Adventure Time: The Great Mushroom War
By Snake-Eater Patriot 21
Many thousands of years ago, before the birth of the land of Ooo. Before the candy people roamed the land and the Ice King stole princesses. It was a much different time. A time without magic. There were whole kingdoms and civilizations of humans that roamed the planet. They were far superior in technology and knowledge than those from the land of Ooo. They held machines capable of destroying the entire planet with the push of a button. And so they did, as tensions grew between the kingdoms. Only sparse remnants serve as proof to their mighty and fallen accomplishments. Yet, from the ashes and dust of these humans, the world was reborn into a happier place. Yet, the humans lived on, within a human boy named Finn, whose destiny was far greater than anything he could imagine.
Chapter 1: Earth Shake
Finn the human and Jake the dog were lying around in their tree house one day.
"Hey Finn, do you ever wonder where trees come from?" Jake asked.
"I dunno", Finn responded.
"Well, I think that there is a magical elf that lives under the ground, and when he takes a dump, trees sprout up"
"That's some pretty mathed up stuff, man", Finn replied.
"Huh huh, yeah", laughed Jake. "Totally mathed up".
All of a sudden the ground started to shake.
"Whoa, what was that", Finn said, startled.
"I'm telling ya man, magical subterranean elves. That is what happens when they fart". The ground shook again, this time even harder.
"No, man. I think it's something a little more than magical elves".
"Well, if you're that worried, why don't you see Princess Bubblegum. I'm sure she'll know what's going on. In the meantime…" Jake yawned. "I think I'll just stay here and nap a little more" Jake started to snore.
"No, man. You're coming with me", Finn said as he dragged Jake out of the tree house.
"Aw, man", said Jake in surrender.
"Princess Bubblegum, Princess Bubblegum!" yelled Finn as he ran in through the door to the candy palace.
"Finn, thank goodness you came", replied Princess Bubblegum.
"We were wondering why the magical subterranean elves were farting", said Jake.
"What?" asked the Princess.
"What my pal means to say is why is the ground shaking, Princess", said Finn.
"It is not good. Here, follow me into the Secret Candy Library", said the Princess. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a red button. She pushed it and the floor opened up beneath them and they fell into a dark stone room filled with books. On the other side of the room, there was a scroll inside a glass case.
"Here we are", said the Princess. Follow me to that scroll". Finn and Jake followed the Princess to the scroll. They looked at each other uncertainly.
"Written on this scroll", said the Princess, "Is an ancient Candy Kingdom Prophecy written by King Cocoa the First".
"Algebraic", said Finn.
"Well, what does it say, Princess?" Jake asked.
Princess Bubblegum cleared her throat. "It says When time align the land to time of Chaos, our land itself shall bear a heavy loss. As the Earth shakes, Chaos awakes. Only two of light stand chance to fight. With friends they'll fight, and send the Chaos into the night."
"Ominous", said Finn.
"I believe that these Earth Shakes may be the ones in the prophecy. There has never been mention of the ground shaking like this in any of the history of the Candy Kingdom", said the Princess.
"Hm, so I guess this isn't the work of gassy elves, huh?" Jake said.
"Stop it with the elves, man. This is serious", Finn said. "It looks like we are going to have to find these two warriors of light and defeat the Chaos".
"Aw, yeah. Looks like its…"