The day went by a little slower than usual, by the time Deidara got home; he was having a slight panic attack.

Maybe it was because he didn't want to see his dad passed out drunk on the kitchen floor, maybe because he was still thinking of that red head that pissed him off, or maybe it was because of the letter in his hand.

'Ok, Deidara, you can do this, just rip open the letter and see what it says, just breath.' Slowly, very slowly, he ripped the envelope and took out the letter. Another shaky sigh and looked down the page, only to keep reading and slowly he felt all the weight lift off his chest, he grinned.


Hidan decided that drinks were in order for the good news. Going to Deidara's house, he went to the front door to knock only to be met with screaming.

'What the?' All of a sudden the door opened and Hidan was met with blonde hair crashing into him. Without the proper warning, Hidan and the bomber fell over and onto the dirt.

"Deidara are you ok!" Knowing that when there was screaming inside the house, Deidara would usually be pretty beat up and by the looks of it, he wasn't far off the mark this time. The closer Hidan looked, the better he could see that the blonds face was stained with tears, his right eye was starting to go purple and the usually tanned boy was now pale and slicken with sweat. Forgetting the reason he had come over here, Hidan immediately picked himself up and started to carry Deidara bridal style.

"Deidara, what happened to you?'

"..." Deidara couldn't look Hidan in the eyes, he felt so ashamed of what happened, it was his entire fault, if he hadn't been so stupid, none of this would have happened. There was no one else to blame but himself.

Hidan knew completely what the broken boy in his arms was thinking.

"Sunshine?" Hoping that the affectionate name would gave him a response, still, nothing happened.

Hidan again sighed and looking back at the house, he put Deidara into the back seat and started to drive, hoping to go as far away as he possibly could from the house that held so many painful memories for his friend. Looking back at Deidara, Hidan couldn't help but wipe away the tears that were threatening to spill...This was it, Deidara had been pushed over the end again and whenever that happened, Deidara would become unresponsive. That would last for a while and then the blonde would seem to come back to life, at least, that was what Hidan thought the last time this had happened


Hidan and Deidara were only 15 when the first 'moment' happened. It had been an exceptionally bad week for the blonde and Hidan was worrying. The blonde had been unresponsive for three days now and wasn't eating anything, it was a challenge to get the blonde to drink but he had managed it, even if it was just a few sips every couple of hours. Deidara looked dead in Hidan's eyes. Sighing, the platinum haired boy walked over to the kitchen, hoping he could coax his friend into eating and having a few sips of water. When he got back though, Hidan was surprised to see that the blonde was standing up, a smile on his face that didn't quiet reach his eye, Hidan didn't notice that smile though. He also didn't notice that eyes held a certain glint in them. Maybe if Hidan see these signs, he could have stopped what happened.

It was a couple of hours after Deidara had seemed to come out of his trance. Hidan thought everything was fine. He was currently waiting for Deidara to come out of the bathroom so they could go out to eat but as time ticked on, Hidan started to get impatient.

'I wonder what's taking so fricken long in the bathroom, I swear to Jashin that if he doesn't hurry up, I castrate him. Sighing (Cause Hidan does that a lot lol) He strutted upwards, and knocked on the bathroom door.



"...Deidara? You feeling ok? I didn't mean it, you know how I get when I'm hungry...Deidara?"

All Hidan heard was silence and...Did he smell copper? Hidan knew the smell of blood anywhere and was now starting to panic a little.

"DEIDARA!" With no answer, Hidan proceeded to knocking down the door with his shoulder. What Hidan saw still made him gag to this day whenever he thought about it. Laying there in the tub was Deidara; two completely symmetrical slits marred his neck...Wait...Deidara...Blood...

End Flashback

(Hidan's POV)

I remember exactly how Deidara looked laying in my bathtub; it still haunts me whenever I think about it. He's my best friend, always has and always will. It physically hurt me whenever I thought how close I was to losing him. You see, I've always been alone until Deidara came into my life. We meet back in grade one. I was the kid that parents told their kids to stay away from, and I can't blame them. Honestly, I was fucked up back then, still am, but no matter what all the kids said about me back then, my little blonde friend was always there for me, telling the other kids to back off or else he would 'bite their peepees off'...Ya...We were 'it' after that...Ok in our heads, but honest to Jashin, ever since we met, I never had suicidal thoughts.*

I was harshly awakened from my thoughts when I heard Deidara in the back moan. I felt so helpless like I did back then. To see the only person who cared about me in such a state was starting to take a toll on me. I had to get Deidara back to my house where I would have to watch him constantly, until I knew for sure that he would be ok and not be a danger to himself. It was again quiet when we got to the halfway mark to my house, no more thoughts that I could hide myself in.

When I pulled up to my apartment, I took Deidara and cradled him in my arms. He seemed so fragile and delicate. He looked sickly, his eyes blank, and honest to god, it scared me a little bit, wondering what he could be thinking...If he could be thinking about how to end his life. I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time today as I trudged through the hallways leading to my door. My eyes watered from the thick stench that filled the air, leaving everything to look hazy. After I had...Left...My parents. I've had to defend for myself and right now, all I could afford was the crappiest apartment in Tokyo, there wasn't even a bathroom in my 'home' There was only four bathrooms throughout the whole building and currently only two worked.

Now inside, I quickly locked the door and out Deidara on the futon. It was hard to see since it was so dark but I couldn't pay my bills this month so instead of kicking me out, the landlord cut my electricity, damn fucking bastards.

