Selina Kyle's thoughts before deciding to help out Bruce. The Dark Knight Rises. Don't own Batman, enjoy! ONESHOT.
She hates herself.
And she hates herself because she's conflicted.
And Selina Kyle is never conflicted. Her motto is simple: Do whatever it takes to get what you want. It doesn't matter who you screw over or how many people get hurt. The number one priority is yourself.
She's never cared for Gotham. She's never cared for its people. She's watched for years as the rich and famous were handed everything on a silver platter, while people like her have lived day to day, fighting for survival.
She's watched as all the privileged men and women stomp around with their fancy attire, living life large and leaving so little for everyone else.
She never saw anything wrong with what she did. As far as she was concerned, it wasn't stealing if the person who possessed it didn't DESERVE what they had. And no one in Gotham deserved the lives they had. The rich did not deserve their money. The poor did not deserve their anguish.
Which is exactly why she's never been conflicted.
Until Bruce Wayne came into her life.
She bares her teeth and leans into the motorcycle more, pushing the handles in further. It roars loudly and she surges forward, the wind whipping her hair back behind her.
She tries her hardest not to think of Bruce Wayne. She knows what she wants, and it's very simple.
Help him this one time: Blow the tunnel, then get out. Leave Gotham City. Start fresh.
But his final words to her are gnawing at her innards and making her bite her cheek so hard that blood begins to draw.
"You don't owe these people anymore. You've given them everything!"
"Not everything. Not yet."
Upon first meeting him, she knew exactly what he was. An ass. A pompous ass, who was raised in a rich upbringing. An ass who knew nothing of living day by day, fighting for survival in a world where survival was tough. He was spoiled, given riches his whole life.
And then she'd discovered who he was...who he TRULY was.
Batman...the masked hero of Gotham City.
She never would have thought in a million years it would be him. A man, who had everything in life, risking it all for people below him? He was a multi-billionaire, why would he care about anyone but himself? Why would he worry about the sufferings of the people?
When Bane had uttered Bruce's name, she felt nothing but guilt and anger, and confusion. Why would this man be The Batman?
She thought she'd heard wrong. She thought Bane was perhaps confused. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense...all those little gadgets Batman had...who else would have stuff like that but a man with an endless amount of money?
Then, the guilt had settled in. How could she betray a man who was nothing but good?
But she was scared. Bane was terrifying, there was no doubt about it. And she knew he was someone not to be messed with. She'd had a feeling that he was going to cause havoc and destruction. And at first, them made her glad.
She'd told Bruce herself. She told him that one day, the constant peace and order in Gotham would end, and he, and everyone else who had it easy, would suffer, as she and everyone else had suffered.
"You think this can last? There's a storm coming, Mr. Wayne. You and your friends better batten down the hatches, because when it hits, you're all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us."
That day had come. That day was here. Bane and his little minions had dominated and taken Gotham for themselves. Peace and order was no more. Everything was chaos. And those with money had been brought down, and were finally experiencing life for how it truly was: A fucking mess.
But EVERYONE was suffering. And it wasn't fair.
This wasn't what she wanted. The rich were poor, but now, the poor were even poorer. Sure, she wanted nothing more than those who lived so high and mighty to suffer, but in this new Gotham of Bane's, everyone was suffering. Rich, poor, men, women, children...
But what business of that is hers? She needs to stick to her motto...Do whatever it takes to get what you want. It doesn't matter who you screw over or how many people get hurt. The number one priority is yourself.
So she's leaving. She'll do this one last favor for Batman, and then it's over. She's gone. Clean slate.
This is where her confliction lies.
Because here is a man...spoiled, rich, obnoxious...here is a man who has been given everything in life, but has done nothing but give it back.
Bruce Wayne has masked himself as this vigilante who fights those who oppress the law and cause havoc.
And the kicker is...no one asked him to do this. No one told him, or demanded he mask himself and become a caped crusader. This is something he decided to do. This is something he wants. To save the people of Gotham. To be their Knight in Shining Armor.
Time and time again, he saves them, and time and time again, he gives them everything he has. Why? She doesn't know...
But for him to say he hasn't given them everything...not yet...
That frustrates her. She gave him the chance! He could've left with her...they could've left Gotham City far behind...
But he refuses. And it clicks to her that he refuses because Gotham is his home. Gotham is his fortress. Gotham is HIS. And he won't stand by and watch people burn it to the ground...
She's never cared for Gotham...never. But now...
She doesn't want this life anymore. She doesn't want to keep running, keep stealing...
She just wants to be FREE. Free of the tyranny and the anger inside her heart.
She's always felt cheated by the rich people of Gotham...but for her to stand by and watch them suffer...it makes her as bad as them.
And she knows in her heart she can't do it. She can't just blast this tunnel and leave the city behind and watch it explode.
Because there are innocent people in this crowd. And though it pains her to say it...she can't leave HIM behind.
She can't leave Bruce to deal with this on his own. She needs to help him, because he deserves her help. Because he is a great man. Because he has done something she never could...
He has let go of his anger and used it to help the people who matter to him. The people of Gotham.
So now...she needs to let go of her anger...and use it to help the person who matters to her.
She comes to a stop before the tunnel, and stares at the mass pile blocking it.
She takes a deep breath, then leans forward and snaps the handle up and in.
A rocket blasts forth from the motorcycle and smashes through the blockage, a fireball so high and strong, it makes her eyes water and her face feel as if it's melting off.
Smoke rises and she stares at the tunnel entrance.
She's done her part...
So she should disappear now...right?
Her heart is clenching, her palms are sweaty...
She removed her goggles and slides them to the top of her head.
She can't leave him...
She lets out a little chuckle, because she can't believe she's about to do this.
"And I promised I'd never let a man change me..." She mutters to herself.
She wheels the motorcycle around and takes off at top speed, deciding she's gonna have to work on a new motto after all.