I, the author, make no claim as to ownership of "Kim Possible" or any of its characters. I write this story solely for my own enjoyment and not to create profit for myself or any other entity. All copyrighted material/characters are owned by their respective copyright holder(s).
PLEASE NOTE: This story deals with mature subject matter in immature ways. Reader discretion is advised.
A quiet flight home after a mission wasn't extremely common, but it was far from unusual for Kim and Ron. Sometimes the two would use the quiet time to catch up on homework or sleep. Idle chit-chat or a passionate makeout session were common activities as well, but the young couple would occasionally just relax and enjoy a comfortable silence.
This flight home was certainly silent, but it was anything but comfortable.
Neither Kim nor Ron had made a sound since boarding the cargo plane fifteen minutes ago. It would be another two and a half hours before the US Army aircraft would bring them home, and if no words were spoken during that time, they wouldn't have complained. They knew that the silence wouldn't hold, but neither of them were in a hurry to break it because doing so would bring the conversation into awk-weird territory. It was territory they knew they'd have to traverse, but that didn't make it easier to deal with.
After all, talking about sex with her parents was one thing. Admitting to having sex was something completely different. Admitting to having sex with someone who insisted on being by her side (a.k.a. 'within striking distance') when she told them was uncharted territory.
The conversation they knew was coming was one they were fully prepared for that morning. In fact, they planned it out. Kim woke up early and told her parents she needed to talk after breakfast about something important. Ron came over just as they were sitting down to eat (a not-unusual occurrence) and they had a pleasant meal. Once they finished, they were ready to say their piece and face the consequences. Their game plan was solid and their talking points were covered the night before; It was a mutual decision, they were equally responsible, they played it safe, and they wanted to tell them right away because they wanted to be honest with their parents. There was nothing that could go wrong.
Something went wrong.
That something came in the form of a group of cavemen, who abducted the four of them (along with, through a massive coincidence, Bonnie Rockwaller), tied them to trees and planned to destroy the world through a virgin sacrifice. Two hours, one awkward reveal, several jokes from Bonnie, one daring escape and one Global Justice assist later, the young heroes sat in dead silence across from Kim's parents, Anne and James, hoping that the last few hours of their lives would be forgotten... or at least ignored for the next hundred and fifty minutes.
The teens were doing just about everything they could to avoid eye contact with her parents, which meant that the only time they looked at Anne and James were when the elder couple exchanged whispers. They didn't know what they were whispering, but they were pretty sure they knew what those whispers were about. As long as they didn't have to talk about it out loud, they were fine with that.
"Alright," Anne said, breaking the silence. "We've got two-plus hours before we land, and I'm not going to let all of this hang over our heads the entire time."
So much for not talking about it out loud.
"Now we've got some time before-" Anne's train of thought instantly derailed when Ron stood up and walked to the side of the plane. "Ron, what are you doing?" she asked, but he did not answer. Instead, he approached an empty chair and shook it a few times. Seemingly satisfied with the result, he turned his attention to another chair a few steps away and shook it.
Kim was concerned with her boyfriend's actions. "Ron?" she called as he repeated the process on a first aid kit attached to the plane's wall. She sighed and tried again. "Hello, Earth to Ron?" When he remained focused on other objects in the room without responding, Kim had enough. "RON!"
Ron paused and surveyed the rest of the plane. He nodded to himself and returned to his seat. "Sorry about that," he offered as he sat down.
"What was that all about?" asked a slightly worried Kim.
"I just had to make sure everything was secure," he replied.
Kim shook her head in amused disbelief. "I thought you were over that whole 'random objects falling on you' thing."
"I'm over that," Ron said, "but I'm less worried about 'falling on' and more worried about 'being thrown at.'"
Kim continued to shake her head. "Were you not listening on the island? Dad promised that he wasn't going to kill you."
Ron held up a finger. "True, but he said nothing about maiming or injuring me."
Kim started to reply but stopped before she said anything. She gave what Ron said some thought. "You know, you do have a point," she said as she turned questioningly to her father.
