Midnight Channel 5

For maximum effect, I'd recommend playing the soundtrack of Space Channel 5: Part 2 as you read.


Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

A young, silver-haired man sat in front of the small TV inside his room. It was a rainy night, the time approaching midnight.

Yu Narukami focused intently on the monitor, waiting for the rumoured Midnight Channel to reveal itself. He had heard about it from his friends Chie and Yosuke earlier that day, and decided to see if it was actually real.

Apparently, looking into a turned-off TV, alone, at midnight would display your soulmate on the screen. It sounded like a long shot, but Yu thought no harm in trying.

As the clock struck midnight, yellowish static appeared on the TV.

"Hm…?"

Yu could make out a faint image forming, which would then turn more and more vivid with each passing second. Until…


Yulala's Swingin' Report Show!

Stepping inside an extravagant medieval-style castle with confidence in his step, Yu held aloft a bright blue microphone. Clad in a sleeveless white spandex crop top with the number '5' emblazoned on the chest, along with a matching micro-mini skirt, he struck a pose so sexy it defied words.

"Hello, Persona cats. On today's edition of Yulala's Report Show, we bring you up-close coverage of Inaba's wacky-ass residents." Strutting along the gigantic, brightly-lit castle with untold amounts of swagger, Yu spoke into the microphone.

"Sensei! Danger just up ahead!" A voice sounded in Yu's ears.

"Roger, Teddie!" Yu replied to the voice, looking forward.

There were Yosuke and Chie, being forced to dance wildly against their will. Their moves were unnatural-looking and extremely traumatising to the casual onlooker.

"The groove is getting us!" The two said in unison, frantically twirling and flailing their arms around.

"Oh, no! Who could be responsible for such a thing?" Yu spoke overdramatically, shaking his shapely booty around. Just then, a dark figure appeared in front of him.

"Good eveniiiiiiiiiiiiing! Tonight, Princess Yukiko's got a big surpriiiiiise." It seemed to be Chie's friend, Yukiko. Except her eyes were bright yellow, and she was wearing a pink princess dress for whatever reason. What's gotten into her? It must be her Shadow! "Watch me score some HOT STUDS, and copy my hot dance moves with no mistakes!"

"Sensei, this girl must be behind Chie-chan and Yosuke's spastic seizurey dancing!" Teddie's voice sounded through Yu's head, who assumed a dance-ready pose.

"I won't allow you to make my friends your personal dance group slaves!" Pointing dramatically at Yukiko's Shadow, Yu shook his stuff around. "Whether you like it or not…"

"DANCE BATTLE!"

"Up, up, up!" Yukiko signalled for Yu to follow her dance moves, which he did with grace and style.

"Up, up, up!"

"Down, down, down!"

"Down, down, down!" Yu could go all night. He was ready to save the entire universe with his funky dance moves.

"Right, left, right, left!"

"Right, left, right, left!"

Yukiko's Shadow thought to shake things up a bit. She had not one but two HOT STUDS by her side, still spastically dancing. She needed a new trick, and fast!

"Sensei! Bear-ess the X button when you hear 'Chu'!" Once again, Teddie's voice chimed in with super helpful help for Yulala, the bold and beautiful space reporter.

"Roger!" Yu, ready for anything the cleavagey slutbomb princess could throw at him, heeded Teddie's advice.

"Chu, chu, chu-chu!" Yukiko's Shadow, assured in her ability to take down Yulala and add him to her ever-growing harem.

"Chu, chu, chu-chu!" Flawlessly repeating Yukiko's prompts, Yu wasn't going down that easily!

"Chu, chu, chuuuuuuuuu, chu!"

"Chu, chu, chuuuuuuuuu, chu!"

"Up-down-up-down-chu-chu-chu!"

"Up-down-up-down-chu-chu-chu!"

"Updownupdownchuchuuuuuuchu!"

"Updownupdownchuchuuuuuuchu!"

With that final 'chu', Shadow Yukiko was knocked back by Yu's beautiful moves. Her severed concentration freed Yosuke and Chie from the spell she had cast on them.

"Thank you, Yulala!" Running frantically towards Yu and stepping behind them, Yosuke and Chie struck funky poses. "Yay!"

"Super successful rescue!" The trio then proceeded to strut after the panicking Shadow Yukiko, who was retreating further into the castle.

