Title: Shining Stars
Pairing: James x Reader [Third Star]
Notes: Get tissues. Just get them. I was crying when I was writing the end. - M.
"Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars." - J.R.R Tolkien
"What would you do if I died today?"
"I'd die tomorrow."
The shores of Barafundle bay were beautiful under the stars and moonlight. You had tagged along with Davy, Bill and Miles. James had decided to go on a hiking trip, last minute, and his mother begged you to go along with them to make sure he was alright. You had told her that you would tag along if he would let you, which he did. He had said that he was going to ask you to come along with them, which gathered a couple of "No girls aloud." from the guys. You said, jokingly, that you were tagging along unless that they wanted James' mother to tag along. Which they shut up about and gained a chuckle out of James.
"What's that supposed to mean?" You popped your head up off of his shoulder and raised up, looking at him, you both were laying on the beach, looking at the sky. "I mean, would you die for me? You couldn't live your life without me?" he asked looking into your eyes, you couldn't speak looking into his eyes. Even though he was sick, his eyes remained the same, bright and sparkling. "I couldn't go on without you. You are my rock." you said whole-heartedly. He seemed deep in thought about what you said. He smiled softly at you and leaned up to brush a lock of hair behind your ear, "I wouldn't go on without you either, [Name]" he said softly. "Why are you asking?"
He layed back down on the dry sand, looking up at the stars. "[Name], lay down." "What?" "Come on.." you sighed softly and layed down next to him. He put a arm around you and pulled you close, like you were his lifeline, and you put your head back upon his shoulder, looking at the sky. "Do you see them?" he asked softly, you smiled softly, "Yeah." he smiled, "Each star is unique, like you..." he said, you interupted, "And you." he chuckled, "I'm not unique." You shook your head, "No, you are. Don't say otherwise." he didn't say anything in response but continued, "The light up the sky and keep the light shining, but only the brightest get seen. There are millions and millions more of them, but we don't see them. Some people are like that, they aren't as bright as other people but they are brilliant and unique." You listened quietly as he spoke. "We will all be stars one day, we just hope to be the brightest and to be seen. I hope that, brightest or not, you'll be able to see me shine." you looked up at him, "I do. I have. I always will, James." you said quietly.
He smiled softly, his eyes still upon the sky. "I hope that one day we will be stars in the universe, together and shining." he said with a smile and looked at you. "My love burns like a million stars. a million comets and falling stars. Thats how much I love you.." He hadn't said he loved you before so it caught you off guard. "James..I.." He cut you off by kissing your forehead. "I know you love me too. Things are going to change quickly, [Name]. You won't be prepared enough, this I know, and I'm sorry. I can't say that enough." What? What did he mean? "James, what do you mean, things are going to change?" he pulled you closer to him and kissed your head. "I..can't do this anymore, [Name]. I can't, I..I can't live like this. I won't be able to take the pain and I won't be able to look at people because all they'll say is that they feel bad for me or that they'll cry and especially, can't see you cry over me." He said softly. "I caught you earlier. I can't do this anymore [Name]." You blinked back tears, he was going to- "No. I won't let you, James. You can't do this!"
"[Name]-" "James, please, I can't do this.." "I won't even be myself, the pain will be my life, I won't be me." He said softly, you hadn't remembered when you had started crying softly, "James..I-I can't let you do this, I can't do this and think if we had more time. I can't look at your family knowing that I let you die. I can't..do..this." you sobbed into his shirt. Why was the world against you two? If it wasn't, it sure felt that way. He held you and rubbed your back softly, "[Name]. If I could,I would let us have more time. Infinity, perhaps...but I can't-" "James, please. You don't know what will happen to me, either way I'll lose you, but if I had the choice I would have you longer than for you to die now. I can't lose you now. Not..right..now." you said your voice getting quiter at the end.
He didn't say anything, just held you as you cried softly into his shirt. After a while you felt a couple of teardrops on your head, you looked up at him and into his eyes, seeing him crying. He rarely even cried around you ever since he found out about his cancer or ever in general. He held you when he told you about the diagnosis. Ever since then nothing was the same, life went on and people laughed and cried and smiled, but James never let anyone see him cry. You cried along with him, just holding him to you.
You eventually fell asleep on his chest, he never slept that night, just watching you sleep. He murmured to himself, "I love you more than a thousand forevers. I love you more than a thousand infinities." he planted a kiss on your head and sighed as he watched the sky, "Time is a bitch." he whispered to no-one in perticular.
The morning came to soon for him and he woke you up gently, you blinked, looking around and then finally up at him. He smiled softly at you, "Good morning, beautiful." you blushed and buried your face in his shirt. Davy came out of the tent and chuckled, "You guys' sleep out here all night?" James smiled and nodded, "She slept more than me." "Of course she did." he chuckled, "Hey Davy, do me a favor." "Anything, mate." "Why don't you two go and get some fresh water, I saw a stream not too far away..." Davy smiled and nodded, "Come on, [Name]. He's too picky about everything." "Am not!" "Are too!" You smiled and James leaned up and kissed you deeply, you wrapped your arms around his neck, breaking away you smiled brightly "Be right back..love you." "Love you, too, beautiful." "Oh stop it!" He grinned and you and Davy set out for the stream. "So, did you..like..um." "Davy!" you playfully slapped his arm "Stop it!" a blush made its way to your cheeks.
You and Davy quickly got to the stream and filled the bottle up and were on your way back to the bay. You felt something in the pit of your stomach but quickly disregarded it, smiling at Davy, which he returned.
Once over the hill you saw the three of them on the beach and smiled going down to the camp, setting the bottle down, Davy quickly turned you around to face him. "Davy? What is it?" Davy responded by pulling you close to him and hugged you tightly. "Davy, what's wrong? Davy?" You tried to pull out of his grasp, "Davy!" You broke out of his grasp and fell on the sand, seeing the three of them. You gasped slowly. No. No. This couldn't be happening, not only ten minutes ago was he laughing and smiling at you. "James!" You quickly ran over to them, Bill and Miles didn't say anything as you approched them. You saw James and could tell that he was dead and fell on your knees. Tears quickly coming to your eyes, Miles looked at you and you could tell he was crying too. "I'm sorry. I'm so..so..so sorry." he said softly.
After a moment, Bill spoke up, "He..he wanted me to give this to you, [Name]." In his hand was a white envelope with your name written on the front in his handwriting. You took it in your hands and opened it slowly.
I'm sorry to have left you like this. I didn't want to, last night when you told me that you didn't want me to go, it left me heartbroken that I was going to do this. I don't want you to be sad. I know you will be, but I want you to know that everytime you look at the stars, remember I'll be up there watching over you. I'll shine brightly for you and only you.
Till we are together again and we have infinity,
You were sobbing by the end of the letter, why did he have to die? You didn't realize that bill had picked you up and started back for the camp and after a few days you were headed back home. When you got home, you didn't talk to anyone and knew it was probably best not to see his family.
One night as you were getting ready for bed, you stepped out side, tightening your robe around you. You looked up at the stars and noticed there was one bright star and then it twinkled like his eyes and you knew, you just knew, he was watching over you.