I suppose it didn't really matter anymore. The past was the past for a reason. And tomorrow's the future because it holds surprises and the unknown, right? But what am I supposed to do with the present? Like Hell it didn't matter anymore. I'd been feeding myself that same line for weeks now. It was the same damn thing every fuckin' morning. I'd get up and go to school, doing everything like I always did, and then BAM! She waltzes in and I can't take my eyes off of her.
Don't get me wrong, she's no beauty queen or anything. It's not like I'm mesmerized by her flowing pink hair that she's got all done up in those cute braids. Or that fact that her slender frame looks like it'd fit perfectly with mine. It had nothing to do with that cute expression she always wore and her captivating smile. Pfft! She's just an ordinary looking girl.
What really gets me, though, is that look in her eyes. That far-off, yet kind of sad look she always seems to have. Sure her eyes'll shine for a moment when she's laughing or being distracted, but whenever her attention is somewhere else, I can see it. We've been in the same class for awhile now, and I've never really noticed her much until now, but she's wormed her stupid way into my stupid head and now my stupid thoughts are full of her stupid face-! Anyway, she's caught my eye, if ya couldn't tell.
Whenever she looks at me, she always gives me this weird smile. It almost looks like she knows something I don't, but that hardly matters when I see her eyes glisten like she's ready to cry. Like looking at me fills her with misery or something. What the Hell did I do, anyway? I can't seem to work up the nerve to talk to her about it, though. No, no, you retard, it's not because I have a thing for her, O.K.? I just get the feeling that if I ask her about it, she'll completely fall apart. I don't know how to handle that.
But I can't just let it go either. As much as I hate to admit it, this girl I've never talked to before is bothering the shit out of me. So I decided to go for the indirect approach. Well, I guess before I go into detail on that subject, I should also tell you about this other bastard in my class. His name is Shito Tachibana. God, even his name sounds as stuck-up as he is. I hadn't really talked to him either until a few weeks ago. He's been doing all this weird stuff, like saying "hi" to me and all that bullshit. Who the Hell does he think he is?
I really don't know much about him, but the guy just gets under my skin. I feel like I just wanna rip him apart, but I don't know why. He's never actually done or said anything to tick me off. At first I thought it was because he was some popular pretty boy, and him talking to me was like taking pity on me or something. Granted, I'm pretty studly myself, so it's not like he's competition or something, but he's still significantly more popular than I am. It never really mattered to me, though, because I still didn't have a problem attracting women. I haven't dated or anything, but I've had offers. I just never found a girl that was my type, I guess.
ANYWAY! So this jackass starts talking to me, and at first it was the casual small talk. I played it cool, gave him brief and vague answers, made it difficult to converse with me, but he still wouldn't back off. I got this feeling that he had an agenda and talking to me had something to do with it. So he pulls me aside one day and starts babbling on and on about that pinkette I was telling you about. The ordinary one.
He starts going off about how he knows that I've been eyeing her and that he feels something strange whenever he looks at her, too. He said she gives him a smile when she sees him and then there's that same glistening 'I'm-about-to-cry' look afterwards that pangs him with guilt. She's been throwing him through this big loop for the past couple of weeks just like what's been happening with me.
But then he has to go and make matters more complicated, and by complicated I mean that he tempted me to beat him half to death and get expelled from school and possibly sent to jail.
He said that whenever he saw me, an unsettling feeling sunk in. He was consumed with this overwhelming desire to punch me and then shoot me. I woulda punched him right then and there, but then he added in the part where he also felt like we were very close friends. Me? Friends with this fucker? Was he serious?
He said that he thinks something happened with him, myself, and that pink-haired girl, but he can't remember it. I scoffed and told him he was crazy. I started going off on him, getting all mad because of what he said and how he made me feel and all that, but he stayed calm and very serious. He told me to cut the crap and think about it. Three people that had never really had any contact with each other all start acting weird as of a few weeks ago when they see each other. Was that supposed to be a coincidence?
