10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

SEASON 2

SCENE 1

PATRICK and KAT are lying in bed after just making love for the first time together. They are facing each other and whispering tentatively.

KAT

Do me a favour, okay?

PATRICK

Okay.

KAT

Don't break my heart.

PATRICK

Can you do me a favour?

KAT leans in to listen but before PATRICK can answer the door slams open to reveal WALTER. The pair bolt up in shock, WALTER furrows his eyebrows and attempts to conceal his shock. He grits his teeth.

WALTER

I am not leaving.

PATRICK glances at KAT before slumping back on the bed, folding a pillow over his face.

WALTER

I would ask 'what is going on here?' but it looks like I don't have to, the picture sells itself. Do you have any idea what you are doing? You'll be pregnant before you know it with the child of a man-boy.

KAT

Dad. Leave. Now.

WALTER

I make the rules and give the orders here. Frankly this proves I need to be I thought you knew better than this Kat.

PATRICK sits up and attempts to speak

PATRICK

Just let us-

WALTER

Don't even think about defending what you've done here.

WALTER shuts the door sharply. He then re-enters the room seconds later.

Just checking this wasn't a nightmare and my daughter did have sex in my own family home. You have two minutes to get out of here before I call a cop. Move.

WALTER motions to PATRICK before shutting the door again.

KAT turns over and buries her head in the pillows. PATRICK places a hand on the back of her head and traces a line across her face. A minute or two passes.

WALTER

On second thoughts I've changed my mind. Out. Now.

PATRICK looks at WALTER wide eyed. You can clearly see he is trying not to say something cocky and bolt. He calmly puts on his jeans. He doesn't get as far as his shirt before KAT, who has been dressing most of this time stands between her father and PATRICK.

KAT

Can you just give us two minutes?

WALTER

No.

KAT

This is just ridiculous. You wont let me even explain. This wasn't a stupid teenage accident Dad. Just give us a minute and we'll come and explain.

WALTER pauses.

…One minute. And I am timing.

KAT

I know.

KAT pushes the door shut on WALTER before turning back to PATRICK who is suddenly right behind her. She jumps and looks up at him.

KAT

I thought you would have slipped out the window.

PATRICK

Hey, as much as I hate the fact that we have got to justify teenage sex to your father you are not the only one who played a part in this mess.

KAT

I wouldn't call it a mess. A predicament. That can be and will be solved. Once he sees that we are responsible, mature, young adults who are in a positive relationship he will-

PATRICK

Are you talking about that feeling that generic couples have?

KAT

No. I am not.

PATRICK

I am pretty sure you were.

KAT

I wasn't.

PATRICK

Right. Also, why are you wearing my shirt?

KAT

It was the quickest thing to put on. You can have it back?

KAT proceeds to pull the t-shirt up.

PATRICK grabs her hands.

PATRICK

Woah. Keep it. I can't go for seconds. At least not when your father might be breathing up the door.

KAT scoffs.

KAT

You don't realise that that is what he does.

PATRICK

Not suprising.

KAT who is still dressed in PATRICK's grey t-shirt and some jeans opens the door and they both go down stairs.

Meanwhile, BIANCA, CAMERON, and DAWN are still sat on the sofa watching the end of The Biggest Poser.

WALTER stands in front of PATRICK and KAT as they walk to the kitchen.

WALTER

Stop. Explain to me why you are not wearing a shirt young man.

PATRICK

Kat took it.

BIANCA turns round and comments.

BIANCA

Daddy, it's perfectly normal that Kat should want to wear the t-shirt of her motorbike driving, deep voiced man-

KAT

Shut it Bianca.

BIANCA

- actually I think it rather suits you Kat, perhaps we can have a look later for a cute little outfit of yours for Patrick. It'll be like reverse couples 101.

DAWN

Oh my god. I love that show.

BIANCA

And me. Did you see last week -

WALTER

Enough Bianca, would you go upstairs.

BIANCA, DAWN and CAMERON get up and begin to walk upstairs. BIANCA and DAWN are still talking faintly.

KAT

You realise they are going to sit at the top of the stairs and listen like spies. It'll be like the Soviet Union all over again.

PATRICK who is standing directly behind KAT places a hand on her shoulder, motioning for her to back down a little.

PATRICK

Look, Mr Stratford. Let's just get this over with.

WALTER

Yes, let's.

WALTER chuckles sarcastically before changing tone.

I don't know who you think you are but you are not to see my daughter and let alone, have sex with her, ever.

BIANCA shouts

You did what?

KAT

…I am not in the mood for this… Come on Patrick.

KAT pulls PATRICK by the arm towards the door. WALTER begins to shout at them again as the door swings shut behind them.

WALTER

Don't think this is over Kat, this will be dealt with.

KAT and PATRICK walk down the drive and to the path

PATRICK

So what now? Your Daddy's deflowered princess whose prince is not welcome in the family castle.

KAT scoffs

Bianca's his princess.

PATRICK

That makes you-

KAT

Some sort of woman in disguise, on the outside-

PATRICK

-A night watchman

KAT

And you are no prince.

PATRICK

I'm hurt, really.

PATRICK smiles

I guess that makes me some sort of villain.

They both get on PATRICK's motorbike.

KAT

I guess it does. Princes don't ride motorbikes.