James saw the unreasonable worry in Kim's eyes and couldn't help but chuckle. "Do you really think that I would hurt Ron?" He started to laugh, but stopped when he saw his daughter's expression changed from that of worry to that of accusation. "Oh, come on, Ronald, do you honestly believe that I'd-" He stopped talking when he saw that Ron was giving him the same look as Kim. James shook his head. "Annie, can you believe these two?" he said as he turned towards his wife. "They think I'd-" His words died in his throat when he saw Anne giving him an identical look.
James sighed. "Fine. I promise that I will not kill, injure, maim or do any sort of physical harm to Ron Stoppable in any way, shape or form for the duration of this flight." Ron cleared his throat. James sighed, realizing what Ron was expecting. "Or in the aftermath of this flight."
"Is that a Vatorian oath?" asked Ron.
James nodded. He made a fist with his right hand and tapped it to his forehead twice before placing it on his left shoulder. "Vatorian oath."
"Vatorian oath?" asked Kim and Anne simultaneously.
"Captain Constellation," both men replied.
Anne rolled her eyes at nobody in particular before turning her attention to her daughter. "Now that we've got that settled, why don't you tell us what happened?"
Kim leaned back in her chair and sighed heavily. She rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to clear her head. She had thought through what she was about to say at least twenty times over the last hour and none of them were sufficient. Attempt number twenty-one was running through her head when she felt Ron pat her on the arm. She turned to see Ron offering her a half-hearted smile. The look on his face usually would cause her concern, but she figured was as good as he could muster all things considered, so she took it as a sign of support. With the extra courage given to her, she took a deep breath and turned to her parents.
"I was going to go to Ron's house to help him practice for the Iron Cook charity tournament, but he called just before I was about to leave. He was canceling practice because Hana was being extra loud and fussy and he couldn't focus. The Tweebs were already with Wade for their summer tutoring deal and Dad was already at work, so I told him that it would be okay if he came to our house and cooked for me and mom."
"Is that what you were trying to tell me before I told you I got called in?" Anne asked.
Kim nodded. "I thought it'd be nice to have the three of us eat lunch together, but you had that emergency at the hospital so it was just Ron and me. Anyways, I went to the door to meet him but he was talking to some of the guys from the football team and they were trying to get him to go to a... a..." Kim paused to gather herself. "A strip club."
James glared at Ron. "Friends of yours?"
"No sir," Ron replied. "I guess they were one guy short of a group discount, then they saw me and... yeah."
"I could hear them from the door," Kim continued. "Well, the end of it anyways. I guess they had been driving along side him for a while, and by the time they were by our door, they were saying... some pretty bad stuff about me. He got rid of them, but it still kinda tweaked me. He saw that it bothered me, so we talked before he could make lunch and... One thing kinda led to another."
"Hmmmm..." James said as he brought his hand to his chin. "So would you say that you were... vulnerable?"
Kim shot her father a puzzled look. "What makes you say..." Her eyes grew wide as she realized what her father was trying to get at. "Dad, no! He didn't take advantage. If anything, I-" The rest of her sentence was nothing more than a murmur.
"What was that, dear?" Anne asked.
Kim sighed., then let her head hang low as the beginnings of tears started to form in her eyes. "I said, if anything, I... I took advantage of him."
Ron gasped. "What? No! You didn't-"
"But you asked me four or five times if I was sure I wanted it, like you weren't really sure. I could've said no at any point-"
"And so could I," Ron said firmly. "But I didn't. I mean, yeah, I would give you anything you wanted if I could, but I know you wouldn't do anything I didn't want to do." He sighed. "We talked about it before, remember? We said that either of us could say no, and that would be the end of it. I didn't forget about that yesterday, so don't go kicking yourself for something you didn't do, okay?"
Kim nodded as she wiped away a couple of stray tears. She had come close to losing her composure, but Ron's reassurance let her keep her wits.
"Good," said Ron. "I don't want you to regret any part of those four hours."
Mr. Possible started coughing. He leaned forward as his wife started gently slapping his back. A moment later, the coughing fit subsided and he turned to Ron. "I'm sorry, did you say... four hours?"
