Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Warning: This is an abuse story in the beginning, so if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff, don't read. A lot of these come from real experiences (though they've been switched to a boy's perspective) and may seem more real to some people. The first two chapters are rated MA; once we get past the abuse it will mellow out some.
Chapter One - In the Beginning.
The five year old blond boy looked up at the strangers with wary blue eyes. His parents had died when he was only six months old and he'd lived in the foster care system ever since. They'd deemed it necessary to keep him until he was of school age and now they were sending him away. He felt sad that even the people he'd grown up around were being taken away from him. The man that stood before him was a little older than most guys who would have a five year old child, his hair, having already gone prematurely white, emphasized that fact. His charcoal gray eyes seemed kind though and Naruto found he wasn't quite so scared anymore. He looked at the woman next to him. She still had bright blond hair and appeared to be much younger than her husband, though in reality she wasn't. Her golden brown eyes conveyed nothing but warmth. He clutched the stuffed bear he'd inheritted from his mother to his chest and approached them.
"Hello Naruto," the woman said sweetly. "My name is Tsunade and this is my husband Jiraiya. Would you like to come stay with us?" She was giving him such a heart warming smile that he felt his mouth quirk upwards in response. She took that as a yes and grabbed his hand. The nice man grabbed his bags. Everyone who worked there came to say goodbye to him and he tried bravely not to cry. When he got to the new house, which was huge, there were two other children there waiting to greet him. "Naruto, this is Suigetsu; he's twelve years old. And this is Kin; she's only one," she said, motioning to the little girl standing in front of Suigetsu with a silly grin on her face. "They're also foster children." The boy had such light blond hair that it appeared white in the right light, and crystal blue eyes. The girl had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Suigetsu smiled timidly at him. Naruto tried his best to return the gesture.
"Here, follow me," Jiraiya said happily and led the way to Naruto's new room. It was nice and spacious, with a television and a VCR* on a desk near the bunk beds. The closet was pretty large too, with doors that slid open and shut easily. The walls weren't completely bare; the other occupant of this room had decorated them with posters. Suigetsu walked in and said, "I usually sleep on the bottom bunk because I'm lazy, but I don't really care where I sleep, so you can pick which one you'd like."
"I can take the top bunk," Naruto murmured, speaking the first words he'd uttered that day. He was feeling quite shy right now, and he was practically strangling his bear, Oko**. Suigetsu grinned at him.
"Cool. Well, let's get you unpacked." He took the trash bags from Jiraiya and started hanging the clothes on hangers, letting Naruto help and lifting him so that he could reach to hang them. Naruto was unaware of the loving stares they were receiving as they worked together. By the time they were done, Jiraiya had cooked dinner. When Naruto asked why Tsunade didn't do the cooking Suigetsu had whispered conspiratorially, "Jiraiya is pretty much as good as a five star cook. Tsunade, on the other hand, can even manage to burn water on her bad days, though no one knows how." Naruto had giggled at that and gone to eat dinner. When they were done they all sat around a coffe table and played gin rummy, which Naruto picked up quickly. But even the happiness of that moment didn't stop the silent tears from coming in the darkest hours that night.
Naruto was starting to get used to being part of a real family. Even if none of the kids were blood related to Jiraiya and Tsunade, they were still treated as such. Suigetsu had told him at one point that Tsunade couldn't have children of her own, so she gave everything she had to give and more to the ones she was able to bring into her life. They went to the zoo, the park, even Disneyland and Sea World once. When the summer was over they enrolled him in kindergarten. He found that he made friends easily and his teacher adored him. Everything was going wonderful until the day that he showed up. Orochimaru. The man who looked at him with scary eyes. He didn't understand what that look meant, but he knew it was dangerous. He came to visit a few times, each time making Naruto tremble in fear when his creepy eyes landed on him. Then one day, while Suigetsu was still in school and Naruto was home because he only had a half day, Tsunade asked him if he could keep an eye on Naruto for her while she went shopping. Jiraiya was at work, and Kin was still in daycare for another hour; Tsunade would be bringing her home along with the groceries. Naruto was afraid to be left alone with him, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to make his new mommy angry. No sooner had the car pulled away than the scary man turned to look at him intently.
