Dark Green

By Miss Moony

Disclaimer: I do not own any parts of a Series of Unfortunate Events. Which is surely my chance, for it is so unfortunate that I should not want to own it. We must thank Lemony Snicket for being courageous enough to undertake the task of telling the truth behind the story of the Baudelaire Orphans.

Author's note: After trying for months to get a Series of Unfortunate Events section up, I just gave up. . . . and then LOOK! LOOK! YOU PEOPLE ARE WONDERFUL!!! Now I can finally put up musings about my favourite people – the Quagmire Triplets!

By the way, the Daily Punctilio said that a movie will be made on The Bad Beginning. Let's hope, FOR ONCE, that it's not a misprint.

"The world is quiet here."


Dark Green

Part I of the Triplet Notebooks Duology

She sits, staring pensively out the window. Young, attractive Violet Baudelaire, aspiring inventor and heir to the much sought-after Baudelaire fortune.

This reporter is proud to confess is acquaintanceship with the charming girl of 14-and-a-half years old, of whom this article for the Quagmire-Baudelaire Published is written. Due to the apparent lack of interest from other newspapers, it is this publication's duty to report the facts of Violet Baudelaire's dreadful story.

Lovely, yet melancholy, Miss Baudelaire has shown extreme resilience as she has been targeted on multiple occasions by Count Olaf, who has been convicted of murder and attempted murder, robbery and attempted robbery, fraud and attempted fraud, blackmail and attempted blackmail, assault and attempted assault, bribery and attempted bribery, and poor hygiene.

One month ago, Violet Baudelaire and her two younger siblings, Klaus and Sunny, were informed by a tall man with a cough (who has requested anonymity for the purpose of this article) that her parents had recently perished in a fire. Since the incident, Miss Baudelaire and her kin have been housed in numerous households and guarded by numerous guardians as previously mentioned Olaf pursued them in attempt to end their lives and steal their fortune.

And it is fortune, though of a different type, that brought Miss Baudelaire to Prufrock Preparatory School, where she encountered this reporter. And, it is planned, with the help of said reporter, she will defeat Count Olaf, and adore this reporter as much as he adores herβ€”

Duncan Quagmire dropped his pen quickly and closed his dark green notebook in a swift motion. Violet had noticed him staring at her, and he felt his cheeks burn as he struggled to look interested in the Banana Man's stories. Besides, he realized, he'd have to rip that page out. Aspirations aren't the same thing as fact, and journalists like Dorothy Parker only wrote the truth, not silly childhood dreams.

Vice Principle Nero entered the room and began lecturing the students on their disrespect towards geniuses. Duncan sighed, turning away from the self-annointed – a word which here means "thinks he's better than Lemony Snicket" – Vice Principle and staring out the window.

Still, predictions were okay, as long as you made sure to label them as opinion. So, if Duncan should choose to predict a future with Violet. . . his cheeks blazed like fire and he tightened his grip on his notebook, willing himself to think of other things.

Some things would never happen.

I love Duncan! As much as I love Klaus and Lemony! They're all SO GOSH DARN COOL!