A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! QTFics, Clint left so he could work out what he supposed to do since he'd lost his powers, kinda like how Logan runs off all the time. Hervissa, this is the start of RoLo!
Clint kissed Tasha on the top of her head. They were officially dating again, to Clint's delight. Tasha was seven months pregnant and her bump was clearly showing. They were in Clint's room with Miguel. Even though Clint, Erik and Miguel had been there for three months Miguel still slept in Clint's room.
"Papa, when is Mama having de niños?" asked Miguel.
"February 12th. Excited?"
Natasha laughed. Three months ago she'd been pregnant with no partner unless you counted Steve which she didn't really. Now she was still pregnant but the love of her life was back with a small Mexican boy who had adopted her as his mother. There was a pounding at the door.
"Hawk! Ya late fer lessons!"
Clint muttered something and rushed off with Logan. Miguel giggled and walked down the stairs with Natasha.
"Mama, where will I sleep when de niños are here?"
"I don't know yet but I think you might be able to share with Peter, Bobby and Douglas."
Miguel's smile widened until it looked close to splitting. He'd been officially welcomed to the X-Mansion by being given godparents. Logan was his godfather as well as favourite uncle and Phil was his… godmother. Clint had jokingly stated that Logan would kill him if he called Logan a godmother and Phil was a fairy. Six different people had punched him at that point.
"Nat! What are you doing on Saturday?" asked Ororo.
Natasha rolled her eyes and walked off to grade some papers for her Russian class. Ororo smiled. Saturday was baby shower day. Unknown to Clint and Natasha the entire team had been on secret missions to buy baby gear. Ororo, Peter and Bobby had been stuck with the task of dragging Logan around baby stores.
On the Saturday the whole team gathered in the living room. Logan, Bobby and Peter had been given the task of dragging the three into the living room. They walked in to hear 'SURPRISE!' yelled out across the room. Natasha was quickly installed in the comfiest seat in the whole mansion.
"Presents!" cried Miguel happily as he began handing them to his parents.
Logan laughed and ruffled his godson's unruly black hair. Miguel had somehow got Clint's yellow eyes, despite not being a blood relation. He watched as Clint and Natasha opened dozens of toys, sleep suits, mobiles and more. They even got a car seat big enough for two.
"Can I babysit?" asked Bobby.
Clint replied, "Yes because we'll want to come home and find our kids frozen to ice. Whaddya reckon Miguel?"
"Si! Bobby is chulo!"
Clint rolled his eyes and Miguel laughed. Logan handed Miguel his present. It might be Christmas in a week but he was giving him something early. Miguel gasped when he saw the soft toy.
"What is it Miguel?"
"A hawk from Tío Logan!"
Clint looked up at him. "Thanks."
Logan shrugged. He wasn't about to bitch that it had taken him six fucking weeks to track down a fucking hawk he wasn't asking for a phoenix for fuck's sake! But he didn't. Instead he laughed and grinned at Ororo. She smiled back.
"Oh Roro, you shouldn't have got this." gasped Nat.
It was a beautiful Moses basket. Ororo smiled.
"There is going to be babies. I thought they deserved it. After all, they might look like Clint."
"Thanks for that." said Clint, deadpan.
"Not a problem." countered Ororo sweetly.
She could hear Logan laughing but didn't turn round. She might love the Canadian but the problems caused by Jean and Logan's flirtations were still there and Ororo wasn't going to add to them. The team was the most important thing. Miguel proudly showed her his hawk. Then they trooped upstairs to put the stuff in Clint's room. It had apparently been decided that Natasha would be moving into his room. Clint swore loudly when he saw the two twin cots stood in the room.
"Logan… thank you." was all he could manage without swearing again.
Logan shrugged again. "Wasn't just me. Bobcat and Tinman worked just as hard."
"Yeah? Well… thank you."
That night he paced in his room. He had to talk to Ororo; he had to convince her that he loved her. So he took a deep breath, opened his French window and stepped out onto his balcony. He jumped across the balconies and climbed up the walls. He didn't stop and think, knowing that if he did he'd probably let go and fall to the ground below which, healing factor or no healing factor, would hurt like hell. So he climbed up onto her balcony and knocked softly on the window. She appeared and walked over. Ororo swung the doors open and raised an eyebrow.
"Logan? What are you doing here? Did you think this was Jean's room?"
Yes it was unfair, yes it was cruel but if she didn't push him away she was going to admit how much she loved him and he would break her heart.
"No. I didn't. I knew it was ya room Ro, it smells a little of ya. Probably from all ya midnight flies."
She flushed slightly but let him in. He looked around, taking in how big her room was.
"Why don't I get a big room?"
Ororo laughed. "Because I have claustrophobia."
Logan nodded in understanding. "That's why ya were so freaked in the broom cupboard. I wondered but figured ya just didn't wanna be near me."
"Right on both counts." she snarled.
