This is complete randomness and a product of plot-bunny hauntings. This idea kinda came to me and decided to stick around.

This was beta-d by Big Sister K. Thanks a lot. :)

Enjoy this pretty random one-shot

I hate my surname, I hate my surname, I hate my surname, I hate my surname!
It wasn't the most intellectual thought of the day, but at the moment it was the best he could manage. He cursed the person who invented the alphabet silently. Did the B really have to be second? Could it not have been somewhere nice in the middle? Around the R somewhere, perhaps.

R… B

The sad fact however was that the B was the second letter in the alphabet and now he would have to bare the consequences. He wished he wasn't so afraid of the test he was about to go through. He really hated being a coward, but did he not have a good reason to be?

When the hat began to sing he really wanted to run out the castle screaming. It was the way his darker would laugh at him which made him refrain from doing so. And the rest of the school, of course. In the end, it was not like he would be able to get away either.

It was however the song itself which made that Ryou wished himself several countries away from his homeland. Anywhere but here, please, he begged silently. Pretty please.

There is nothing hidden in your head

the Sorting Hat can't see.

There was a whole lot Ryou did not wish a hat to see, especially not one which claimed to be the smartest hat of all … Especially not if it could talk.

A stern-faced teacher who had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall stepped forward and said: "When I call your name you will sit on the stool and put on the hat to be sorted. Avalanch, Alice."

Naturally he would be next, he wasn't stupid. He might be a through and through coward, but he was not stupid at all. The alphabet had made it's decision, the chance that there was someone with a surname falling between AV and BA was close to zero. He would be next and he did not want to put the hat on his head. Somewhere in his panicked mind he wondered why he had hooked himself up on the alphabet, it could essentially not be blamed for any of it.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat called out and Ryou whimpered a bit as the girl jumped down from the stool and walked towards the Gryffindor table which was thundering with applause.

Ryou wondered why Bakura hadn't said anything yet, normally he would have been laughing at how scared Ryou was. Bakura always laughed at Ryou when he got the chance, there had been no exceptions yet, until this time that was. Was he afraid too?

"Bakura, Ryou", McGonagall said and the albino made his way towards the stool as slowly as he could without making it look too unnatural. He was praying to whoever would hear him that the hat would either not notice or just be quiet about it for the rest of its existence.

Eventually Ryou reached the chair and as slow as he could he lifted the hat and sat down. He waited a couple of seconds before he finally put the hat on his head and waited. He had his eyes closed shut as hard as he could and he kept praying.

When he heard the hat start talking he was afraid that the entire hall could hear it, but je soon realized that the voice could only be heard by him.

Loyal, yes and not afraid to work hard. You aren't the bravest and you struggle with some things, but you possess patience unmatched by most. Yes … I know what to do with you.

Then the hat stopped talking to Ryou, but instead of shouting out a house like it was supposed to it remained silent, at least to Ryou. Then Ryou heard the Tomb Robbers voice. /I am cunning and I always achieve my ends/, he growled. /I do not need a hat to tell me such foolishness!/

Ryou hated this more and more. To transform oneself into thin air would be the first thing he would demand to be taught by anyone with the capability to do so. He didn't really feel like listening to the complaints of Bakura, he was sure the hat had told his darker enough he wasn't pleased about.

Then the hats voice could be heard over the entire Great Hall. "HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN!"

No reaction came from the gathered people there to begin with. "Excuse me?" Professor McGonagall asked the had after a moment of silence.

"HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN!" the hat declared once more.

"Dear Sorting Hat", the Headmaster said carefully, "I don't believe that's possible."

"These boys belong in Hufflepuff and Slytherin. That's my final word", the hat said and with that went completely quiet.

"No", Ryou groaned silently and wished the hat would have covered his eyes too, like it did with most people. Naturally his hair wouldn't allow that. He opened his eyes carefully and was met by a couple hundred staring people.

He could hear them whisper. Boys? Surely there is only one? Do you understand any of this? What do we do now?

Yeah, Ryou Bakura really hated his B which had forced him to go through this so quickly, but most of all he hated the staring. He lifted the seemingly lifeless hat from his head and stood up. He put the hat on the ground and lifted the stool. Taking a number from Bakura's book he did the only thing he considered a solution.

He walked past the Hufflepuff table and for a moment everyone thought he was going to sit down at the Slytherin table. He did not. Instead he put the stool down between them two tables and sat down. He crossed his arms and covered his face with his hair. He would not be stared at, and he'd be damned if he'd answer any questions.

Well, having this little piece of randomness finished tell me what you think