"Yyyyeah," Ron answered.
Anne raised an eyebrow. "I know this may be something you don't feel comfortable talking about, but... exactly... how many times... did you..."
Ron's head lowered in embarrassment. "Once."
James had another coughing fit. This one didn't last as long as the first one, but it seemed to be a bit more intense. Once he recovered, he turned to Ron. "Do you mean to tell me that... you... continuously... for four hours?"
Kim sighed. "Remember when I was stuck to Bonnie?" Both parents nodded. "Well the Tweebs did some research and made a fluid that works the same way. They put it in a bottle that happened to look like my bottle of-" She stopped herself as her face turned red. "Yeah, let's just move on."
Anne looked at her daughter in amazement. "How did you get out?"
"You don't want to know," replied Ron.
"Oh-kaaaaay..." Anne continued. "Is there anything else we should know about? Anything we should be preparing for in about... oh, nine months or so?"
Now it was Ron's eyes who grew wide. "No!" he cried, frantically waiving his arms. "No, no, no, no, nonononono."
Kim nodded and pointed a thumb at her boyfriend. "What he said."
"Are you sure?" James asked.
"Dad, I'm sure," said Kim. "Even if I wasn't with anyone, not having to deal with... issues... during missions has been enough to make sure I haven't missed a pill in five years. And Ron..." She started to turn red again. "He took care of his end of the bargain."
"Is that so?" asked James.
"Yeah," Ron replied as he started turning red himself. "Once my dad found out I was dating KP, he, uh... bought me a box of... ya know... condoms."
"Out of the blue?" James asked.
Ron nodded solemnly. "Yep. Hundred pack."
James appeared slightly confused. "Well that doesn't sound much like your father."
"He said it was the best deal that Smarty Mart had," added Ron.
"That sounds a little like your father," Anne said.
"He also left me a note saying 'This is our way of telling you to be careful with her.'"
"That sounds like your father," said Anne and James simultaneously.
"Yeah," agreed Ron with a chuckle.
"I think he had the right idea, though," said James. "It's not that I don't trust you, Ronald, but it's just that..." James paused to consider the wording of what he was about to say. "Well, you know Kimmie. She's... she's not one to let anything stop her from getting what she wants. And I always thought that once she wanted you... well, wanted you..."
"You don't think I could've resisted?" Ron finished for him.
"Are braneworlds three-dimensional?" James started to chuckle at his own joke. He turned to Ron and saw that the young man was confused. "I guess you didn't hear me. I said, are braneworlds three-dimensional?"
Ron gave James a confused glare. "...are they?"
James smacked his palm across his forehead. "I'm sorry, that was a bit of astrophysicist humor. No, they're not."
"So," Anne said, trying to bring the conversation back on topic, "before we deliberate, is there anything else either of you wish to say?"
Ron closed his eyes and took a cleansing breath. Upon exhaling, he tried to looked at his girlfriend's father, but couldn't face him. He instead stared a hole through the floor in front of him. "I... I want to apologize for what happened."
"Well, that would be a-" James' reply was cut off by Ron's upheld palm.
"Please, sir, let me finish." Ron took another deep breath. "I... I want to apologize for what happened... because I think you want one... but I can't. Well, not honestly, at least. I mean... I could say that what we did was a mistake and it will never happen again, but it didn't feel like a mistake. Things might have... happened... earlier than we planned, and it might have been a different place than we planned, but... I think that nothing about being with KP feels like a mistake, including this. Even with the glue and the volcano and this... awk-weird talk... I wouldn't trade a minute of anything we've been through together for anything in the world.
"There's never been a doubt in my mind that..." Ron gulped. "...that I wanted my... first time... to be with her. And my last time, too. And every time in between, whether it's once or twenty thousand times, although I kinda hope it's closer to twenty thousand because that... was..." He finally brought himself to look at Mr. Possible and he immediately wished he hadn't. James looked quizzically at him, wondering where he was going with his thought process. Ron wondered that too. "I... should probably shut up now."
