Her Killer Secrets

Written By: Sammy

A NCIS Fanfiction

Written for Ziva David, and for all of the fellow ED sufferers out there. Stay strong.

It is a bit OOC and I wrote this as more of a high school fan fiction but I hope you like it still

Chapter One: Twisted Reflection

Does the mirror lie? It was one question Ziva did not know the answer to. But, like this morning, she would look in the mirror and she would not see what she used to see. In fact, Ziva would see something else, something so worthless, hideous, disgusting… Ziva was starting to hate herself.She hated herself. As a lone tear rolled down her cheek, she could hear her father's voice calling out for her.

"Ziva, get down here. It is time for school." Eli shouted, slightly exasperated.

Ziva, after grabbing her things, began making her way down the stairs. As usual, she wore khaki cargo pants and a baggy black t-shirt over her slightly chubby frame. The fifteen year old Israeli smiled, seeing her seven year old sister and seventeen year old half-brother, Tali and Ari. She gave Tali a hug and allowed her mother, Rivka, to take her to elementary school while Ari drove Ziva and himself to the high school. It was the first day of September. School had been in session for all of a week and she liked it, but not because of the people… she only enjoyed the academics.

The young girl was a bit of a loner, and she knew this. She would sit alone in most of her classes and at lunch, but people seemed to know who she was and they taunted her for it. They called her the cruelest of things, all because of who she was. It made her angry, not to mention depressed. But she kept it all bottled up. She knew that she could not allow anyone to see how truly hurt she was.

When Ari parked the car, he turned it off and looked over at Ziva, noticing her looking at the school, and she seemed fearful.

"Are you alright, my sister?" He asked with his thick accent.

Ziva just nodded and got out of the car, before heading into the school, prepared for another day in her own little hell.

That day, after school, Ziva went into the bathroom again, gocking at herself in the mirror. It was something she hated, but she felt she had to do it. She hated looking at herself in the mirror. She hated seeing what looked back at her. She looked herself up and down, noticing her legs were not as thin as other girls. She turned sideways, noting that her abdomen could be much flatter. She was fat, at least that is how she saw herself that day.

Her eyes veered to the left slightly, and she saw the scale on the floor. Swallowing, she stepped towards it. Ziva hastily stripped down to where she was completely naked before she stepped onto the scale. She shut her eyes tightly, not wanting to see the number. Glancing down, she found the courage to look down at what it would say. Yet another tear escaped from her eye as she saw that dreaded number. She was one-hundred thirty-five pounds.

It was a number she hated. Stepping off the scale, she started to think. What if she were to lose five pounds? Would she be happier then? Would the others hate her less? She did not know, but she knew that she would just have to try. It would not be that difficult to lose weight, right?

Exiting the bathroom after she put her clothes back on, Ziva put on a pair of running shoes and decided to go on a walk. She started walking, not having a definitive destination in mind, but she would know how to get home from wherever she ended up. She walked a mile and a half before she had to come home for dinner. She had no idea at the time that this meal would be the start of it all. The hell she experienced at that school would be nothing compared to her own internal one.

Sitting down in her own little chair at the dining room table, Ziva looked at the happy and tired faces of her seemingly loving family members. Her father sat at the head of the table, her mother to his left. Her sister sat beside her, getting more food on her than in her. Her brother sat at the other side of the table. They all seemed to not hate and resent food the way she did in that instant. They ate perfectly normally, unlike Ziva. She was cutting her food into tiny chunks, not even big enough to be constituted as bites. None of them appeared to be making their way into her body, either. Rivka noticed this, which caused her to furrow her brows.

"Ziva, dear, are you feeling alright?" Rivka asked, concern lacing her accented voice.

Ziva could only nod. She had to let everyone think she was okay, even though her mind was screaming at her to run from that table, and avoid that food at all costs. Her mind had her convinced that just one piece of that food would turn her into an even fatter cow than she already was. Voices in her head taunted her… calling her names just as those high school bullies had been.

"Are you sure? You are not eating your lamb." Rivka observed. "You love lamb, motek."

"I-I know." She stuttered. "I am just… not all that hungry."

"Oh. Alright." She replied simply, not pressing the issue further.

Wow. That had been easy. It was easier than she had thought, lying. She had no idea just how easy it would become… yet how much damage she would inflict upon herself.