One last sigh and I looked around for a blanket that I could put over Deidara, finally just settling with giving him my only cover on top of my bed, I'll just cover up with sweaters. Finally deeming that that was all I could do for him at this moment, I laid down on the ground next to the futon and waited for sleep to take me..."OH HARDER, RIGHT THERE IUKA I-AHH"



The next morning I woke up to quiet footsteps in my apartment, that was weird, there was only me and Deidara here today. I opened my eyes and looked around. By the counter was Deidara eating cereal, with a blank stare. I hesitantly took a step forward, not sure what to do. I wanted to ask Deidara what was wrong but not sure how to without making him withdraw from me again. I deemed that he looked ok for now so I just sat down on the couch, not really focusing on anything but at the same time, focusing on everything, Deidara wasn't going to go suicidal on me again.

(Deidara's POV)

I knew that Hidan was watching me, he tried to act like he didn't care but deep down I could tell that he was more than worried for me. It hurt me to see him beating himself up over something that he had no control over. It wasn't his fault and yet he was taking it all out on himself. Another person that's hurting because of me. I looked around one last time and headed toward the door. As my footsteps became quieter, Hidan began to focus on me again. He wasn't going to leave me alone for awhile but I really needed to pee! Hidan got up and we started making our way towards the two bathrooms in the whole building. Honestly, it was quiet disgusting to urinate in there, hehe urinate. Ya I was a child sometimes but don't judge! Ok, now that I'm more or less to my normal self, I really wish that Hidan would stop looking at me like that, kinda like how Orochimaru kept on looking at me back when he was our high school teacher. I don't know what happened to him, except that he was creapin on some kid Sasuke and got fired. Anywhore, lol anywhore, but anyway, Hidan was starting to make me feel uneasy. I went to relieve myself in one of the stalls but Hidan had other plans. I didn't know he was gay. Everytime I asked him, he would deny it but telling me to piss out in the open made me think otherwise.

I started to get hungry so me and Hidan went to get some fast food, I made a little money during my last art show, so we went to eat at Saigon Noodles. I was pretty hungry so I was quiet happy when we got there. I got up out of the car, running towards the door, limbs wailing everywhere but I couldn't help it, It was Pad Thai for fucks sake!

Once in there and acting a little more civil, Hidan and I settled down. He was still giving me weird looks but I tried to ignore him, focusing more on the speck of dirt on the table, it suddenly became interesting to me.

"Deidara, we need to talk about what happened." There it was.

"..." God, I felt horrible but I just wanted to break down when I thought about it.

"Deidara, please, I beg of you and lord Jashin that if you don't say something I'm going to enlist you into that The Meguro Counseling Center, you know I will." I didn't know what to say, what could I say? 'Hey Hidan, do you know what my dad does to me? Every day I wonder if he's going to kill me, no, actually I would welcome that, I'm scared that my life is in his hands, someday, I could become like that.' Ha, ya, like that would be a good conversation starter.

"Hidan, I don't know what you want me to say, He beats me, you know that but what can I do about it? Fucking nothing! You know why? He has my life in the palm of his hands, he holds me like I'm a fucking puppet. One jerk of his strings and I do his bidding, wither I want to or not. He OWNS me and it hurts so damn much. So I'm sorry Hidan if I don't want to talk about it so leave me the fuck alone un." God, I can't believe I just told him that. We were saved from any awkward silence when the waitress came and brought us our food. The speck on the table was becoming my best friend right now.


The drive back to Hidan's home was worse than back in the restaurant. I just wanted to cry right now but I refrained from doing so in Hidan's presence. I guess Hidan still didn't trust me because next thing I knew, I was laying down in Hidan's bed, even though it was only one in the afternoon.



Deidara woke up around five, he could distantly smell of burnt Chawanmushi. Deciding that it would be best to get up and mend things with Hidan so things wouldn't be as awkward, Deidara went towards the kitchen and grabbed a plate.


At the sudden noise, Hidan jumped and spilt all the Soiled egg over his only semi-clean shirt,


Standing in the mess of broken glass, was Deidara with a smile bigger then Julia Roberts, which considering, is pretty freakin creepy.

"Deidara? are you ok?" Deidara didn't even look back as he ran out of the house.

As soon as Deidara ran outside, he ran towards the nearest train station. Paying for a ticket, Deidara only prayed that he would get back in time.

When Deidara neared his house, he couldn't help but feel his heart start to quicken its pace. All he wanted to do was crawl into a ball and comfort himself but he had to be strong, this was his only chance he had to be free of his father. Quickly sucking in a breath, Deidara slowly walked towards the from door, opened it and looked around, so far everything was turning out ok, swallowing his fears, he quietly walked into the house and into the kitchen, and immediately saw that the letter was still on the kitchen table. Deidara couldn't believe his luck. Running towards the table, he grabbed what felt like his freedom and snuck out the door. If only he knew that in the shadows of the night, a disfigured object loomed from the depth of the bushes, the figure couldn't help but smile, everything was coming along perfectly.

Hello all my reader (Probably don't have a lot) But I wanted to say sorry and that this was way over due. I don't actually have an excuse except that I had no clue what to write and wasn't even sure if my idea was good enough. Anywhore, I have a few announcements to make

-First off, I still really need a beta so if you're interested the please PM me, It would help me out.

-Secondly, I would like to thank Mitchi, I didn't thank you in my last chapter but I really do appreciate the comments you have gave me so far and hope you keep on reviewing

-Thirdly, please, read and review, it would make my day to read what you guys have to say, it would totally make me write faster. Flame is welcome just, you know, just don't make some crap review saying I shouldn't write anymore cause you know, thats just not cool lol.

So I know that this has nothing to do with my story but just wondering, how many of you have been chased by a moose? Just wondering cause my mom did which was freaking hilarious. All you can see is two dogs and my mom booking it towards the house with a moose on their heels XD Made my day.

One last thing, I'm very sorry for grammar and any other mistakes. As I said, I need a beta and also Its like really late and I'm over tired so ya sorry.