This idea popped in my head a while ago, and I just wanted to write it down.
This takes place around the time of Team 7 trying to see Kakashi's face. ^.^ Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Sakura turned and waved back at the boys of Team 7. "Bye, guys! I'll see you later!" With those words said, the pink haired girl was out of sight.
Sasuke turned to leave as well but stopped when he felt Kakashi's hand on his shoulder.
"Sasuke, Naruto, why don't you two come with me?" It sounded more like a command than a question, in Sasuke's opinion.
"Where to, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked impatiently. Then, Naruto had a thought. Maybe Kaka-sensei has some super-cool mission for us! But, wait...why didn't he stop Sakura from leaving then? Shaking his head, Naruto harrumphed. Now, he was confused.
"Let's go to the training grounds." Kakashi said coolly.
Naruto frowned. Aw, man! That means no super cool mission! Wait…HE COULD BE SHOWING US A SUPER COOL NEW JUTSU! …Crap…that still doesn't explain why he didn't stop Sakura from leaving…guess I'll just have to wait until we get there…
On the walk to the training grounds, Kakashi pulled out his signature orange book to do a bit of light reading. Naruto started ranting about different types of ramen, and Sasuke began to get impatient.
He better not be wasting our time. Sasuke thought. I have better things to do than messing around.
Upon arrival at the training grounds, Kakashi advised Naruto and Sasuke to sit on the wooden stumps. And by advised, I mean he picked them up and put them there after they didn't do it themselves when he told them to sit down on the stumps the first time.
After much grumbling and glaring, Kakashi pulled his book out again and stood in front of the two genin. "Alright, I'll get to the point of why I brought you here. Has anyone told you two about the birds and the bees?"
Both young teens looked confused. Naruto, as usual, was the one who voiced his thoughts. "The what? What do birds and bees have anything to do with each other?"
Kakashi sighed. Just as he thought, his two male students have never been given "the talk". But, he couldn't blame them for not knowing the importance of this subject.
Naruto's only father-type figures were Iruka-sensei and himself. And Kakashi had a distinct feeling that Iruka wouldn't take the initiative to talk to Naruto unless Naruto started asking questions first. Sasuke's only father-type figure was, in fact, Kakashi.
Actually, the whole reason Kakashi even thought about talking to the two boys about puberty, growth, sex, and the like was because he feared for the young genin as the boys got older. Certainly, both of his male students would be quite the lookers once they grew past the awkward stages, and he feared that either one of them would be led into a back room by some good looking floozy, who would then take their virginity, leaving the boys startled, feeling good, but having no idea what just happened.
And, since Kakashi was their jonin sensei, someone who was supposed to teach life lessons to his students, he decided that educating his two male students about the birds and the bees was a role only he could fulfill.
"Maa, listen up you two, because I am only saying this once. The birds and the bees is a reference to procreation. Do you know what that is?"
Sasuke slightly blushed. He knew about the need to reproduce and have descendants. He also knew that the woman bore the child. What he didn't know was how the woman got the baby in her, how she conceived.
Naruto, on the other hand, was in total turmoil. "Procreation? What the heck is that?"
Kakashi lips pulled into a grin at Naruto's naivety. "Procreation is conceiving offspring." Naruto looked so puzzled that Kakashi continued with his explanation. "Conceiving means to get pregnant." Now, Naruto looked like he understood.
"Oh, yeah! When a woman has a baby in her. I get it!" Naruto shouted. Sasuke then called him an idiot, and thus the two began to argue. Kakashi sweat dropped and cleared his throat quite loudly. Sasuke and Naruto ceased their bickering and acknowledged their sensei.
"Let's move on. Do either of you know how a baby is conceived?" Neither student said a word. "Okay, apparently not. Let me tell you two how a baby comes to be..."
A/N: Please enjoy these words brought to you by the author!
Naruto and Sasuke are hearing about the joys of becoming a man. Visual aid is being provided by Jiraiya-sama's Icha Icha Paradise series. Unfortunately, no audio was available to aid Kakashi in educating his students. However, different positions and activities were able to be described in great, GREAT detail. Now that Kakashi has tainted...er...enlightened Naruto's and Sasuke's minds with puberty, sex, pregnancy, and birth; let's get back to the trio!
The look on Sasuke's face was one of disgust, and his left eyebrow was twitching. Women LET men do that to them? And they ENJOY IT? Yeah, sure, Sasuke can see why the men would get pleasure from the act, but they didn't have to deal with an entire human being coming out of…of something that small that was a part of their body! All they had to do was...donate the X or Y chromosome…and then deal with mood swings…and cravings…and loud crying from the baby and possibly the mother...ugh, maybe he should rethink this whole 'restore the clan' idea...
Naruto was, for lack of a better word, awestruck. That's why women have breasts! All for the baby. He always did wonder why men's boobs were so much smaller… There were a lot of differences between men and women now that Kaka-sensei explained some things. Like why Sakura would be extremely moody once a month because of those things called…periods? ...suddenly, Naruto was VERY glad that he was a boy. Women have all these problems they have to deal with after puberty and during pregnancy. All he had to do after puberty was plant the seed.
Kakashi assessed his two students. Sasuke was looking down, at the ground or at his little helper, Kakashi couldn't tell. But he did notice that Sasuke's eyebrow was still twitching. Naruto had a look on his face where it was as if something had just clicked. He was looking up at the sky with his lips slightly parted. Almost a look of wonder.
Kakashi grinned underneath his mask. He did indeed enlighten his students today. "No more questions?" Both boys shook their heads. "Yes, well, if any questions should arise, have no hesitation to ask me. Oh, and don't mention this or any questions in front of Sakura. Women tend to be touchier about this subject."
With a wave and a poof, the silver haired jonin was gone, leaving his two students to ponder his words as they headed home by themselves.
"What is it, dobe?"
"Kakashi-sensei never told us how to put a condom on."
*cue the ba-dun-tss noise after Naruto's last comment*
Heh, well I hope you guys enjoyed it! It was different for me to write, but it was fun, not to mention hilarious (from all the mental images XD) Poor boys…~