"Come here, little boy," he whispered in that hissing voice of his that reminded Naruto of a snake. Naruto walked on shaky legs over to the unusually pale man. Orochimaru picked him up and sat him on his lap, smelled his hair, breathed down his neck. Naruto trembled. The man started rubbing him down there and it took all that the boy had not to cry out. He could feel something hard beneath him and knew exactly what it was, having learned at the early age of three how everything worked and exactly what sex was. He heard himself whimper as the man's lips touched his shoulder. "That's all for now," he murmured, shifting beneath the terrified boy so that he rubbed against the blond's thighs. "However, next time I'll want you to do more. Okay?" Naruto didn't answer, wondering why the man thought there would be a next time after he told Tsunade, until, "You're such a pretty boy. I really do love you, you know?" And that was all it took. Naruto knew he'd never tell a soul. Finally, somebody loved him.
"Is everything packed guys? You brought enough for the whole weekend?" Tsunade asked for the hundredth time. Both boys nodded meekly.
"They have everything they need, Honey. Now, we need to get going. Orochimaru already made dinner plans for us," Jiraiya said in exasperation. Naruto felt both a twinge of fear and an intense feeling of dread. He hadn't seen Orochimaru since that day, and even though he'd never tell anyone, what he might want to do to him next scared him. When they got there they barely had time to say hi and drop their stuff off before they were all heading out to dinner. At least at a restaurant the man couldn't try anything. When they went back to his place and all settled down to watch a movie, Naruto drifted off to sleep. Surely he couldn't do anything while he was sleeping. Turns out it wasn't quite that simple.
Naruto awoke to someone shaking him gently. When he opened his eyes the sun blinded him, and he knew he'd slept through the night. But the hand over his mouth caught his attention and his eyes settled on Orochimaru as he tried to shush him. When he removed his hand he motioned for Naruto to follow and, fearing what would happen if he didn't, Naruto got up to follow. When they reached the bathroom he started sweating. What was he going to do to him now? It was still really early and no one was up besides the two of them. No one would ever know, especially if he didn't tell.
The man stood him on the toilet and kneeled on the floor in front of him before he pulled his pants down and started to touch him. Naruto closed his eyes and waited for it to be over, but unlike last time, this is not where it stopped. After he'd rubbed him long enough to satisfy his sadistic need the man took him into his mouth. Naruto wanted desperately to cry out in protest and began to wonder why he didn't until suddenly the man was pulling away from him. Orochimaru sighed and pulled his pants up. "Wait a minute to come out and then flush the toilet," he commanded quietly. Naruto was too thankful that it was over to argue. He heard the man speaking quite loudly after the door shut behind him. "Naruto's in the bathroom Tsunade. It seems we were out of toilet paper and I had to show him where it was. He should be out here in just a few minutes." Naruto shuddered at the feeling that coursed through him at the lie. He waited another minute and then flushed.
After he'd come out of the bathroom and everyone else had woken up and gathered in the living room, Orochimaru started handing out gifts. Naruto got a Blue's Clues handy dandy notebook. He wasn't sure how he felt about getting gifts from someone who was doing what he was doing to him. He thought again about telling, but as though he'd read his mind beforehand, Orochimaru had written "I love you" in his little notebook. He sighed. No. He most definitely was not going to tell.
The next time he saw Orochimaru was at his sixth birthday. It was October tenth, nearly halfway through the school year, and he had a neighbor and some of Tsunade's and Jiraiya's family members over. He hadn't had the courage to invite anyone from school. Orochimaru gave him a knowing look all throughout the party. He didn't want to have today ruined and he found himself holding it so that he didn't have to use the bathroom while he was here. Unfortunately, after several cups of cool aid, he couldn't hold it any longer. He tried to go as quickly as possible, but he was only just washing his hands as Orochimaru walked in. It had been too much to hope that someone at the party would notice a fully grown man following a little boy into the bathroom.
