Peculiar Texts

or, the many texts of the Victorious gang.

Chapter 1 - Beck/Jade, set during Beck Falls for Tori

beck: hey babe

jade: what

beck: so loving

jade: i'll give you a kiss if you get to the point

beck: i'll take you up on that
beck: anyway
beck: would you be opposed to the idea of me in a dress

jade: are you trying to tell me something

beck: NO
beck: i just
beck: never mind you'll figure it out

jade: o...kay
jade: so am i allowed to come over now or

beck: can i take you up on that kiss offer

jade: yes

beck: then yes
beck: see you in ten


jade: oh my gosh BECK

beck: what?

jade: is this
jade: is this something to do with cat's new like dress up obsession

beck: what? no!

jade: are you CHEATING on me

beck: with cat
beck: jade you know i love cat as a friend but
beck: are you serious

jade: ...okay never mind but seriously beck what do you want me to think

beck: that i would look very handsome in a dress

jade: you have hair on your legs

beck: yes thank you capillary obvious

jade: you are WORSE THAN VEGA
jade: ugh why do i date you again

beck: because i bring rainbows and unicorns and sparkles into your bland and boring life

jade: ...right
jade: please you are as bland as wheat thins

beck: i LIKE wheat thins!

jade: that should tell you something

beck: yeah well
beck: you're as morbid as the boys' bathrooms at HA

jade: is that seriously the most morbid thing you can think of oliver
jade: WOW i need to educate you

beck: jade have you ever BEEN in the boys' bathrooms at HA

jade: yes but can we please not talk about it

beck: oh my - jade i forgot about that hahahaha THAT WAS HILARIOUS

jade: never speak of it

beck: the look on your face though


beck: okay fine calm down babe
beck: but seriously
beck: best thing ever

jade: i hate you

beck: you do not
beck: anyway you will find out about the whole dress ordeal soon enough
beck: and it is NOT AN OBSESSION

jade: and once again you bring up the dress thing
jade: i'm starting to think that i should be concerned

beck: shut up
beck: do you think my legs would look good in a dress

jade: no

beck: so loving babe

jade: look i do NOT want a boyfriend who looks better in a dress than I DO

beck: please babe no one looks better in a dress than you do

jade: so very true
jade: glad you've seen the light

beck: you are my light

jade: stop now before it gets worse

beck: it is the east, and jade is the sun

jade: good to see you know your shakespeare; now quote another, considerably less cliche line for me please

beck: ...i bite my thumb at you sir

jade: ugh why do i even tolerate you

beck: because i am the best thing ever no literally i am the bomb

jade: yeah cause you make things explode
jade: mainly me with anger

beck: rude

jade: yup
jade: so romeo

beck: let our lips do what hands do

jade: and how long did it take you to google that

beck: ...totally did NOT google that

jade: right i totally believe you
jade: then, do my lips have the sin that they have taken from yours?


jade: you kiss by the book.
jade: ok seriously this is getting freaky and also why are we texting when you're right in front of me like seriously what are we

beck: amazing
beck: but you know how romeo and juliet ends right

jade: don't we all

beck: thankfully beck and jade don't end that way

jade: we hope, at least

beck: JADE

jade: yeah calm yourself and come be a saint or w/ever

beck: way to make it sound appealing

jade: i do try


beck: jade
beck: jade you love me right

jade: um you could say that
jade: why?

beck: so even if i do something slightly ridiculous to help out a friend, you won't break up with me?

jade: um duh
jade: unless you're like swapping spit drops with alyssa vaughn because then bye bye oliver


jade: it was a joke you may want to reinstall your 'sense of humor' cartridge beckbot

beck: not funny jade

jade: please oliver i am hilarious
jade: i'm assuming this has something to do with your dressession

beck: what

jade: dress obsession i SHORTENED IT okay
jade: are you and shapiro and andre all going to wear dresses and do like that christmas dance from mean girls

beck: ...what this is just getting worse

jade: i think it'd be rather amusing

beck: the mere fact that you've pictured this before
beck: you amaze me sometimes

jade: yeah i am pretty amazing

beck: it's just... a favor

jade: oh my gosh does this have something to do with VEGA and her stupid movie issue problematic thing

beck: um i gotta go... eat doughnuts with um... my dog


beck: i say we are

jade: beck oliver get back here right now
jade: fine i'll be there in twenty


jade: oh my gosh beck
jade: you look ridiculous
jade: and yes i'm aware that you can't read this but that just makes it funnier
jade: you look like... i don't even KNOW this is the funniest thing ever and especially since everyone ACTUALLY BELIEVES that you are vega the gullibility of people it's amazing
jade: i really hate you for doing this for vega but at LEAST i have blackmail material

beck: jade please tell me you did not take pictures

jade: i did not take pictures... um

beck: please tell me you're not serious

jade: i'm serious and i sent them to cat so she'll probs post them
jade: but before you change i want a pic with you

beck: why

jade: HELLO i am your GIRLFRIEND and also i find it a bit

beck: don't finish that

jade: and also you've taken like five hundred thousand with tori-loser
jade: but seriously take a pic with me babe

beck: ugh fine but only cause i love you

jade: good to know


beck: can't believe you actually pushed tori off a ledge

jade: i warned you did i not
jade: prolonged exposure to tori makes me do these things
jade: and besides she's perfectly okay

beck: sometimes i literally don't understand why i'm so in love with you

jade: because, like i've said ten thousand billion times before, i am amazing
jade: i don't get how everyone ISN'T in love with me

beck: i'll have to second that one
beck: dinner tonight?

jade: you buying?

beck: as always

jade: then i suppose i'll show up

beck: see you there then


beck: you look gorgeous

jade: don't i always
jade: better than tori in her stupid dress or

beck: of course

jade: no wait let me rephrase that
jade: better than YOU in your stupid dress

beck: ...after careful consideration i'm going to have to say yes

jade: 'careful consideration'

beck: your snort was unnecessary

jade: your face is unnecessary

beck: this texting is unnecessary
beck: get over here

jade: yeah yeah i'll take my time


A/N: so i got this idea and couldn't let it go. i just love them okay.

other chapters will include all of the victorious cast, but this one was just bade-centric ;) please review for an update, and don't fave without reviewing!