I walked up the stairs to the apartment, it was the day after the engagement party and after my fight with Joanne, I went to go pick up my stuff and prayed she wouldn't be there. Luckily she wasn't and I got my stuff and left, I walked the packed streets of New York from the apartment, not sure where I should go at this point, I headed to the Life Café, I knew at least one of my friends would be there. All of them were gathered at our usual table when I walked up; no one had noticed me yet.
"Chica!" Angel exclaimed, jumping up and hugging me, everyone had now noticed me, they all looked concerned, "¿Còmo has estado?"
Apparently Angel had forgotten I don't speak Spanish for a second, I gave her a questioning look, "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, I forgot." She smiled, "How have you been?"
"Yeah, we've all been so worried, not seeing you since…" Mimi said, stopping herself, not completely sure if we should talk about it.
"I've been fine." I replied to Angel, kissing her cheek and sitting down beside Mimi, "Sorry, I worried you guys, I just had to clear my head."
"We understand, we were just worried," Angel said now sitting beside Collins.
"Have…any of y-you guys heard from Jo-Joanne?" I asked, I grabbed at my throat, I'm a performer, I should never stutter on my words like that, what's wrong with me?
Everyone went quiet and looked down, Mark broke the silence, "Last night, we all came here and talked…"
Everyone gave me a concerned look, "About?" I questioned as a waiter walked up to us, "Wine and beer, please." I said before he could even speak, he smiled and nodded.
It went silent again, "…The fight…" Roger murmured.
"Oh," I smiled, "What did she say?"
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this so soon, Mo." Angel smiled weakly patting my hand.
"I have to go anyway; I have to find somewhere to stay." I said getting up.
"Mo, you can stay with us." Mark and Roger said in unison.
"I mean you've lived there before so it would probably be better being in a familiar place." Roger smiled, why do I feel like I'm getting the treatment Roger got from everyone when he was always getting high?
"Um, thanks." I smiled at them, sitting back down.
We all ordered and went over to the loft when we were done, we were all a little drunk from all the wine and beer, Roger was standing up when he passed out, I've never seen anyone hit the floor so hard in my life but we were all drunk of course so we all found it hilarious Mark and Mimi finally stopped laughing enough to go help him. I passed out on the floor after that. I woke up way too early; everyone else was still where they passed out, all still in a heavy sleep, I got up and walked to the kitchen, everything was still gone due to Benny except a clock on the wall.
I looked at the clock, "7:30, why in the hell am I up at-" I thought aloud to myself but stopped…this was when Joanne would usually wake me when she left for work, not on purpose really, she would just kiss my cheek and whisper "I love you, Honeybear." In my ear before leaving, she never knew it woke me but it was the best part of waking up…Maureen, come one, snap out of it, you don't need her…who am I kidding, of course I need her.
I hadn't even noticed the tears until I felt someone wrap their arms around me, it was Collins, "You miss her, don't you?" He asked kissing the top of my head and wiping my tear stained cheeks with his thumbs.
"More than anything…" I sighed laying my head on his chest, he rubbed my back, "Please don't tell her, she's probably so happy to have me gone and I don't want her to see me so weak, I don't want her to feel like she's won."
"But she miss-" Collins started but stopped himself, "Fine, I promise."