"Happy birthday Naruto." He pulled the boy's pants down and started to rub his backside. Naruto held his breath as his fingers spread his cheeks and got dangerously close to a place that other people weren't supposed to touch. He picked him up and set him on the counter, then started to use his mouth on his testicles. Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. He felt Orochimaru's hands gripping his thighs tightly and a low whimper escaped his throat. And then the man did something completely new. He kissed him, full on the mouth. "Always remember that I love you." And Naruto's heart sank at the reminder that he must never tell.
He tried to ignore the bruises on his legs that night as he tried to go to sleep.
The next day the six of them went on a camping trip. They fished, and sang songs and roasted marshmallows over the fire. Naruto barely slept a wink that night as he cowered close to Suigetsu's back in order to keep Orochimaru at bay. It was a great relief when everyone else woke up. He'd very narrowly escaped that one.
He didn't see Orochimaru again for a few months. By that time Suigetsu was thirteen and Kin had just turned two. He was having problems at his apartment complex and was going to be staying with them for a little while. Naruto shivered at the thought. Every night they would sit in the living room and make some of Naruto's favorite things: lists. The only problem was that Naruto was sitting on Orochimaru's erection the entire time, trying not to wiggle even when he was uncomfortable because the man really liked it when he did. Every night the snake-like man would offer to tuck him in, only to close the door and make Naruto clutch the sheets in desperation to be anywhere else but where he was. Jiraiya bought him his first kite ever and even that experience was ruined by the creepy man. No one had time to do it, so Orochimaru volunteered, holding the kite while Naruto ran in order to pick up the wind. Instead of having fun, Naruto found himself wishing he could just keep running and never look back.
After nearly a month of living with Orochimaru, the situation was due to escalate. Naruto woke up early as he always did. He was usually up before everyone else. He heard his stomach growl and got up to go get breakfast. When he went towards the kitchen however, he couldn't resist a cautious peak inside the room that Orochimaru was sharing with Suigetsu. Naruto had been given a room all to himself, inadvertantly making it easier for Orochimaru to get to him. Unfortunately, peaking in had been a mistake. Orochimaru was awake and saw him out of the corner of his eye. He waved his hand in a gesture that clearly meant "come here". Naruto sighed and made his way over.
Orochimaru lifted the blanket for him and he reluctantly crawled under. The man pushed him down onto his back and grabbed his hand, holding it down by his side. Naruto felt something wet and yanked his hand back out from under the covers. "What was that?" he asked, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice.
Orochimaru threw the blankets back and showed him. "It's my penis. Do you want to touch it?" Naruto stared at the hideous scabs all over it and saw the blood that was the source of the wetness he'd felt on his fingers. He knew with complete certainty that he in fact did not want to touch it. The choice was taken out of his hands as Orochimaru grabbed his much smaller hand and wrapped it around him. His fingers barely fit around the disgusting piece of flesh and that seemed to excite the older man. He started to move the boy's hand up and down and Naruto tried not to gag at all the blood he was touching. He wondered if Suigetsu, who was in the bunk above them, would wake up. Just as soon as the thought occured to him he found himself hoping with every fiber of his being that he didn't. If Suigetsu caught them then Orochimaru might start doing things to him too and Naruto didn't want that. Despite the fact that he didn't tell, he knew this was wrong. He didn't want anyone else to feel this kind of fear or self-loathing. There wasn't a time that this happened that he didn't feel extremely dirty afterwards. His hand suddenly felt even more wet and then he was free. The man was shuddering next to him and had released his hold on the boys hand. "You may go now," he whispered quietly.
Naruto left to go get breakfast and made sure to thoroughly wash his hand. He even scrubbed until his hand was raw just to make sure. He then climbed onto the counters and got a bowl and some cereal down as though nothing had happened. He poured his breakfast and waited for the safety that came with everyone waking up.
They were watching Naruto's favorite movie, The Lion King, and he was sitting on Orochimaru's lap as usual. However he noticed that the man was playing with Kin's hair and she was sitting way too close for comfort. He saw that look in his eyes as he looked interestedly at the tiny brunette. It was then that Naruto panicked. He saw Tsunade go to the bathroom and knew that Orochimaru hadn't seen. He squirmed as though in discomfort and said, "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Orochimaru removed his arm from around his waist to let him up and he walked as quickly as he possibly could without drawing suspicion. When he reached the bathroom door he walked in as though no one was in there and then shut it quickly and leaned against it. Tsnuade was startled and tried to cover herself with her shirt so that nothing was revealed.
