"Love; What is Love?" Love is deceptive, cruel, and misleading!
When your heart is full of this poison called, "Love" it feels as it is very combustible, or feels like it wants to explode and just give out the feelings you have to someone. Your heard is mainly focused on 1 of 2 people and thats a boyfriend/girlfriend, and friends that just don't know you like them that much, in that way.
The only comforter for your heart is the beholder of your love. There is only one case where noon EVER should say, "I Love You!" The situation is say the first couple of weeks of your relastionship. I hate how it is somethings just end at a brutal hault in life, but theres just somethings that have to be done in that manner.
I completely ended up quiting my last relationship with disgust, regret, and a feeling of it all being my fault. My ex-girlfriend totaly obliterated my heart, and she acted as if she didn't even care. I guess i was nothing to her, but a microscopic piece of sand running dont the tight tunnel of a hour-glass. It felt as if I was a puppet, and she could just fiddle with my emotions like every other string was an emotion of mine.
She carelessly chose the younger male; "Why?" well would i like to know also! She knew I could support her alot better than this kid she chose. The heft that was left on my harshly heartbroken heart led me to assume that I would have to envounter the younger male. Was I scared; no, not even the littlest amount.
The whole dilemma has made me more irate in life over the course of months. I'm glad nothing escalated to an extreme high, that would cause a brutal conflict between us to guys. By me always telling her everyday; "I Love You" is where I learned that was my foolish mistake. He sabotaged our relationship, and this was after all the new conflicts I had already been through all my life. I believe the whole little episode between us was very unnessassary!
Since then my inner-most-eternal fear is not being able to find a girl right for me and myself right for that lucky girl. Whoever she maybe. I had no moral support I lived through the heartaces alone, I stayed in the dark and i never wanted to show my face ever agian. Our conversations were so nice, romantic, and overall just down right touching. For instance, I said , "Baby. if we are together long after highschool, and end up getting married years later I just want you to know I love you and I will never let you go not even if God tryed to take you away!" But then she said, "I Love Your too. but we will never know because it all depends on what happens day after day.
Those final words she spoke to me, the ones that burried my heart, soul, and emotions with them still sicken me to this very day. Her final words were, "I Love You, but hes been here all my life we've known eachother for years." Boy was that a lie if she really loved me she would have told me about him before she started to make a decision on who to choose. "I love You, but I Love him at the same time, I hope you understand!" I replied, "No, you cannot love both of us evenly so good luvk to y'all i don't care.!"
After I spoke those words I felt my heart Rip, Crumble, and Sink deep into my chest. It had felt as if GOD laid millions of pounds of cement on my heart. I could not breath, for 10 minutes I was wishing for all the pain to stop, and just go away so very far away!
Yes, it was very painful to say goodbye, but i had to. I now stumble into the future wondering where is that; "True Love!" I don't really know for sure, but i hope I find it soon because my heart can't take it much longer. I don't know Who, What, When, or Where that love will be, but I hope their close enough to see my heartbroken plea. GOD has a plan for me, "What Exactly?" I have no clue only he knows what rests for me.