All either parent could do was stare at Ron. They could see he was emotionally spent. A moment later, James cleared his throat. "Well, that was... something." He turned towards his daughter. "Kimberly, would you like to say anything?"
Kim nodded. "I... don't regret it either. Even if... you don't think it was right, I don't think it was wrong. I've thought about it over and over again, looking for something that was wrong about what we did and... I just can't find it. In fact, the only regret I have is that all of this came out in front of OHMIGOD WE FORGOT BONNIE!" Kim leaped out of her seat. "We have to go back!" She started to make her way towards the intercom to alert the pilots, but she was stopped when her mother grabbed her arm.
"I don't think that's a good idea, dear," Anne said. "It'd be too dangerous."
"Too dangerous?" asked Kim. "What are you talking about? Global Justice already took care of Sapia and his cavemen. The island's clear!"
"Your mother's right," James said. "I did some calculating before we left. The added weight of another person would bring this plane dangerously close to its weight limit."
Kim gave her father a puzzled look. Her expression hadn't changed when she turned to her mother questioningly. And it certainly didn't change as she looked around the plane.
The cavernous cargo plane.
The cavernous cargo plane designed to carry up to 80,000 pounds.
The cavernous cargo plane designed to carry up to 80,000 pounds that was completely empty except for the four passengers and the two pilots.
Kim turned her attention back to her father with a raised eyebrow. "Kimmie-cub, I've got the calculations right here." At that, he produced a notepad from his back pocket with a flourish. "See, right here, you..." his voice trailed off when he took a second look at his numbers. "Huh," he uttered with a completely-not-fake sense of realization. "Look at that. I guess I miscalculated. Looks like I forgot to carry a one... or twenty of them."
Anne leaned over her husband's shoulder and looked at the page. "Dear, I don't think that's a miscalculation. See?" She pointed to a spot on the sheet. "That number looks right... if you take Bonnie's ego into account."
It was all Kim and Ron could do to hold back a chortle. Had it been any other situation, they probably would've been rolling on the floor at that point.
"Don't worry about Bonnie," said Anne. "I made sure to talk to the Global Justice guys before we boarded. They've got her flight home taken care of."
Bonnie Rockwaller was out of patience. There was no reason for her to still be on this hell-hole of an island. Yet there she stood, waiting for the okay to board her plane after she watched Kim Possible fly off with her square parents and her loser boyfriend nearly an hour ago. The frustration was too much to bear. She marched to the man in charge of the operation and let her fury be known. "Why the HELL are we still here?" she screamed.
Will Du pulled his attention away from his clipboard and turned to Bonnie. "The reason we're still here is that we must complete a thorough safety check before takeoff. Now if you'll excuse me, Miss Rockwaller, I must return to my work."
"Are you kidding me?" cried Bonnie. "Kim is the one who got it on with the loser! She's the one that tried to make those cave-freaks throw me in the volcano because she couldn't be a virgin sacrifice! And you're telling me that I have to wait?"
Will took a small cleansing breath. "Miss Rockwaller, I assure you that the rest of the captives would be waiting just as long as you are had they not arranged their own transportation."
"Well can I arrange my own transportation?" Bonnie huffed.
"I'm afraid that our communication devices are for Global Justice personnel only," Will replied. "Oh, and I must ask you to not discuss the details of Miss Possible and Mister Stoppable... fraternizing. When it comes to non-Global Justice employees, we have a strict 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy."
Bonnie was seething at this point. "Oh yeah? Well I have a policy of my own. DON'T make me ASK when we get to go home, just TELL me we're leaving in the next five minutes. Understand?"
Will was highly annoyed, but he did a good job of hiding it behind his steady voice. "Miss Rockwaller, I assure you that this three-hundred-fifteen point safety check is for your benefit."
"Three hundred fifteen?" Bonnie replied incredulously. "What step are we on now?"
Bonnie snapped. She grabbed Will by the collar and pulled him in so she was nose-to-nose with him. "I will tell you this ONCE!" she yelled. "If step seventy-three isn't 'get on the plane and get the hell out of here,' I will shove my shove my foot SO FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT that you'll-"
Her rant was cut short by the sound of several guns cocking. She looked up and saw at least ten Global Justice agents pointing their weapons at her.