"Naruto! What's wrong?" she asked worriedly as he tried to catch his breath. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest.
"Mom... I need to tell you something and you can't tell anyone. I just, I don't know what to do," he whimpered in distress.
"What is it, Sweetie?" she asked, instinctively lowering her voice to match his.
"Orochimaru... might hurt Kin. I'm scared that he will. He's looking at her the same way... the same way he looks at me before he... before he touches me..." He barely got the words out, but she understood. She was looking at him uncertainly.
"Touches you how?" she asked carefully.
"He puts his hand down there, and his mouth... and he makes me touch him... and he rubs himself on me... And I knew that it was wrong, but he told me he loved me and I couldn't tell so I didn't, but now he's looking at Kin and oh God he's going to touch her too! You've got to help me figure out what to do!" He felt the tears streaming down his face, but he didn't care. "You can't tell him I told you though. Please. He won't love me anymore if you do..." he whispered, his voice trailing away.
She was looking at him in horror and she shook her head slowly. "Go back to him and act like nothing's wrong. I'll come tell you that your Dad want's to talk to you guys. Suigetsu too. We'll figure this out together Naruto. Don't worry. You did the right thing by telling me." He nodded and left in a daze, sitting back on the man's lap automatically. Tsunade came to the doorway a few moments later with Suigetsu at her side, looking frightened. "Hey guys. Daddy want's to talk to you before you go to sleep. Come on. Tell Orochimaru goodnight and come along." Naruto did his best to act casual as he said goodnight and tried not to focus on the chaste kiss he placed on his lips before he left.
"Remember Naruto, you must never tell," he whispered in his ear just before he left and Naruto did his best to suppress a tremor. He knew Tsunade saw it though. She clutched them all tightly to her sides as they headed for her room.
"Mom? What's going on?" Suigetsu asked, scared.
"We'll talk about it later," she murmured distractedly. When they reached her room she locked the door behind her. "Jiraiya, Orochimaru has to get out. Now!"
Jiraiya was stunned. "Why on earth are you acting like this?"
"He is molesting my children!" she hissed.
"What!" Jiraiya roared and even though Naruto didn't know what the word meant he figured Tsunade had done exactly what he'd asked her not to do and told.
"Tell him what you told me Naruto," Tsunade said softly.
Naruto started sobbing uncontrolably. "You told, Mom. Now he's not going to love me anymore."
She hugged him tightly. "Shhhh. It's okay. Just tell your father what you told me, Love."
"He's going to touch Kin!" he wailed. "I wouldn't have told if I didn't think he was going to hurt her too! I couldn't let him..." he sobbed harder.
"Calm down son. Please tell me everything," Jiraiya murmured gently, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible.
"H-he touches me w-with h-his hands an-and his m-mouth and he m-m-makes me-e touch him, and h-he's looking at Kin th-the way h-he looks at m-me and I d-don't w-want it to ha-happen to h-her too!" At this point he collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Suigetsu. Has Orochimaru ever done anything to you?" Jiraiya asked a little more sharply than he should have.
"N-no! Never! I had no idea! I swear! If I'd known I definitely would have told you, honest!" He looked stunned. Kin was crying now too because of Naruto and Suigetsu picked her up to try and comfort her. Tsunade put them all in the bed next to theirs that Kin usually had all to herself. Then the two adults spent the next few hours calling everyone they possibly could. Naruto couldn't stop crying, he felt so disgusting. Now not only did Orochimaru not love him anymore, but everybody knew he was a bad, filthy little boy and he would probably be punished. When Tsunade left the room and then came back to tell Jiraiya that she'd kicked the other man out of the house, Naruto cried so hard he fell asleep.
*Yes, we still used VCRs when I was growing up. In fact, I think I didn't even know about DVD players until the Playstation 1 came out.
**Don't ask me where the name came from. I was around two when I made it up.