The GTAYaoiocolypse has begun! Sadly, I don't own any of these characters *sobsob*

Dapper-Man Hair Pomade

Tommy stared out of his window and stared at the unforgiving sea-lake he lived next to. That sea-lake had taken his beloved Dapper-man hair pomade. The sea-lake's waves had knocked over the boat delivering his Dapper-man pomade. All 300 crates of his Dapper-man pomade were lying at the bottom of the sea-lake. He was a broken and pomade-less man.

Tommy paced around his exquisite bedroom when his door made of Serbian coconut trees flew open. It was his childhood friend, enemy, and lover, Sonny Forelli. He smelled of strongly of sea-lake. Sonny flopped into Tommy's Serbian Morning Banana wood rocking chair. He was breathing heavily and he then, chose to speak.

"Tommy I have found a container of your Dapper-Man Pomade."

Tommy gasped and charged over to Sonny. Sonny lifted his arm and revealed the item in his hand. It was a can of his Dapper-man pomade. Tommy showered Sonny with chaste kisses when a thought struck him. How did Sonny come into possession of his Dapper-man pomade?

"Sonny, how? Where did you get this pomade?"

"It is a LONG story."

"Just tell me Sonny, I'll listen to you, even if it means I have to sit still for a while."

Sonny nodded and motioned to his lap, which Tommy gladly plopped into. A warm fire crackled next to the couple. Sonny slowly rocked back and forth when he began his story.

I was eaves-dropping on your phone call to your associate, when I heard about your current predicament. I was of course, mortified, that the sea-lake had done this to my Tommy-dearest. I ran out to the sea-lake and I violently beat the cruel, merciless water. It had no effect on the accursed sea-lake so I took it up a notch. I pumped that sea-lake with enough lead to make a Kraken choke. Nothing changed so I grabbed my missile-firing plane and got to work. I watched as the missiles flew in to the deep waters and disappeared. I sneezed and my gorgeous thumb hit the eject button. I flew out of the plane and hurtled towards the sea-lake. My body slapped the water and I sunk to the bottom. I quickly pulled out my diving suit that was immune to sea-lakes. Once I had it on-

"Wait, you expect me to believe this? It sounds terribly preposterous!"

"Look, Tommy baby, do you really want to question me, Sonny Forelli, the gorgeous, appetizing, and totally awesome?"

"Well, no, but before you continue, let's move to the davenport."

"Yeah, this rocking chair is making my bum sore."

Sonny feebly pushed Tommy off his lap and moved towards the chesterfield that had cost Tommy a cool 80 million. You ask why Tommy spent so much on a sofa? Well damn you, that's why. Tommy feigned hurt when Sonny pushed him off, but he got over it since he loved Sonny that much.

Once they settled down, Sonny began his story. Again.

So where was I? Oh, yeah. So I had put my super magical suit on and I went to the bottom of the sea-lake and started my search. As I was walking around, a deep rumble came from my left. A huge scaly beast burst out of a rocky and jagged cave. The beast said his name was Salvatore or something and that I had disturbed his nest, but I punched his ugly face and he went crying back to his cave. I swam along when something hit my foot. I looked down and there it was, The Dapper-Man hair Pomade. I grabbed it and started swimming when something grabbed my ankle. I looked down and saw that same ugly face from before, Salvatore. I punched that ugly mug so hard, he died, right then and there. I then swam up to the surface and punched the door in and well the rest is history!

"Well, Sonny this story-telling has made me really sleepy. Let's hit the hay if you know what I mean."

"Sex is much better than sleeping, but if you're that tired, I guess we can forgo it tonight."

"Sonny, just come to bed with me."

Sonny chose not to respond as he ever-so casually got up. As a result, Tommy fell over and started to fume, but he stopped when he looked into Sonny's crystal-clear eyes. They then ripped off their clothes in one minute exact and had wild raunchy sex that made the headboard hit the wall. Lance heard the headboard and was too afraid to go in since he though two wild animals were fighting.

~Le day after~

Tommy got up and found that Sonny had left and taken twenty bucks out of his wallet that had cost him 2 grand. It wasn't a special wallet or anything, Tommy just liked to have expensive things. Tommy got up and went down to the kitchen where Lance was eating a bowl of fruity pebbles. Lance casually slipped a piece of paper to Tommy. It read as follows:

Dear Tommy,

I'll be back for more if you know what that means.*winkwink*


Finished my first one-shot! Help someone who's poor in reviews and review this story!