With Bonnie frozen in fear, Will took the opportunity to remove himself from Bonnie's grip and straighten his collar. "Miss Rockwaller, threatening a Global Justice agent with bodily harm is in direct violation of Regulation Number 4156.3a. I'm afraid that you're under arrest."
Bonnie grabbed her hair and looked to the heavens. "I. Hate. ALL OF YOU!"
"She'll be fine," said James after a moment's thought. He stood up and took his wife's hand. "Now if you'll excuse us, we've got a lot to talk about." With that, the Doctors Possible walked to the opposite end of the plane, well out of Kim and Ron's hearing range. While the younger couple eyed each other nervously, the elder couple started to talk.
"Well... we knew this was coming," said Anne. "Remember what we talked about? Remember how we hoped it would happen?"
"Of course," replied James. He then began to recite from memory: "When she's ready, with the right person, for the right reasons, after taking every precaution."
"Right." She grabbed her husband's hand. "Now think about it: can you think of any person more deserving of her?"
"This isn't about that," James said. "This is about-"
"And did you look at Ronald? It's pretty clear he wasn't doing it just to... 'get some,'" she continued as she made quotation marks with her fingers.
"And they did take precautions."
James sighed. "I guess a person who wasn't ready to make that step wouldn't be so honest about it with us, would they?"
A small smile crossed Anne's face. "Even if we don't give them 'the right time', we still got three out of four."
James' expression slowly matched his wife's. "Seventy-five percent."
"That's a passing grade," Anne offered.
"A very solid C."
"I guess we're not terrible parents."
"Watch what you say," replied Anne as she gently scolded her husband with her finger. "We've still got two to go."
"Don't remind me," James said with a chuckle. Anne briefly joined in.
"So," she said a moment later with a sigh, "let's let them off the hook." She turned her attention towards the teens and began to walk towards them, but she was stopped when her husband grabbed her arm.
"Hold on," he pleaded. Anne turned back to James with concern on her face as he continued to speak. "Kimmie-cub takes after you in a lot of ways. What if this is one of them?"
"What if what is one of them?" Anne asked.
James' eyes narrowed. "You do remember what we were doing at their age, right?"
At that, Anne's eyes widened with realization. "Oh, my... If Kimmie's like that..."
"I still don't know how either of us were able to walk some days," James offered with a slight smirk on his face.
"Do you think Ronald stands a chance?"
"Are braneworlds three dimensional?" Both parents chuckled heartily for a few moments. As the laughter died down, contemplative looks returned to their faces. "If we don't do something now," James continued, "this is going to go on all summer. And if she takes after you in that other way, nobody in the house will be able to sleep until she leaves for college."
Anne sighed. "I think we know what needs to be done."
James nodded solemnly. "Nuclear option?"
"Nuclear option." With that, the two returned to their original seats to face the younger couple.
Anne cleared her throat to grab Kim and Ron's attention. It wasn't necessary, as the two had been watching her parents during the entire conversation. The plane felt fairly cool, but she thought she saw a large amount of sweat pouring from Kim and Ron's heads.
"After much discussion," began Anne, "we've decided... to let you decide how we handle this."
Anne paused to let her statement sink in, knowing that the young couple would need some time to process what she had said. Sure enough, Kim's eyes momentarily glazed over in disbelief. Seconds later, Kim shook herself out of her haze and turned to her boyfriend to see if he had heard the same thing. The disbelief on his face told her that he had. The two of them then turned to James, unsure what to think. James simply nodded, quietly assuring them that this was indeed happening.
Anne ended the silence. "We're giving you two options." Her voice immediately regained the teens' attention. "Option one: Kim is grounded for the rest of the summer. Ron, once we land, we call your parents and convince them to give you the same punishment. We inform Global Justice that Team Possible is on sabbatical for the immediate future. The two of you are barred from missions, dates, phone, internet, Kimmunicator, smoke signals, and anything else that allows you to communicate, see, or think about each other."
"Basically," James interjected, "we overreact and treat you like the children we sometimes wish you still were."
