For some reason, this has been knocking around in my noggin for weeks, so I am hoping writing it will get it out

This is strictly PWP and it's also Wincest, so if that ain't your thing, fair enough, don't read it.

The bathroom floor is a myriad of different colors of dirt, and Sam stares at it fascinated as he feels the stranger move behind him. His forehead is resting heavily against the stall door and his chest feels full, as if he can barely breathe. He hates this as much as he needs it. He can't help but feel disgusted at himself, but he needs release and this is the only way he can get it. His cock is so hard in his jeans and when strange, rough hands reach around to undo the button and release him he whimpers with relief. His jeans and boxers are dragged down and the hands are on his ass.

Hot breath on his ear as the guy speaks to him for the first time since entering the bathroom. The voice is all wrong, but the words are the ones he wants to hear.

"Couldn't fucking believe my luck when I saw you walk in here tonight. So fucking huge and gorgeous, can't wait to get my cock inside your tight ass." Sam groans at the words, wishing once again that this wasn't what he HAD to do. He held off as long as he could, but after months with Dean 3 feet away from him constantly, this is how he made it through. This is how he keeps his brother from knowing what a disgusting sick fuck he was. So every now and again, he walks into a bar and sees a guy who is just close enough in looks or swagger that he can pretend it's who he really wants, and he gets fucked in a dirty bathroom. He isn't proud of it, but if it means he can keep his sanity for a few months longer, he will deal.

He hears the tell tale sound of foil ripping and steadies his breathing, knowing that the first moments will hurt but the burn will be worth it. He clamps his eyes shut tight so he can live in the fantasy of this being Dean and not some random hook up.

The bathroom door slams open with a loud bang and Sam's stomach drops on the floor as he hears his brother's voice.

"Sammy?" Dean comes around the corner and Sam keeps his eyes shut, not wanting to see the disgust on Dean's face when he realizes that his little brother is about to get fucked by a stranger. He doesn't want Dean to see the shame and naked want on his face either.

Dean's voice booms in the small bathroom as he rounds the corner and sees Sam up against the wall. "Get the fuck away from him," he roars and Sam feels the guy being pushed away from him.

Sam rasps out, shame coloring his words, "Dean, its OK, he wasn't forcing me, I wanted it." His face is red and tears are prickling his eyelids.

Sam turns his head and meets Dean's eyes and he doesn't see disgust, he sees confusion and anger, and something else he can't name. The stranger is pulling up his pants and with a sneer looks at Sam and says,

"Is this why the only thing you said to me was 'Call me Sammy while you fuck me?' This guy? Well fuck you, next time you want to make your boyfriend jealous, don't drag me into it." He leaves the bathroom, the door banging shut echoing off the walls.

Sam rests his head against the stall door once again, the tears in his eyes seeping into his words. "Dean, please, just leave me alone."

He hears Dean move behind him, but he isn't prepared for how close he is when his brother finally speaks. His words are a whisper of heat at Sam's ear and despite his shame Sam feels his cock stiffening at the proximity.

"Why didja want him to call you Sammy?" Dean is pressed up to him and Sam almost wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of the question.

"Do you really want me to answer that, big brother? I don't think you want to hear it. Just give me a few fucking minutes by myself and we can pretend this never happened, all right?" He knows he is almost begging, but Dean isn't moving, and Sam bangs his head against the stall in frustration.

He is unprepared for what happens next. He feels Dean's hands on his back sliding down and coming to rest on his still bare ass. He jerks and turns his head looking at his brother. "Dean? What the fu-" and his voice breaks off when Dean squeezes his ass just this side of painful.

Dean looks almost thoughtful and looks up from his hands still on Sam's ass. "You wanted him to be me fucking you?"

Sam groans and tries to squirm away but there is back towards Dean or the door on the stall so its not like he has any room.

"Fuck Dean, seriously, j-just lemme go, all right? I have weird thoughts and this is how I deal with them. I-I know its sick and wrong and I would never do anything, OK? Don't leave me, I promise I won't ever try anything, I can't fucking help it. I know you are disgusted by me right now. Ju-just gimme a minute, please Dean." Tears are streaking down his face now and he is almost nauseous with the shame and guilt that is bubbling inside him.

Suddenly he feels Dean plastered against his back and something hard grinding on his ass, and his breath feels pushed out of his body in a gasp.

"Does that feel like I am disgusted little brother?" Dean grinds against him again and Sam arches back, chasing the feeling of Dean's denim-clad cock on his ass.

"Don't fuck with me Dean, please, this isn't funny." Sam tries desperately to clamp down on the hope surging through him, his brain refusing to process that this is actually happening.

Dean chuckles behind him sofly and his hands span around Sam's waist, dragging him backwards against Dean's chest. His voice is whiskey rough and his hips keep up the slow grind while his hands sneak up the front of Sam's shirt, stroking his chest. His lips are on Sam's neck, tongue tracing tendons, teeth nipping at the flesh.

