Chapter 10: Burn
Star Date: 3021.9 Captain's Log, Personal and Supplemental.
We have dropped Wintour and Catesby off with the authorities at Star Base 4 and are enjoying a brief shore leave. This crew has performed admirably, I am very proud of them. It seems the Treaty of Daris is on hold for the moment, while Star Fleet continues to investigate Xindi claims that the Citha are engaging in genocide, destroying their hatcheries, wherever they are found. I know the Insectoids are very different from us, but the Citha's beliefs of ancient racial purity are hard to digest. Ironic, I'd say. The Insectoids are admittedly hideous creatures, yet according to Spock, who has been inside their minds, truly capable of great beauty and honor. The Citha are superficially attractive, yet harbor an ugly interior.
Spock has been released back to light duty. The Xindi inadvertently caused minor trauma to the structure of his brain. He still suffers from dizziness and a markedly asymmetrical gait. McCoy assures me this will pass. Otherwise, he is back to his usual efficient and sarcastic self.
I have always known that he is important to me, that he is almost an intrinsic part of me. Almost losing him, knowing he was hurt, perhaps even dying . . . well, I was frankly terrified. What is between us is unique and precious.
We have spent little time alone since meeting the Xindi. Somehow, we need to recreate our friendship. I trust him. I need to convey to him that trust goes both ways. He is part of me, my very soul. I would tell him anything. I hope he can learn to feel the same.
Jim laughed at himself as he shut off the con. It was such an undeniable, visceral relationship, of like minds, yet they were completely different. Spock would say his analysis was illogical. What is, is.
Jim's door chimed. "Come." He smiled even more broadly when he realized his visitor was Spock.
Spock stepped into the room and folded his hands behind his back as the door closed behind him. He looked at Jim, his face unreadable.
"So, my friend, what can I do for you?" Jim asked playfully. Spock remained silent, tilting his head, as if to analyze his illogical Captain better.
It was so . . . Spock. Jim had to laugh. Right on cue, Spock raised his eyebrow. Jim laughed harder.
Spock huffed and strode across the room. Nose to nose, he smiled slightly. Jim put his hands on Spock's shoulders and shook him slightly. Spock took a step back and ducked his head.
They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Spock was hardly the unreadable Vulcan now. Soft brown eyes watched Jim's expression. A gentle smile was on his lips. The tension that so often lined his face was gone. Jim could feel Spock's affection shyly pouring off him in waves.
"Spock, I am sorry. Sorry for what you went through, Bones told me. I am sorry that you had to take my place with the Xindi. Trust me. I am just, sorry." It was Jim's turn to lower his eyes.
Spock looked surprised; there was wonder in his eyes and pain. "Jim, I know humans feel the need to apologize but it is not necessary in this case. I was proud to stand in your sted. I was grateful I did not have to experience your pain. Perhaps that is selfish of me, but I cannot care. I would give almost anything to keep you safe." Spock's eyes dropped, embarrassed by his admission.
"No! Don't do that, Spock. Please!"
Spock licked his lips and tried to speak. His voice was harsh and rough, his eyes sad. "Jim, you mistake me. I cannot regret this. Only, I fear . . . I cannot help fearing this, how you make me feel. My friendship for you is precious. But I have no regrets. How could I?"
Jim stepped away and turned his back for a moment, hoping for some clarity. How can he make him see that he can be trusted, that he is valued and important to Jim and the Enterprise. It would take time. Spock's doubts and fears wouldn't disappear in a day or a week. He had the time to teach him to accept himself, and to accept Jim's friendship. He would make the time.
In the meantime, they had forty-eight more hours of shore leave. Time enough for a few more games of chess, a couple more meals, each moment an opportunity for Jim to build some bridges.
What Jim didn't understand, and Spock wouldn't tell, for many years at least, that Jim was family. Spock would always be amused by Jim's needless attempts at emotional intimacy. It always made Spock smile, internally at least. Jim had won that battle long ago. His brother, his friend.
My goal was to have an actual plot in this story that made some kind of sense and I learned a lot writing this. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
The two themes to this story were Jean Genet. Leonard Nimoy made two films of his plays, the Balcony and Deathwatch and supposedly was a favorite writer.
Second theme of course was Guy Fawkes. All the OC's names came from the history of the conspiracy and the titles came from the poem, below.
REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER
(Traditional English Rhyme - 17th Century)
Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament
Three score barrels of powder below
Poor old England to overthrow
By God's providence he was catched
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, holloa boys
God save the King!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
A penny loaf to feed ol' Pope
A farthing cheese to choke him
A pint of beer to rinse it down
A faggot of sticks to burn him
Burn him in a tub of tar
Burn him like a blazing star
Burn his body from his head
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!