Author's Note: In this chapter, Vash is 14; Ayumu is 11; Lili is 10; and Gilbert is now 2 ½.

Chapter 4: Felicyta's Sick and Dinner's, Like, a Total Mess!


The Beilschmidt residence

September 1, 1999

On the afternoon of September 1, 1999, Felicyta was lying in bed, unable to move. While watching a bad soap opera, she felt like a giant weight had been put on her body, and she felt like she was burning up. Poor Zyta had been feeling like this all day. Unfortunately, Ludwig couldn't stay home to care for her, as he had to keep New York City safe from criminals.

Toris walked into the room Felicyta shared with Ludwig, then went towards the water bed his sister was lying in and sat on the edge. "Hey, Sis, how are you? Anything else you want me to get?" He wore a look of concern.

Felicyta slowly turned her head from the whining characters on the television and saw her brother sitting on the edge of the bed. "Like, hey, little bro." She coughed slightly, then blew her nose and looked disgusted at the huge amount of snot on the tissue she held in her hands. "Yuck. Um, I could totally use some soup. And, like, maybe a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Sure thing, Zyta," Toris said with a slight smile. He gently got up from the bed and went to the kitchen to make Felicyta her lunch.

'Poor Zyta,' Toris thought as he made his way back to Ludwig and Felicyta's room, carrying Felicyta's food. "Sis, your lunch is ready—where'd you go?!" He looked around the now empty bedroom and noticed that Felicyta's side of the bed was unoccupied and unmade. Toris placed the tray of food on the bed, and then ran out of the room to search for Felicyta. "Crap. Where are you, Zyta, you idiot?"

Moments later, Toris heard Felicyta's voice coming from little Gilbert's room, then heard Gilbert laughing and saying that he was a Pokémon master. He went into the room and saw his sister struggling to keep herself upright by sitting against one of the light blue walls of Gilbert's room.

"Uncle Toris!" Gilbert exclaimed with glee. He rushed over to Toris and grabbed his arm. "Come play with us!"

Toris gently removed himself from his nephew's grip. "I'll play a little later, Gilbo, okay? Mommy's sick, so I have to get her back to bed."

"Okay," said Gilbert.

Toris went over to Felicyta and helped her up. "Come on, Zyta, back to bed. Your food's waiting for you."

"But Gilbo, like, needs me," Felicyta said weakly as she leaned on her brother for support. "Little Prussia…"

"Little Prussia's fine," Toris assured Felicyta. "Don't worry; I'll play with him and take care of him today. You need to rest."

"Like, alright," Felicyta gave in. She let Toris put her back in bed, and then tried eating her soup and sandwich. Unfortunately, she couldn't finish it all, so Toris saved it for later.

About three hours later, Vash and the girls came home from school. They noisily entered the house, not realizing that their mother was sick.

Toris was sitting in the living room, watching Blue's Clues with Gilbert, when he saw Vash, Ayumu, and Lili come in. "Hey, guys, how was school?" He spoke in a whisper so as not to wake Felicyta.

"Good," Lili replied.

"We're learning about World War II now," said Ayumu.

"Oh, really?" said Toris.

"Yeah," said Lili.

"Then Tomo saw a cockroach in class and started running around smashing it with her book!" Ayumu yelled at the top of her lungs, while Toris and Gilbert tried to shush her. "The bug splattered everywhere!"

"Ayumu, shush," Gilbert whispered. "Mommy's sick."

"Mom's sick?" Lili asked. "Oh no."

"Oh, sorry," Ayumu said sheepishly.

"It's alright," Toris said. "She just has a cold, that's all."

"Man, that sucks," said Vash. "Hey, what's there to eat? I'm dying!"

"Go look in the kitchen," Toris instructed his eldest nephew.

Vash went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He spotted the containers of Felicyta's soup and sandwich on the middle shelf. "Cool!" He swiped both containers from the fridge, heated them up, and started to dig in, when Toris came into the kitchen and stopped him. "Uncle Tor, what the heck?"

"That's not yours, Vash," Toris said, taking the soup and sandwich away. "Your mother bit into that food; I don't want you catching her cold."

"Yuck," said Vash. "Uh…I'm not hungry anymore." He got up and made a beeline to the living room, where he watched TV with Gilbert while doing his homework.

A couple hours later, Felicyta thanked Toris for watching the kids for her during the day and sent him home for the night. Then she tried making her way to the kitchen to make dinner, only to be stopped by Vash, Gilbert, and the girls.

"No, Mom," Vash said, leading her back to bed. "Let us handle dinner tonight."

"Like, are you sure?" Felicyta asked.

"Of course," Lili said happily. "We'd be happy to take care of dinner for you."

"Yeah," Ayumu agreed.

"I'll help, too!" Gilbert added, jumping up and down in excitement.

"Well, okay," said Felicyta. "Thanks, kids."

"No prob," said Ayumu.

