or, the many texts of the Victorious gang.
Chapter 2 - In which Beck and Jade are secretly dating.
beck: jade jade jade jadeeeee
jade: oh my GOSH beck would you stop texting me
jade: tori is looking at me with suspicious eyes
beck: ...suspicious eyes
jade: yeah they're like black holes
jade: they'll suck you in and consume your soul
beck: hey that rhymed
jade: either stop texting me or tell me what was SO important that you felt the need to text me
beck: wanna go out later
jade: to where
beck: a place
jade: i knew that, idiot
beck: i just want to spend time with you
jade: yeah but if the idiot legion sees us then we're screwed
jade: you know what happens when THEY get involved in our relationship
beck: jade you do realize that tori fixed our relationship once
jade: oh so now you think i'm bitter
jade: i'll meet you tonight
jade: we'll go incognito
beck: idk what that means
jade: of course you don't
jade: and don't use acronyms; you look stupid
jade: not that you don't usually but moreso than normal
beck: you love my stupid face
beck: we'll debate it tonight over sushi balls
jade: you are SUCH a pedophile
beck: how do you even
jade: bye loser
tori: jade would you stop texting i'm trying to have a CONVERSATION with you
jade: oh is that what this is
jade: all i heard was the sound of nails screeching across a chalkboard
jade: hay is for horses
jade: funny though, since you look like one
jade: yeah that's my name
tori: who are you texting
jade: why do you care
tori: BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU
jade: no you're just typing furiously
jade: be careful; you might break that pretty little pink phone
tori: ...you are the most frustrating human alive
jade: you should really talk to beck more
jade: except really don't
tori: are you talking to beck
jade: ew no
tori: then why bring him up
jade: because he's an idiot obviously
jade: anyone who let this hot girl go is an idiot
jade: now excuse me i have to go vomit in my mouth
jade: because i can see your face
tori: do you think jades acting suspicious
andre: jade what no why is this a trick question ARE YOU PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS
andre: what was the question
tori: I WAS TRYING TO TALK TO JADE AND SHE KEPT TEXTING SOMEONE
andre: you know, i hear that tennis helps shake off all this pent-up anger
tori: ill hit you in the face with a tennis racket :(
andre: excuse me i think i have the wrong number
andre: sorry jade
tori: but andre seriously
tori: who would text jade
andre: i would
andre: aw c'mon half the school has been in love with her at some point; maybe she's got some hot piece of bread and is toasting him after school
tori: sometimes i wonder how you even come up with dis stuff
andre: i'm TRYING TO HELP YOU is that not what you wanted
tori: youre supposed to be a jadexpert
andre: who is jad
tori: I COMBINED JADE AND EXPERT STOP JUDGING ME
andre: funky chiz
tori: this has nothing to do with german sausages
andre: ...do we know that for sure
tori: OMG andre im going to text robbie
andre: have fun with that muchacha
robbie: hi tori?
tori: never do that again
robbie: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING HIM TORO
robbie: sorry that was rex
tori: has rex turned into sikowitz...
robbie: i think sikowitz is secretly rex's role model
tori: um okay
tori: do you think somethings up with jade
robbie: i dunno
robbie: she DOES seem less vicious than usual; she hasn't embarrassed me in front of the middle schoolers lately.
robbie: MIDDLE SCHOOLERS ARE VICIOUS!
tori: i was so very wrong 2 text you
robbie: you're probably right.
andre: beck my homeboy
beck: andre my pinata
beck: oh sorry i thought we were calling each other weird words...
andre: oh ok
beck: is something wrong
beck: sorry i meant is something wrong dawg
andre: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT
beck: sorry for asking...?
andre: DO YOU KNOW IF JADE HAS A BOYFRIEND
beck: how would i know
beck: she won't even talk to me
andre: SHE SAID IN HER BLOG POST THAT SHE CALLED YOU LAST NIGHT
beck: um whoops
andre: BECK OLIVER
andre: BECK FLUFFY HAIR OLIVER GET BACK HERE
andre: YOU'VE GOT SOME TALKIN TO DO
beck: did you know that andre is actually pretty smart
jade: ...what the HECK did you do beck oliver
beck: ooh full named, seems like i really messed up this time
jade: PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T TELL ANDRE ABOUT US
beck: babe calm down already i told andre nothing
beck: he kinda... he kinda guessed
jade: AND YOU CONFIRMED IT
jade: I HATE YOU WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
beck: he just thinks that you have a secret boyfriend
beck: and he thinks it's kinda suspicious that i lied about speaking to you
beck: that's all
jade: that's ALL?
jade: beck you might as well wave a sign in his face that reads 'jade and i are secretly dating'
beck: do they sell those in stores
jade: NO YOU IDIOT THIS IS NOT GOOD
beck: thanks i had no idea
beck: you know jade
beck: if i didn't know better i'd think you were ashamed to be dating me
jade: as if
jade: if anything it's the other way around huh
beck: babe why would i be ashamed to date you
beck: you're the most gorgeous girl in school and the most interesting
beck: in fact i'd shout it from the school rooftop if i had the chance
jade: do that and i'll drown you in the pond, 'sweetie'
beck: i'll take you down with me, 'honey'
jade: we are so messed up
beck: i love you
jade: good to know
jade: skip class w/me tomorrow?
jade: aw c'mon like you pay attention during class anyway
beck: ...i am a good guy ok
beck: janitor's closet?
cat: jade! :)
cat: tori told me something reallllly interesting, kinda like robbies new glasses or my brother's new pet seal... hehehe!
jade: what IS it?
cat: tori says that YOU have a secret boyfriend!
jade: and you believe her?
cat: well you HAVE been acting weird!