"Aaaah," said Ron. "You know, I'm going to have to discuss things with mi-lady, but I'm personally leaning towards option two right now." He turned towards Kim. "What do you think, KP. You down with option two?"
"Summer without you?" Kim scoffed. "SO not happening. I'm going with option two."
"Option two it is!" Ron said. "Although I do have one question... What exactly is option two?"
Anne smiled. "Option two: we treat you like the young adults you actually are. That means that we spend the rest of this flight talking. Frankly. As adults. After that, the two of you make your own decisions. We don't ground you. We don't put Team Possible on hold. We don't prevent you from seeing each other. We don't stop you from dating or missions or..."
Silence followed. Ron and Kim slowly leaned towards Mrs. Possible, waiting for her to finish her sentence. A moment later, they both figured that she wasn't going to finish that sentence. The next moment, they each had an instant revelation. They turned to each other with surprise on their faces. They realized that there was one way to finish that sentence.
"Although we can't tell you where you can and can't do... that," James offered, "I might recommend that you don't do anything while your brothers are at home."
"Not ready for two more of these talks?" Kim meekly asked.
"Well that, and..." James paused. "How do I put this... Your brothers have been on a bit of a spy kick lately and... well, I saw that they had a few blueprints for hidden cameras-"
"EWWW! EWWW! EWWW! EWWW!" cried Kim. She shook her arms as if she was trying to wash the grossness of the idea away from her.
"Calm down, Kimmie-cub," her father pleaded. "We've already told them that anything outside of their room is off limits."
Kim shook herself once more to clear the vile thoughts from her head. She took a breath to gather herself and returned her attention to her parents. "So... option two... we talk and... that's it?"
Anne turned to James, looking for a signal to proceed with their plan. A slight nod was the signal she received. "We talk and that's it. But to be honest, I think your father and I will be doing the talking. You can think of it as practice for dealing with college lectures."
"There is one rule," James said firmly. "You may stop the discussion at any time if you feel uncomfortable. However, if you do, we go back to option one."
Ron and Kim looked at each other to be sure, but there was no way option one was going to come into play. "Fair enough," said Ron as he settled into his seat. Kim thought about doing the same in hers, but instead decided to lift the armrest between them and settled herself under Ron's arm. Neither of them seemed sure of what to expect, but a small squeeze from Ron told her that he was right there with her.
James took a deep breath before he started to talk. "To be quite honest, we knew this day was coming. We were hoping we had a bit more time to prepare for today, but that wasn't in the cards."
He turned towards his wife, which served as her cue to cut in. "Now don't get us wrong. As much as we sometimes want to invent a time-altering device to keep you guys young forever, we know that you're adults now, and sex is something that adults do."
"We're not going to sit here and tell you what you can and can not do," James continued. "We legally lost that right on your eighteenth birthday, and we probably should've lost that right the moment we let you go on missions. We just want you to be able to make good decisions, and as I've always said, the key to a good decision is good information. So right now we-" James stopped his train of thought when he saw Ron slowly raise his hand as if waiting to be called on in class. He gave Ron a slight nod, allowing him to cut in.
"Mr. Dr. P sir?" Ron said through a cracking voice. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that."
James considered Ron's statement for a moment, then he broke into a smile. He gave Ron a hearty slap on the back. "Now that I think of it, I guess I never did say that. Well, let me rephrase; As I've always thought, the key to a good decision is good information. So right now, we're going to give you that information." Once again, James looked to his wife on her cue to continue, but she remained silent. He was about to ask why when Anne jerked her head towards Ron. James turned back to Ron and saw he had raised his hand again. James nodded at Ron.
"Sir, please don't take this the wrong way, but... I already had that talk with my parents. And I took a health class this year with Tim and Jim, remember?"
Anne chuckled. "Oh, no. We're not talking about that information. That's the easy part. Insert Slot A into Tab B and repeat. You guys already have that part down."
"MOM!" cried Kim as her face instantly took a very deep shade of red.
