A/N: This one is very much a crack fic. ^^" It is after the Wanderer meets Donna. This story is based off of David Tenant's rant about hating pears (watch this short video if you don't know what I mean go to youtube and add this to the end of the web address:
This one-shot drabble crackish fic popped into my head, and I needed to write it down! Even if no one else finds it funny, I love it~
"No no no! Don't DO that!" The Doctor whined loudly at the smoking console. He rushed around the console, hitting buttons and generally looking frantic. The Wanderer watched on in amusement.
"When will you ask for my help, Thete?" She smirked and placed a spoonful of fruit in her mouth nonchalantly, ignoring the Doctor's outburst at his TARDIS.
"I've been flying her for longer than-" he paused in the middle of his sentence and looked up, paying no mind to the high-pitched noise emerging from the controls. "What are you eating?" He looked at her, his gaze curious and accusatory. She frowned at his unspoken accusation.
Her eyes darted from him to the console and she clicked her tongue disapprovingly, "Shouldn't you be flying?"
"...I smell pears..." He stepped towards her and was oblivious to the loud pop from the center of the control room.
"Pears? I dunno if these are pears... But they are a delightfully delicious Earth snack!" She grinned broadly and took another bite, "Maybe I should fly the TARDIS for a while." She chuckled but was stopped short when he leaned closer towards her.
The center console was beginning to catch fire in a few places. Of course, the Doctor's inquisition continued as he snatched the bowl away from her. He peered inside and indeed, what he saw there was a chopped up pear. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Meanwhile, hearing the commotion, Donna rushed out prepared for the worst. But she wasn't prepared for what she saw.
"Doctor! What the hell are you doing?" Donna sputtered, rushing towards him.
The Time Lords were paying no mind to her, as the Doctor had his back to Donna and the Wanderer was too busy laughing to notice the human behind the man lecturing her.
"How dare you bring pears on board, you KNOW that I hate them!"
Donna stood there.
She stood there in disbelief for a few minutes.
She watched the Doctor rant about pears, and she heard the TARDIS' high-pitched humming noise, more like squealing, from behind her. If the situation weren't so dire, she'd be laughing along with the Wanderer.
Instead, she gripped the Doctor's shoulder and turned him around. A resounding smack echoed through the control room as her hand connected with the Doctor's cheek. He dropped the bowl of pears, which shattered to leave only bits of glass and the pale yellow fruit on the floor. "Fly. The damn. TARDIS. NOW, Timeboy!" She glared and pushed him towards the console.
He rubbed his cheek, "Donna," he whined, "That hurt!" His eyes widened, and his brain seemed to finally recognize the trouble they were in. He hurriedly put out the fire, and flew them all to safety.
He landed the TARDIS safely somewhere on the planet Calutrax, setting the time on random. He wasn't sure of when, and only vaguely aware of where, but that didn't matter. It was unimportant. He had a more important matter to deal with. A problem of giant proportions
"Wanderer," he stepped towards her.
"Doctor," she stood up with a cheeky grin.
"Bring a pear on board again, and-"
Donna cut him off, "You let up nearly crash and DIE because she ate a pear!" She stared at him incredulously.
"But Donna, I hate pears...!" He whined. The Wanderer watched the two argue. She chuckled when Donna smacked the Doctor for a second time, earning her yet another protesting whine.