cat: you wont even take me to get ice cream anymore :'(((
jade: why does that emoticon have three mouths
cat: WHY DO YOU HAVE SECRET BOYFRIENDS? :(((
jade: i don't
jade: if i take you to get ice cream will you shut up
cat: YAY! I LOVE ICE CREAM :)
beck: that's me
tori: andre says youve been acting wonky
beck: please i'm the least wonky person in the world
tori: he says you & jade have been talking
beck: yeah we're friends, what's your point
tori: my point is are you dating jade
beck: that's not a point
beck: jade and i broke up, man, don't you remember?
tori: i'm not a man :(
beck: you're acting like cat
tori: omg i am not
tori: do you promise
beck: um sure of course
tori: works for me :)
beck: but um speaking of jade
beck: have you like talked to her lately or anything
tori: ...no, is something wrong
beck: of course not
beck: um bye
tori: YOURE RIGHT becks acting all wonkylike
tori: he sounds like robbie and robbie like
tori: robbie cant keep his wonk under control :/
andre: yeah yeah i know the feeling
andre: ooh that's a great song lyric
tori: WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR A MINUTE
andre: that too
tori: what do you think is up with beck!
andre: idk man maybe he's like bffs with ~jade~ and she told him about her secret boyfriend and he's jealous and chiz
tori: why does jade have ~s around her name
andre: IT MAKES HER LOOK ALL OMINOUS-LIKE
tori: how do i get myself into these situations
tori: ok anyway
tori: since when do beck & jade even get along, much less tell each other about their secret lovers
andre: y'know maybe i'm jade's secret lover
andre: i mean wouldn't that be the plot twist of the year
tori: yeah and maybe youre from mars :)
andre: maybe i am
andre: maybe i have a spaceship and i travel on the weekends
tori: yeah that would explain why youre always at my house wanting to watch movies
andre: ...the secret lover thing is still plausible
tori: yeah not really
andre: so can i come over now and watch a movie or
tori: fine get your butt over here :)
cat: robbie :)
robbie: cat, i'm in class
cat: IT'S IMPORTANT! :(
robbie: fine, what is it?
cat: sooo i was in class and then this one guy, this guy who likes to eat lollipops all the time during class, anyway he spilled something on the ground and like, we had to clean it up, so the
cat: sorry character limit :)
robbie: CAT, WHAT HAPPENED?
cat: don't be so impatient robbie :(
cat: anyway they sent me to the janitor's closet to get a mop - HEHE, that's a funny word - but i tried the door and it was like, locked :( and i SWEAR i heard somebody in there!
cat: im not crazy! :(
robbie: i know you're not, cutie
robbie: maybe it was jade and her secret lover!
cat: you really think so?
cat: i DID hear someone say 'same time tomorrow' so... :)
robbie: if this is jade and her 'secret lover' then we can catch them!
cat: exactly :) tell tori, then she'll tell andre :)
robbie: sounds fun. won't jade be angry?
cat: jade will be angry anyway! :)
robbie: so very true.
robbie: you know cat, you're actually really smart.
cat: awww that's cute! :) (i think. is it?)
robbie: ...i gotta go, cutie.
cat: aw okay! bye robbie! :)
robbie: so cat overheard people in the janitor's closet today.
tori: omg! and...?
robbie: jade wasn't in class.
tori: andre says beck wasnt either...
robbie: ...BECK wasn't in class?!
robbie: you don't think...
tori: im not saying anything
tori: BUT everything does look kinda suspicious...
robbie: she said they're meeting there at the same time tomorrow.
tori: SO we attack?
robbie: i can't skip class though!
tori: just say you have to go to the bathroom
tori: you always have to go to the bathroom :)
robbie: NOT TRUE!
tori: so true
jade: so a repeat of yesterday today, y/n?
beck: that would involve skipping class two days in a row
jade: your point being?
beck: i'll be there
andre: robbie where ARE YOU man
robbie: I'M SCARED.
andre: if you aren't out of that classroom in five minutes i'm coming down there and saying your mom is here to drop off your rash medicine
robbie: BE THERE IN A MINUTE.
tori: omg andre
tori: can you believe it?
andre: nah girl
andre: they were secretly dating behind our backs for all that time...
andre: dang they're good
tori: doubt i could pull it off that well lol
andre: me too
tori: HEY thats offensive
tori: anyway jade seemed rly upset
andre: yeah i saw
andre: i felt kinda bad for her
tori: idk what to do
andre: just text her
tori: do you want me to be deheaded
andre: the word is beheaded
andre: can i bbq it
andre: never mind
andre: if you're so concerned about it just text her muchacha
tori: yeah yeah whatever
tori: hey jade
tori: you seemed upset before is everything ok
jade: everything's just peachy, vega. is that what you wanted to hear?
tori: is something wrong with you & beck
jade: go. away.
tori: im sorry!
jade: don't be.
tori: hey um beck
tori: is something wrong with you and jade
beck: she's not even here now
tori: um can you like call her or something and make sure shes ok
tori: you know tell her you love her or something
beck: you're really weird
tori: ANDRE SAYS NORMALS BORING
beck: hey babe, i love you
jade: if this is the part where you get all cheesy, can i fastforward it
beck: but did you really think i'd let people's opinions come between us
jade: you did before
beck: dumbest decision i ever made
beck: want to come over?
beck: i miss you
jade: you saw me like, an hour ago
beck: your point being
jade: i hate you
beck: do not
beck: come over
jade: fine fine whatever
jade: love you too, freak.
cat: robbie the janitor's closet is LOCKED again! :(
robbie: ...don't try to open it, cat.
A/N: In part inspired by one of Laura's lovely blog posts on her blog badeontheslap. Kind of weird, but I did include more characters this time so.
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