Life in Sparta is very harse.
Each baby is inspected, and if they are unfit in anyway they are dispposed of... You know, Killed.
from the time we can stand, we are trained in to the art of combat.
and than at age seven we are taken to a place that teaches us NOTHING but violence.
in order to make the finest soldiers known to man.
Why do we do this?
Is that your bisiness!
I mean stop annoying me! I mean honestly, WOULD YOU WANT ME TO RIP OFF YOUR FACE! BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! RIP OFF OUT YOUR...
Sorry, Leonardis kept me up all night, constantly reminding to narrate the story of his life, so here I go.
Leonardis went though all the hardships that rest of us Spartans do. Including being cast out into the wild snow ontop of a high mountain, where he bravelly spend much of his time laying in a fetal position. Until eventually he was greeted by a large black, scary looking wolf. Witch looked at him, with no intentions of wishing to hurt the young boy, it mainly just containued walking past him.
But still the boy grabbed his spear and stabbed it though the wolfs brain.
Then, after several days the boy returned, wearing the wolfs fur as clothes, and became KING OF SPARTA!
(anger in voice), Even though I did the very same thing five times in a row, and I sure as hell never...
"Dilos, stop narraiting already, it's friggin annoying!" Cried Leonardis himself, as he walking past Dilos, and after saying this he containued walking, until he was no longer seen.
"Aye, ser" Dilos said grumperly.
Then Dilos checked to see if Leonardis would be able to hear him anymore. And went back to narriating outloud.
Its been so many years sence the wolf and the winter could. Now, as then, a beast amerges. Unlike anything ever seen be-
"DILOS!" Leonardis cried from off view.
Dilos sighed annoyedly. "Just enjoy the friggin story" he groaned to the readers.
A large, black skinned rider hode his horse to Sparta, with lots of hooded of riders traveling behind him.
The rider met up with Leonardis and his wife, Gorgo.
"So many backup.. You must be paraniod" Leonardis teased him.
"Forget about that, it dosen't matter" the black man replied.
"Before you say anymore Persian.. Know that in Sparta, everyone, even a kings messager, is held accountable for the words of his voice... Now, what message did you bring?" Leonardis asked.
"earth and water" the MESSAGER replied.
"You came all this way for earth and water?" Leonardis asked.
"Do not nieve or stupid Perisan, you can afford neither in Sparta" Gorgo said.
"What makes this woman think she can speak amoung men?" the MESSAGER said annoyedly.
"Because she's as annoying as hell" Leonardis teased.
Carzing him and the MESSAGER to laugh and high five each other, as Gorgo groaned annoyedly.
"Seriously though, what dose earth and water have to do with anything?" Leonardis asked.
MESSAGER went on about how big of a army Xerbis leads, and how such fights could be prevented by earth and water (submission to being under Xerbis's control).
"Submission... Now that's a bit of a problem.. Rumor has it, the Arcadians have already turned you down.. And if them numbskulls have such nerve, then why should we be any different" Leonardis replied.
"Choose your next words carefully Leonardis, they may be your last as King" MESSAGER warned.
Leonardis began looking at all the citizens of Sparta, including small childrun.
'earth and water' Leonardis thought.
Without warning he drew out his sword pointing it at the MESSAGER. But as he did a crack sound was heard. "OH GOD! MY ARM!" Leonardis screamed, falling down, holding his snapped arm.
A few Spartens ran over, trying to help him, carzing everyone to start speaking at once.
A 'please stand by' screen appeared.
Leonardis, after fixing his arm, went back to holding his sword at MESSAGER.
"Madman! Your a madman!" MESSAGER cried out.
"Earth and water, your find plenty of both down there" Leonardis said, chuckling abit.
"No one! Persian or Greek, NO ONE THREATENS A MESSAGER!" MESSAGER cried.
"You bring the concored heads of old Kings to my cities steps! You insult my Queen even though what you said is 100% true! And you threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh I choosen my words carefully Persian, prehaps you should of done the same" Leonardis cried out.
"This is Blastermy! THIS IS MADNESS!" MESSAGER cried out.
Leonardis lowered his sword for the moment.
"Madness... THIS! IS!... Damn it I forgot the line!" Leonardis cried out.
"Really?" MESSAGER asked.
"YES! I FORGOT THAT PART OF THE SCRIPT!" Leonardis cried, annoyed with himself.
"Its just the name of the city" said Leonardis's friend, the Captain.
"Yes, but I need a reminder of what that is!" Leonardis cried, even though a sign saying "Welcome to Sparta" reveals to be wait beside him.
"You mean Sparta?" MESSAGER asked.
"Yes! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!' Leonardis screamed before kicking MESSAGER down a huge well, where he was heard screaming like a little girl the whole way down.
End of chapter..
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