The 'First Kiss' Debate

"So, let's talk about you two. Can you tell me about… your first kiss?" It was a perfectly ordinary, gossipy question and in a meet up with some of Other John Green's old family and friends in their local pub, it should not have been too out of place, but throughout their relationship and their marriage, it was always a subject of great debate between Bald John Green and OJ (Other John Green had long since appropriated this more convenient and less degrading nickname) about their First Kiss. There was a story behind it, they would tease one another, reminisce fondly and smirk at each other whenever the subject arose.

And so they laughed in unison at OJ's cousin's words and she looked affronted but OJ was quick to explain, "Sorry, but It's funny you should mention that, we kind of have a bit of a story about our first kiss, or I perhaps I should say first kisses" he said mysteriously, gaining the attention of the rest of the group and gesturing to Bald John to continue. Although OJ was usually the more talkative, it was Bald John would always insist on putting forward his versions of the First Kiss Events first, and so with his arm slung around his husbands shoulder he smiled,

"It's less of a story and more of an ongoing disagreement. Here's my side of it: It was OJ that kissed first," Bald John said, playing with tufts of the other man's hair as he spoke, "after our first win together as a striker duo, OJ tackled me to the floor, rather violently I must say, and buried his face into my neck-"

"In a sportsmanship like manner!" OJ interjected, a faint blush creeping up his neck as a soft laughter ran through the group. Being such a romantic, OJ hated the idea that his first kiss with the man who was now his husband was on a soggy football field whilst they were doing their job. "And anyway," he argued, "Neck kisses don't count".

"But," Bald John teased, poking OJ in the ribs with his free hand for good measure, "what definitely does count is the ridiculous shade of pink you went when you sat up and realized you were basically straddling me". Laughter again and OJ sat up straighter in response to the accusation,

"No, that's not fair, it was a cold day! I was pink anyway,"

At this point Bald John merely raised an eyebrow, indicating his work was done and it was time for OJ to take over,

"Now, our first proper kiss was actually instigated by him an-"

"Debatable," Bald John muttered,

"-and I would like to be predictable and say it was the end to some beautiful date but alas, that is not the truth. And in a way I'm glad it's not because the truth is more spontaneously romantic. It was on a weekend trip for an away match and John and I were sat up talking late at night. Coach arranges those who share a room in hotels alphabetically by first name so of course, we are put together. We may have gone through a beer or two each and somehow we got to talking about relationships, and about one another and then there was this…moment… and then all of a sudden his lips were on mine and everything ... fell into place."

And there was the inevitable collective 'aawwwww' that was always heard from whatever audience they had when this part was told and Bald John kissed his husbands temple lightly, now taking his turn to speak up,

"Mmmm, yes well that an amazing day and I suppose it could be argued that that was our first meaningful kiss but there was one before that, which you don't remember and still refuse to admit exists," There was an excited murmur in the group at this and OJ huffed and shuffled uncomfortably,

"I would have remembered!"

"You do not know how drunk you were that night." Bald John shot back playfully, it was clear to those listening that this was an argument they had had many times before and though OJ looked like he wanted to retaliate, a final pointed look from Bald John was sufficient to keep him quiet, for now.

Bald John was usually relatively quiet but with this he relished in OJ's adorable embarrassment. "This was a few weeks before the Weekend Kiss and the whole team had gone out drinking. I was the designated driver so spent most of the evening making sure Ginger Rampage didn't have too much or break something. It must have been about 2am when OJ staggered up to me, obviously completely smashed and started grabbing me and saying that he hated my bald head. At first I was a bit hurt because I really really liked OJ and I thought he was now saying that he didn't want to be around me." Another 'aww' from the group, "But then he started saying how he hated my moustache and wanted to touch it and how he hated that he couldn't stop staring at me on the field and I was just so taken aback. I thought surely nothing can surprise me more tonight… and then he kissed me. Funnily enough though my first thought was not that this was our first kiss, it was more like, 'oh god he's so drunk don't take advantage of him!' Which I suppose is why I wish the weekend kiss was our first, because accidental and non-consensual kisses are not the best basis for a relationship" Bald John and everyone else laughed at the end of the story while OJ smiled just slightly and then looked up to gaze into John's eyes for a moment before bringing a hand up to his husband's cheek and kissing him, slow and lingering. And as he pulled away OJ reflected on how the first kiss didn't really matter after all, because every kiss they shared, from celebrations on the pitch to intimate moments, felt just as romantic and important as the first.