Between hot, wet kisses, bites and licks, Dean starts talking.

"First time I realized I wanted to fuck you was when you were 16. Came home early and went to our bedroom. You were jerking off on the bed, and had two fingers in your ass. I went from nothing to hard in about 5 seconds. I watched you for a minute or two and then had to rush to the bathroom and jerk off. Whole time all I could think about was wanting that to be my dick in your ass."

Sam's brain sputter stops at Dean's words.

"W-what?" He can't believe what he just heard, but Dean's still kissing his neck and one of his hands moves slowly down Sam's stomach and circles his stiff cock and Sam hears himself moan and thrusts into Dean's hand before pushing back to grind against him.

"Wanted you forever, Sam, just didn't know you wanted it too. Now that we are on the same page-" His fingers stroke Sam's cock and he groans again, and manages to moan the words.

"Dean fuck, please."

"Yeah Sammy. Gonna fuck you. Don't like our first time being in some skanky bathroom, but I can't fucking wait. You want that Sam? You want me to fuck you?"

Sam breath is coming in short pants and his moaning is almost obscenely loud but he manages to get out, "That day you came h-home and I was jerking off? I was imagining you fucking me. First time I used my fingers on myself, picturing my big brother fucking me into the mattress."

He hears Dean groan in the back of his throat and suddenly he is spun around facing Dean, and Dean's mouth is on his. He groans into the kiss, tongue licking into Dean's mouth, his almost painfully hard cock grinding against Dean's. Dean's hands snake around to his ass and Sam feels one of his calloused fingers circling his hole and moans into Dean's mouth.

"Prepped myself before we left the motel tonight. Was hoping I would get lucky." He feels his cheeks burn at the admission but he is so turned on he can't bring himself to care. He is rewarded by Dean's finger slipping easily into his lubed hole. Dean's lips are on his jaw and he pants out,

"Fucking hottest thing I have ever heard. Next time I want to get you ready though. Watch you fuck yourself on my fingers, take your big cock in my mouth and make you come before I even start fucking you. But right now, I just need to fuck you Sam."

Sam arches into Dean licking at his mouth, biting his lips and says, "Fuck yes." He turns back against the stall and arches his back presenting his ass to Dean. He hears him chuckle softly and the sound of Dean opening his jeans. Sam reaches down to stroke himself, moaning softly at the feeling.

He feels Dean's cock at his entrance and widens his legs, feeling like the sluttiest whore in the world and not caring. He needs Dean in him right the fuck now.

Dean takes his time, pushing past the first ring slowly, stopping every few seconds to allow Sam to adjust, but Sam can't wait and he thrusts himself back, impaling himself on Dean's cock fully. He is rewarded by a short burst of pain that melts away almost instantly.

"Fuck Sam," he hears Dean mutter through clenched teeth and he moves forward a little bit, loving the full feeling of Dean inside him. Dean grabs his hips and pulls almost out before slamming back into him and Sam sees fucking stars its so good.

Dean fucks him slowly, and Sam is thrusting backwards onto him, wanting it hard, rough and fast. Dean's words are only turning him on more, he should have known his brother was a fucking talker during sex.

"God Sam, fuck, so tight. Gonna fuck you so many times you won't be able to walk. Might have to take some time off for it. No more fucking strangers in bathrooms, Sam. Your ass belongs to me now."

Sam huffs out a strangled laugh and feels himself racing towards orgasm at the words. Dean wants him like this, all the time. He feels Dean's hand reach around and circle his cock and his orgasm slams out of him almost instantly, his brothers name on his lips as he spills his release. Dean's moans behind him and his hips stutter and thrust into him a few more times before he shoots his load into Sam.

Both of them are panting and coming down and Sam's stomach clenches at the thought that Dean might end up regretting this. Maybe he'll think it's a mistake, maybe he will leave Sam.

Dean's voice cuts into his thoughts. "Stop thinking so fucking hard, your ruining the afterglow."

He slaps Sam on the ass as he pulls out and tucks himself back in. Sam stoops to pull his own pants up, biting his lip and trying to not look like he is freaking the fuck out.

He turns and faces Dean, sees him for the first time and every fear in his head disappears. His beautiful brother is staring at him like he is the one who invented pie, the love and desire for him written so plainly on his face.

Dean smiles at him, leaning up to kiss him, his tongue sweeping into Sam's mouth and Sam wraps his arms around him. Dean pulls slightly away and in between small kisses he places on Sam's lips says, "I meant it Sam. Just us, no more hook ups. Not gonna share you now that I finally got you."

Sam smiles back, dimples etched into his cheeks and says, "Same here, I catch with another waitress and I will fucking kill you."

Dean laughs and pulls out of Sam's embrace. "Like any waitress could compare to your ass. Lets get out of here. You hungry?" He cocks an eyebrow at Sam and Sam laughs at how normal it feels. They can have this. They are going to have this. He feels like dancing and shouting but knows Dean will never let him live it down.

"I could eat."