"Okay, guys, let's go!" said Vash. He led his siblings out of their parents' room, leaving Felicyta to try and get some rest.

Literally as soon as her head hit the pillow, Felicyta looked towards the door and saw Gilbert coming back into the room. "Like, hey, Little Prussia."

Gilbert went up to Felicyta's side of the bed and placed his teddy bear, Prussia, next to his mother. "Here, Mommy, Pwussia wants you to feel better."

Felicyta smiled and gave Prussia a squeeze. "Aww, thanks, Gilbo. That's so sweet!" She then gave Gilbert a hug.

Gilbert grinned and hugged Felicyta back. "You're welcome, Mommy." He then scampered back to the kitchen, where he rejoined his older siblings in trying to make dinner.

"What should we make for dinner, Vash?" Lili asked.

"Don't know," Vash answered.

"How about we make a Thanksgiving turkey?" asked Ayumu.

"Osaka, it's not even Thanksgiving yet," Vash said with a roll of his eyes. "Seriously. And turkeys take eight hours to cook, FYI."

"Ooooohhhhh, okay," said Ayumu.

"How about chocwate soup?" Gilbert suggested. "I sawed it on Cooking wif Wandy."

"Yuck!" the three older Beilschmidt siblings said in objection.

"That's a nice suggestion, Gilbo, but we can't make that," said Lili. Then she got an idea. "Speaking of soup…How about we make chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, like Uncle Toris did for Mom?"

"Good idea!" said Vash. "Alright, everybody, let's cook!" On Vash's command, everybody got out the stuff needed to make soup and sandwiches, then got to work prepping and cooking.

Ayumu was in charge of cooking the soup. Unfortunately, she got distracted by eye floaters and ended up just staring into space.

"Uh, Osaka," Lili said. "Osaka!"

"Wah!" Ayumu exclaimed as she was jolted out of her fantasy world. "What is it?"

"The soup's overflowing," said Lili.

"GAH!" Ayumu yelled. She hastily took the pot off the stove. Alas, most of the soup didn't make it and ended up on the floor. "Oh, man!"

Vash, who was in charge of cooking the grilled cheese, came back in from having to set Ludwig's show to record and found Gilbert and the girls out of sorts. "What the hell—why is there chicken soup on the floor, guys?"

"It overflowded," Gilbert explained.

"Uh, Vash, the grilled cheese is burning!" said Ayumu. She tried getting the pan off the stove, but couldn't because of the flames.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Vash screamed. He grabbed baking soda and poured it on the burner and pan, putting the flames out. Then he viewed the charred remains of the sandwich he was making. "Oh, man, fuck me!"

"Ooooooooooohhhhhhhh, Vash, you said a bad word!" Gilbert said accusingly, pointing his little finger at his big brother.

"I don't care right now, GilGil!" Vash exclaimed. "Oh, fuck, we have to clean this up before Dad gets home. Come on, guys, let's get to work. Maybe we can order a pizza or Chinese when Dad gets here, okay?"

"Sure," the girls answered.

As the four siblings tried cleaning up the mess they made in the kitchen, they ended up knocking over a bunch of other objects and food in the kitchen, creating a bigger mess than intended. They weren't able to finish cleaning up before Ludwig came home from his shift and tried to keep him from seeing the kitchen.

"What are you guys hiding?" Ludwig demanded. "Children, tell me now."

"N-Nothing, Daddy," Gilbert said innocently.

"Just let me in the kitchen so I can clean out my coffee cup," Ludwig said and pushed past his children. He opened the door to the kitchen and screamed his head off at the giant mess. "What the hell?!"

Felicyta came out of her and Ludwig's bedroom, wrapped up in a quilt. "Lui, is that you, honey?"

Ludwig came out of the kitchen when he heard his wife's voice. "Zyta." He rushed over to her, put his arms around her, and sat her down on the living room sofa. "You shouldn't be out of bed, schatzi."

"Like, I know," Felicyta said, then blew her now red and tender nose. "But I heard you yelling in the kitchen and wanted to see what happened." She looked towards the kitchen and coughed, then looked back at her husband. "What did happen in there, anyway?"

"You don't want to go in there, Mom," said Ayumu.

'Yes, I do," said Felicyta. She got up and went into the kitchen, then came out, surprised at the war zone in there. "Like, what happened in there, guys?"

"We tried making dinner, but the soup overflowed, and the sandwiches burned," Lili said.

"Yeah, and then we tried cleaning the mess up, but…well, we ended up making a bigger mess," said Vash. "Sorry."

"Like, it's alright," said Felicyta. "How about we just order pizza or Chinese instead?"

"Sounds like a good idea," said Ludwig. "I'll help clean this mess up. Keep Little Prussia out of the kitchen, okay? He might fall in the spilled soup or something."

"Sure thing," Felicyta said and picked Gilbert up. Then she carried him into her and Ludwig's room, where he wouldn't run the risk of slipping and falling on the kitchen floor, while Ludwig helped Vash and the girls clean up.