move. Something took over him and he vowed to look out for her.


The memory was gone as Angel dug himself out of the dirt. Once he was out all he saw was Hell red and orange smoke everywhere. Angel laid there on the charred ground and then saw Buffy's picture and he reached for it to save it. The men that wanted a rabbit for breakfast were dead. The air was full of smoke it choked you. Angel then heard screaming it was death. He looked around the ground trying to find a weapon and found a gun and ran to the screams. He then came to what was like a crater in the ground looking down as men mixed in there fighting.

"Move back! Go back! Move back!" A man yelled as Angel looked down into the pit and took a few steps back doing as he was told. "Go back! Go back!" Angel backed away a little more and held up his gun as the Union army was climbing up the side of the hole.

"They're trapped in the wrong damn crater. Whole plan backfired on 'em. Send them Yanks straight to hell!" And the Confederate army aimed their weapons down into the pit and Angel held his weapon to the men. Every time he pulled the trigger he felt like a small part of him was dying. He never wanted the fight and to kill his fellow man. He just stood there aiming watching as these men died. He looked around as the place was covered in smoke and the air was filled with cries of pain. Some men were crawling out and Angel was going to save himself above all else so he pulled the trigger firing.

"It's a turkey shoot, they've run themselves into a hole. Hell's busted!" A man yelled but even with the firing the Yankees were still climbing and firing too. Angel reloaded the weapon and fired back. The young boy Oakley cheered as he shot away but he was young and stupid and didn't see a soldier in time and the solider reached out and grabbed his foot. Angel saw the young boy get dragged in. Angel felt a need to protect this young man and so he raced to his aid.

"Oakley! Oakley! Oakley!" Angel called as the young boy went into the pit of Hell. Angel then jumped in risking his own life. Angel made it in and the site before him was earth shattering. Brother against brother a black man fighting a Native. Angel looked around as men fell to their death. Angel held his weapon shooting at any one who posed a threat to hurt him. Then Angel heard his name being called.

"Angel! Angel!" Angel turned to the direction and saw the boy getting trampled on like a bug. Angel fought his way to him punching any man Yankee or not.

"Oakley! Oakley!" Angel fought his way to the boy. A Yankee then came after Angel and Angel blocked the punch and grabbed his head and with a forceful twist upwards the man's neck snapped like a twig. Angel then drew his weapon and fired at a man causing him to fall to his death. Another Yankee came running at Angel and Angel shot him at point blanket and he was gone.

"Angel!" The boy yelled in pain and Angel was ever closer and another man came charging and Angel went to fire but he was out of bullets and Angel flipped the gun around holding it by the barrel and slammed the butt end to the man's face. The man's face turned red and he fell to the ground. Angel then took out a knife and stabbed another man in the chest and continued to fight his way to the boy. Then someone grabbed Angel from behind and with a quick move Angel elbowed the man in the stomach, grabbed his arm and threw him over his shoulder and with his knife stabbed him in the heart. Angel then ran to the boy and was finally there.

"I've got you." Angel said grabbing the boy in the sea of dead men mixed with dirt, sweat and blood. He managed to get the boy to the side of the wall and they started to climb up. Then Angel saw a man charging after him and he needed a weapon as the man was ready to fire. Angel then saw a dead solider next to him and grabbed the abounded weapon and fired at the man.

Angel held out his gun and fired again and then started to drag the boy up the side of the crater. Oakley was wounded and badly. Angel climbed up the side made of dirt holding the boy. Finally they were somewhat safe. Angel threw Oakley to the ground and then looked back seeing the fighting continued as the line between Union and Confederate soldier blurred. It was truly a horrible day a day that has been burned into Angel's memory and will forever stay with him, day in this country's history that we'll always remember forever a dark day with nothing to be proud of.

The Battle of Petersburg was over and the clean up began. To burry your friends was the worse you could do. Angel looked around as many of these men's hearts and souls were shaken. He walked along side Oakley who was in a makeshift stretcher. Angel knew Oakley was going to die he just knew it but he didn't want it.

"I got a few," Oakley spoke up through his raspy voice to Angel. Angel nodded and looked down at the wounded boy. "You saw?" He asked making sure if he was going to die he at least did what he came to do.

"I saw." Angel assured the young boy as they walked.

"Am I gonna die?" Oakley asked and Angel's heart sank he couldn't answered that he didn't want too. He's lost so many to this war and to lose a young life like this one was this war even worth it?

"Your folks can be real proud of you." Was Angel said and stopped as Oakley was taken to a tent and Angel stood there looking at his own hands that had physical blood and would wash off but he would always have blood on his hands forever. Would Buffy want him after this after he's killed so many some even with his bare hands. Was Buffy even waiting for him after all these years?

Night had settled and many men who were wounded had died by now. Angel was walking with a man that called himself The Whistler a musician. Sometimes music can help a weary soul. The man followed Angel into a tent and then to a boy on a bed and his face showed the pain he felt.

"Son, this fellow says he'll play whatever you want." Angel assured Oakley and sat next to the wounded boy.

"What about "Bonaparte's Retreat"? That's one I play." The Whistler said and played the upbeat tune on the fiddle. That seemed to make Oakley go into more pain.

"No," Oakley let out a sigh he was tired. "Play me somethin' sweet like a girl's waiting for me." And peace started to take over Oakley. Angel looked to the man wanting to give his friend anything he wanted before he left this cruel world.

"You heard him." Angel stated meaning start playing.

"I only know a couple of tunes." The Whistler said and sounded confused.

"Like when you're at Bishop's Creek," Oakley began to describe what that kind of music would sound like. "And you're thirsty and the water's so cool." Angel smiled knowing the creek and could remember it.

"I don't know what music that is." The Whistler sounded sincere about it he didn't know what sweet music was he doesn't play it but he thought about it. The boy was dying and needed to hear something peaceful so he began to play or at least tried. It sounded ok as Angel listened and thought about Buffy she was the only reason why he's made it this far. Then Oakley turned to Angel.

"I'm reachin' Cold Mountain before you." He stated with a little smile and Angel reached out taking his hand into his. Oakley drew one last breath and his arm went limp. Angel let go and sat there feeling beside himself. Angel leaned back letting his back rest against the wall. Another one gone for a worthless cause one he'll never see. The Whistler stopped playing and bowed his head as another soldier was gone but he was no longer in pain. Angel then reached for his pocket and pulled out the picture of Buffy and let his figure tips touch it hoping to feel her.

So shall I continue? I wanted to give Angel so good fighting moves because well he's Angel. More on the way hope you're liking it so far. I loved the Cold Mountain and I caught it a while ago and then thought this could make a wonderful Angel and Buffy story. Comments and reviews are welcomed.