Ororo could remember every single detail about the broom cupboard with frightening accuracy. Ever since she'd started pushing Logan away she'd wondered what would have happened if she'd kissed him back that day. Logan flinched when she snarled at him.
"Why are you here Logan? I have to get some sleep so make it quick. Christmas is next week and if I am too tired then I will not be able to enjoy the day properly."
Logan growled, "I'll make quick then. I'd hate ta think I was disruptin' a goddess' life. After all, an animal doesn't really stand a chance with a goddess does it?!"
"What are you talking about?!"
"I'm talkin' about how much I love ya and ya a fuckin' goddess!"
Ororo was grateful her room was so far away from anyone else's. But she was not a goddess and being compared to one was not something she enjoyed.
"Logan, I am no goddess any more than you are an animal."
Logan replied, "So ya are a goddess."
"Ya a goddess if I'm an animal right? Well, I'm an animal so ya gotta be a goddess."
Ororo was blindsided by this.
"Logan you are not an animal."
"I'm the fuckin' Wolverine!"
"SO?!" she shouted back at him.
He turned his head away from her and she wished she'd never let him in.
"Go and find Jean Logan. We all know how much you love her. It is obvious."
Logan turned and she was startled to see the anger in his eyes.
"What did ya just say?" His voice was low and if Ororo had known any better she would have said it was dangerous.
"I said it is obvious you are in love with Jean so go and tell her this and leave me in peace!"
The next thing she knew, she was slammed against a wall. Logan's body was pinning her to the wall, his hands were pinning hers to her sides, his mouth was inches from her own and his eyes were dark and angry.
"Ya think I'm in love with Jeannie?"
Ororo laughed bitterly. Didn't he know how obvious he had been?!
"Yes. You fawn over her Logan. Anything she asks you do even though she and Scott were happy before you came here! Why did you have to break up a happy relationship?!"
"I don't love Jean." he snarled.
"Really?" asked Ororo doubtfully. "Because you have watched her ever since you came here. Your eyes are for Jean, Logan, and to deny that fact is pointless."
Logan rested his warm forehead against her cool one. For a second Ororo was desperate to cry out I love you! Love me! But she restrained herself with great difficulty.
"She ain't the one I've been watchin' darlin'."
Ororo frowned at him as he looked at her and she wondered if Logan could read her eyes like he could read so many others. She desperately hoped not.
"I didn't give a fuck 'bout Jean when I came here. It wasn't her I was interested in. But the person… goddess I was interested in had made it perfectly clear that any flirtin' was off-limits. I figured if I stuck around she'd like me a little more. Bein' her friend and never lettin' her know how I felt about her was better than flirtin' with her and losin' her friendship. The other thing that I couldn't bear was tellin' her how I felt and watchin' her disgust that a… an animal like me felt that way about her. That would kill me. So I flirted with her friend and tried to be the goddess' friend. Only I couldn't do it any longer. And it broke what's left o' my heart to hear that she thought I was in love with her friend."
Ororo wished she could believe him but to do so would set her up for more hurt than she thought she could bear.
"Logan… I wish I could believe but I cannot. You love Jean. Go to her."
Then what was left of Logan's patience vanished. He grabbed her face and brought up to meet his eyes but still she turned her eyes away. Logan wanted to shake her and kiss her senseless at the same time. More than anything he wanted her to believe him.
"Look at me." he whispered.
Her beautiful blue eyes darted around the room, looking at the bed, the bathroom, the window, anything but him. Logan could hear her heart beating wildly and it gave him a small surge of hope.
"I said look at me." he repeated.
Ororo shut her eyes like a child playing hide-and-seek. Logan fought the urge to kiss her. When Ororo did open her eyes they were focused on the bed in the middle of the room.
"Go away." she whispered softly.
Logan wanted to wrap his arms around her, promise that he'd protect and never let anything hurt her. But he couldn't however much he wanted to. He needed her to look at him though.
"Ro. Look at me." he said.
She stared away even though her face was facing him.
"Ro. Look. At. Me."
Eventually she dragged her cobalt eyes up to meet his dark ones. Logan could read a world of confusion, pain, hope and misery in them.
"Ro, please. What do I have ta do ta make ya believe me? I'll do anythin'."
Ororo wanted to tell him something but there was nothing. It was hard enough breathing when he was this close; it was close to impossible to think.
"Ro…" he murmured softly.
She wanted to whimper and curl up in his arms but that was vulnerable and Ororo didn't do vulnerable.
"Go away Logan. Please."
He didn't move. She supposed she hadn't expected him to move really. She didn't want him to either but that thought had to go away.
"Logan this is not fair."
Logan growled, "I'm tired of playin' fair. I have been doin' since ya walked into the professor's office when I first arrived here."
Ororo's wrists were hurting slightly from where Logan was holding them. Her whole body was screaming to be touched by him, to be caressed by him. She knew that made her sound like a teenaged girl but for once she didn't care.
"Logan… I can't do this. I just… I can't."
He whispered into her ear, "Ya can't trust me?"