Summoning a group of prince-like Shadows, she struck a menacing pose.

"Y-you bitches can't just invade my castle and take away my throne! When you hear 'chu', press the X button to shoot my prince army!" Yukiko laughed dramatically. "Wait, why did I just tell you that?"

"Per! So! Na!" Yu, Yosuke and Chie pointed their hands into the air. As if by magic, a mysterious figure clad in what seemed to be a male cheerleader uniform appeared.

"I am thou, thou art I, and we have been brought together by the power of FUNK! I am Izanagi, and you basic bitches don't got nothin' on me!" Izanagi declared, his large hands glowing with electricity. "Get down!"

"Left, right, chu!" Yukiko cried out, signalling for Izanagi to blast her sexy princes with his electricity powers.

"Left, right, chu!" Blasting away the crowding princes with Zio, Yulala's and Izanagi's moves were completely in sync.

"Left, chu, right, chu, down, chu, down-chu!"

"Left, chu, right, chu, down, chu, down-chu!"

And like that it went, until the princes were all gone. Shadow Yukiko was reeling, but Izanagi's righteous groupies were showing no sign of relenting.

"Sensei-tional!" The pleasantly annoying voice of Teddie shouted in glee as the trio struck a pose more dramatic than anything before.

"You… rotten peasants! I shall proceed to karaoke you to death!" Yukiko summoned a bright pink microwave decorated with fake bird wings out of nowhere. "Let's sing!"

"I've been waiting for my prince to come~ chu!"

Yu dismissed Izanagi, but the trio got ready to belt out some funky lyrics.

"Sorry, we don't speak skanky whore~ chu!"

"Don't want to inherit my family's inn~ down!"

"Shut up ho, get in the kitchen~ down!"

"I feel like a bird in a cage~ up!"

"You're the most annoying boss in the game~ up!"

"STOOOOOOOP!" A weak-sounding voice cried out from behind Shadow Yukiko. There she was, the real Yuki-chan. Clad in a pink kimono, she looked extra vulnerable.

"You're not meeeeeee~ UP!" The real Yukiko sang.

"I am a Shadow, the true self—UP!" Yukiko's Shadow began to transform into a gigantic, flaming bird, trapped within a cage. Yu, Yosuke and Chie, sworn to defend their fabulous friend, leapt into action, confetti raining on them.

"Mhmhmhm~ UP! I have no weakness~ CHU!"

"Izanagi~ Up! We'll Zio you anyway~ CHU!"

Shadow Yukiko was barely damaged by Izanagi's Zio. All she did was get more pissed off!

"Chie is weak to fire~ DOWN! Burn to Ashes! Down, down, down, chu!"

"Holy shit, Chie! Down! Let's make her Guard! Down, down, down, chu!"

As her Shadow and her friends exchanged 'chu's and terrible lyrics, Yukiko could only watch the scene unfold in the background. What in the hell is going on…?

"Oh, nooooo, I'm totally getting blown to bits~ CHUUUUUU!"

"This is our best shot~ CHUUUUUU!"

Having chipped down her HP, Izanagi fired off one last Zio, which knocked out the reeling Shadow Yukiko.

A confetti explosion covered the grand hall, the sexy dance machine Yulala striking the most amazing pose ever to be witnessed by mankind.

"Okay, fine, I guess you're me~ chu." Yukiko sighed as she walked up to her Shadow.

"Yukiko has obtained the façade to face life's hardships~ chu!"

Yukiko wiped sweat off her brow, exhausted after watching… whatever had just happened.

"Okay, guys, er… can someone tell me what's going on here?" A questioning look on her face, Yukiko looked Yulala straight in the eye.

However, all Yulala did was hold his microphone up high and shout with all his might!

"That's all for tonight, folks! See you next rainy night on… Midnight Channel 5!"


In that very instant, a slender, silver-haired young man woke up in front of a dinky television set.

"Whu—what? I must've fallen asleep…" Yu scratched his head. The TV in front of him was most certainly turned off. Looking at the clock, the time was 2:12am.

"Aw, jeez… I should get to bed, already."

Dismissing his dream as simply something his worn-out mind had fabricated, Yu slowly shuffled over to his futon and drifted off to sleep. It'd be best if he didn't mention any of this to Chie or Yosuke.