"Hidan, ever wondered something, un?" asked Deidara, his hands between his spread legs set on the chair.

"Yeah, I have. I've wondered what the fuck you do when you're alone," answered Hidan with a grin. "You really sound like you're in pain or something. I've listened at the door but what the hell goes on I haven't a clue of."

"Un?" The blond blushed. "Figure it out."

"You cut yourself or something? Is that what goes on with all those "oh"s and "ah"s and "uh"s? I don't get you at all, Deidara, I thought you agreed that pain was shitty." The white-haired man leaned on his hands and sighed.

Deidara realized, Hidan generally had no idea. "Hidan? You don't know, do you, un?"

"Don't know what?"

"So you don't." Deidara put his hand over Hidan's mouth and smirked. "I'll show you why I make such sounds."

Hidan blushed, realizing that Deidara was... kissing, him. He grabbed the other man's arm and tore it away from his mouth. "What the fuck, Deidara?" yelled the man, his own hand over his mouth. "You... Fuck you! Just tell me!" He slightly jumped when Deidara pulled his Akatsuki cloak from his shoulder.

"Just tell me, you really don't even know what I could be doing alone, do you, un?"

"Of-of course not," Hidan blushed, shaking as the other man's hand moved down his chest, to his abdomen, to his- "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUCHING?" He kicked the other man in face and ran off. Deidara watched as the door slammed shut.

The next day, at morning, Hidan glared across the table at Deidara. "Not hungry." His eyes narrowed at the younger man, his look serious. His food was still there. "Didn't you hear me? I'm NOT-FUCKING-HUNGRY!"

Kakuzu whacked him on the head as Konan sighed from next to Pein. "You have to eat, Hidan." Her voice was very cold.

"No I don't! I'm freaking immortal and I can't eat right now!" he yelled at the top of his voice. Itachi jumped at the other end of the table, dropping his dango on his plate. Hidan sighed, how could he eat? He didn't have an appetite that morning at all.

"Hidan, you've got to eat, un," Deidara said with a heavy breath.

"Like I'll listen to you."

There was heavy tension in the air, coming from Hidan, and clearly directed towards Deidara. He would normally have the blond as the only one he listened to - but now? Fuck no. It was bad enough he had to spend his days off around the teen, so he would have trouble avoiding him. The last person on Earth he would listen to was Deidara now. Because things had gotten complicated, all thanks to a couple of minutes that scared the living shit out of Hidan.

"I'm going to go comb my hair," Hidan insisted, even though it looked like it usually did, and he had already combed it before coming into the dining room. "Konan, I've got some problems with the seating of this table, so I'll take it up with you when I get back."

How long did Hidan spend in the bathroom combing his hair? Probably a few hours, he would guess. But didn't matter anyway to him. He spent a short time usually, but a long time that day. "Damn it," he leaned over the sink. "What's happening to me? I've become some kind of a pussy."

Quickly, he ran back to the dining room where Konan was waiting for him. "So what's your problem with the seating?"

"I don't like sitting across from fucking Deidara," he told her with a pout.

"Right. It'll be change by lunch."

Hidan was glad it would be changed. That meant he wouldn't have to sit so close to the blond...right?