Trying to ignore the sensations that he stirred up she replied, "No. You are you Logan. You are wild, untameable, honest, fierce… That is why I cannot trust you and why I love you."
Ororo realised her slip up too late. Logan's eyes glittered with suppressed rage. She'd called him wild and untameable, the very things he tried to convince himself he wasn't.
Ororo stopped, wondering if that was the extent of the response she was going to get when she deserved so much worse. She opened her mouth but Logan cut her off.
"Why the hell can't I get ya outta my head?! Ya hate my guts so normally I should be able ta put ya right outta my head. So why can't I?"
Ororo came up with a flippant answer. "I am unforgettable."
Logan growled softly, "Damn right. Only problem is… I love ya. I love ya so much that most o' the time I'm thinkin' bout ya."
He wanted to carry her to the bed and make love to her. The Wolverine was screaming for him to do that but Logan couldn't let himself. She'd fry him or slap him. Weirdly the slap would hurt more than the lightning bolt.
"No you do not. Why are you prolonging this agony?! Go back to your own room and leave me alone! Please Logan. If you love me do what I am asking you." She was pleading now and it was breaking Logan's heart.
"No. I love ya and I'm not leavin' this room 'til ya give me a good reason for givin' up."
Ororo struggled to think of reasons that he would accept. It definitely didn't help that she couldn't break his gaze.
"Logan… whatever I say you will reject. Is it not enough that I want you to leave me in peace?"
"No!" he snapped. "It fuckin' isn't enough because I know I'd look after ya, care fer ya, protect ya, and do whatever the hell ya wanted me to do. I'm sick of ya thinkin' ya not important, that ya don't deserve to be happy for whatever screwed reason. I'm gonna look after ya even if ya don't want me ta."
Ororo glared up at him but the glare was half-hearted. Ororo desperately wanted to believe Logan when he said he was going to look after her but she couldn't.
"Logan… I want to trust you so much. You have to believe me I do. But… the last boyfriend I had promised me the exact same thing and walked out on me. It would take me a long time to believe you."
She waited for Logan to backtrack quickly. Instead his dark eyes softened and any anger melted away.
"Ro, I don't care. I don't care if ya never fully trust me. I don't care. All I care about is makin' ya as happy as I can."
Ororo glanced down at her arms. He was still pinning them to her sides. His grip was strong and slightly painful but Ororo liked it. He followed her gaze.
"Shit! Ro I'm sorry!"
Logan moved his hands instantly, letting them fall to his sides. Dick. You say you're gonna make her happy, and then you bruise her wrists? Ororo reached her small hand up and stroked his face gently.
"It is alright Logan. It did not hurt."
Logan grabbed hold of her hand and kissed the palm gently. Then he kissed her wrist where he'd grabbed it. She smiled softly as he kissed the other one.
"Better?" he murmured.
Ororo whispered back, "Much."
Logan grinned. Damn he knew she loved him really. He kissed her on the lips. She moaned when he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Ororo wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and Logan was only too happy to oblige. They broke apart and Logan rested his forehead against hers.
"Oh Logan… we mustn't, we really mustn't… we shouldn't." she whispered, thinking of the problems that would be caused by their relationship.
Logan kissed her again. "Oh Ro, we must, we really must and we definitely should."
"What?" he asked softly.
"Scott hates you and the professor made it perfectly clear when you arrived that me and Jean were to keep well away from you."
Logan whispered, "And ya never disobeyed Chuck? Cos if ya haven't, now's the time ta start darlin'."
Ororo laughed and kissed him. Logan scooped her into his arms and slowly headed to the bed. He dropped her on it and straddled her. Wolverine wanted her desperately and Logan was battling to keep it under control. He suddenly smelt panic and… shame?
"Logan… I have never… I am a…."
Why is this so hard?! thought Ororo. I have to tell him. But what if he is angry?
"Virgin?" asked Logan softly.
She nodded and looked down. She didn't expect Logan to understand how embarrassed she was of this fact but if he tried to take it tonight she would banish him from her room forever.
"That's OK darlin'. I won't do anythin' ya don't want me to."
Then he slid off to land on the bed beside her. She nestled into him, enjoying his smell and warmth.
"Logan… I realise this may surprise you but… I would prefer if no-one else knew about us yet."
He said nothing, waiting for her to go on.
Ororo hastily tried to explain, "I just… I do not want to cause ructions in the team at the minute with the cure only just wearing off on many mutants and many from the Brotherhood will be angry and I do not want missions to be affected and…"
She was cut off by a kiss. Logan's hands were round her, holding her close to him.
"OK. I don't care who knows and who doesn't. And… I love ya."
Ororo looked up at him and he could see the doubt in her eyes. He'd say it a thousand times if he had to. Then her eyelids fluttered slightly. She forced them open and Logan bit back a smile.
"A little." she whispered.
Logan scooped her up again and slipped her under the covers. He kissed her again, gently.
She was already asleep by the time Logan had walked to the window.