"You know the clinical stuff," continued Anne as she ignored her daughter's embarrassment. "The stuff we're going to be talking about is the human side. Sex can be awkward, embarrassing, and a little painful. But if you take the right approach, it can be fun, exciting... and a little painful, but only if you want it to."
Kim's skin grew even more red. "That is SO much more than I ever wanted to know."
James picked up where his wife left off. "That information can only be gained through experience, so... we're going to share ours with you. Honey, I'll let you start."
"Well I should probably start at the beginning," reminisced Anne. "When I was in my junior year of school, there was this dreamy guy named Roger Fink. He was tall dark and handsome personified. Oh, the things I would dream at night..."
"You wouldn't," uttered a frightened Ron.
"I was able to pull him aside after football practice one day to talk to him," continued Mrs. Possible with a hint of longing in her voice. "He had worked hard that day so he was glistening with sweat. I knew right then that the logical part of my brain had no chance."
"You're not," pleaded Kim.
Anne's lips curled into a wistful smile. "We talked and one thing led to another. Five minutes later, I'm under the bleachers and under him!"
"YOU ARE!" Kim and Ron simultaneously cried as they buried their faces in their own hands.
Anne sighed. "For a long time, I considered that moment to be the best 48 seconds of my life."
"This is SO not happening," Kim tried to reason to nobody in particular.
"Until I met your father, that is, and the night he brought a bottle of honey to my dorm room..."
And so it went for the remaining two hours of the flight. Mrs. and Mr. Possible took turns sharing every encounter, every discovery and every experience they could recall from their past. As Kim and Ron found out, despite their 'square' personae, their encounters, discoveries and experiences were both numerous and outlandish. The good news was that Kim was no longer turning red. The bad news was that she was turning green, and that Ron was joining her. The young couple sank deeper into their seats and felt more and more nauseous with every tidbit of information flung their way.
"From one woman to another, Kim, trust me when I say this: The package may say strawberry-flavored, but they taste nothing like strawberries."
"Needless to say, once Nana found out, she never ate off of that table again."
"To this day, my old college roommates still call me Miss Sticky Fingers."
"When those commercials say see a doctor after four hours, they mean it."
"...and that's why we didn't want you to eat those bananas last month."
"If you keep your mind open, you may enjoy something you never thought you'd like. Oooh, that reminds me, Dr. Porter's coming over for dinner on Wednesday... so you may want to make yourself scarce that night."
That last bit of advice came just moments after the plane landed. The two teens nervously eyed the back hatch, waiting for it to open and free them from the most awk-weird three hours of their lives. Soon (but not soon enough for their liking), daylight started to seep in through the back of the plane as the rear door opened. Instantly Kim and Ron stumbled out of their chairs and desperately dashed for the exit. Once outside, Kim ran to the nearest patch of grass she could find (the airport was too far away), dropped to her knees and started heaving. Ron ran to her side and held her hair back between heaves of his own. Mr. and Mrs. Possible calmly walked out of the vessel moments later and saw the effect their 'information' had on their daughter and potential-future-son-in-law.
James draped an arm over his wife's shoulder. "How long before they even think about sex?" he asked.
"In my expert opinion," Anne replied, "about three weeks."
"Good," James said with a nod. "That should be enough time to get her room soundproofed." He sighed. "How long before they even think about talking to us?"
Anne paused in thought. "Probably twice as long. By the way, thanks for mentioning Wednesday's dinner. It slipped my mind."
James snapped his fingers. "That does remind me, honey... would you be able to make some French dip sandwiches for me to take to work on Thursday?"
A puzzled look crossed Anne's face. "Sure, but why? I thought Vivian wanted chicken marsala, and with as much as I'm making, there will be plenty left over."
"She still does," he answered, "but it's more for appearances' sake."
"What do you mean?"
James smiled slyly. "Be thankful that none of my coworkers are great at catching innuendo. A bunch of us at work were talking about our favorite meals the other day, and Vivian mentioned that she was coming to our place this week, and she said that eagerly looking forward to eating your roast beef." He patted his wife's shoulder then started to make his way to the airport.
Anne gasped and then smiled before following her husband. "She is SO getting punished for that."