I blew him off and walked away, tired of hearing his stupid voice, but I couldn't let go of what he said. He was fuming and muttered something about me being a hopeless idiot, and for some strange reason, I felt like I had heard that before. Well, yeah, I had heard that phrase directed at me quite often, but it felt more like I was actually connected to him like he said. Before I got too far out of earshot, he yelled after me, "Her name is Michiru! Michiru Kita!"
That was right. Pinky's name was Michiru. I heard this little "Chiru-Chiru" sound over and over in my head. It was like some stupid pet name for her or something, but I didn't know of anyone who would call her that. She didn't seem to have any real friends, let alone be close enough with anyone to let them get away with calling her something as dumb as that. I was definitely over thinking it, though.
So back to my indirect approach method I was talking about earlier. You see, that Shito-shithead wouldn't leave me alone after that. It was like he was begging me to remember something that never happened. Of course, he wasn't actually begging me, but the way pestered me said it all. He wanted to know what was going on as much as I did. But I didn't really know what to do or say. We fought a lot, and it got physical sometime's, but for the strangest reason, it seemed perfectly normal.
So I eventually gave in to his stupid reasoning and told him that even if we were all involved somehow with something, that wouldn't one of us at least remember it? You would think, right? That's when he slapped me upside the head and called me a moron. He said that she was probably the one who remembered, seeing as how she was the only one to express an emotion besides confusion. Catching his drift, I agreed to get to the bottom of this. Unfortunately, I was still at a loss for how to do that. So we formulated a plot together.
So here's what happened: Shito and I were wandering the halls, waiting for Michiru to return. Shito kept scolding me for using her first name, saying that until this was straightened out, I should call her Kita-san. I told him there was no way in Hell I was going to go and do that. Part of me did it out of spite for him trying to tell me what to do, but another part of me was just uncomfortable saying that. Michiru seemed more natural to me.
So we waited for her to come running down the hallway like she had been doing for weeks now. Her so-called friends would always send her out to get their food and they'd make her pay for everything. They used her! Why that bothered me so much, to Hell if I know. I guess it bothered me more that she wouldn't stand up for herself than it did that she was being taken advantage of. I just got the feeling she was too nice for her own good.
So when we saw her, we tried to play it cool. I just-so-happened to be standing a little too much in her way and when she wasn't paying attention, I inched my foot out slightly. She tripped, of course, and her things went flying everywhere. She immediately sputtered out an apology and went to grab her stuff. Stupid Shito went and was pretending to be a gentleman. He handed got down on the floor and picked up a few of her snacks. She stood up, thanked him, and asked if I was hurt. I wasn't, obviously. But just when I was about to go in for the kill, I froze. Why in the Hell did I feel like this wasn't the first time we'd met like this? I was so dazed that I let her apologize once more and get away.
Shito was furious with my screw-up and started his long rant on how I was the biggest idiot he'd ever met. I retaliated the best I could, but I actually agreed with him this time. I should have asked her then and there what happened between the three of us. But I saw her eyes and I just couldn't speak. I didn't see the sadness that was normally present when she looked at me. Her eyes, they were so... full of hope. She looked truly happy for a moment.
But why did that stop me? That should have just been more of an indication that she knew something. I should have grabbed her wrist, or backed her into the wall, or... something! God, I hate it when that bastard is right! I was an idiot back there...
I think it was just being in that moment. It felt so familiar to me. It brought back a lot of emotions that I don't ever remember feeling, especially about her. It was like a tidal wave that crashed down on me, but it only lasted for a few seconds. The words "five hundred yen" kept coming to mind and I started reeling on my own feelings. At first, it was indifference, but then... there was obligation, fire, hope, protectiveness, sacrifice, laughter, happiness, fear, relief, and-! Was that seriously it? There's no way in Hell! No four-eyed gopher could-!
WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM? Why did I call her a gopher, gophers don't have four eyes! It didn't make any sense! Even if it did, why would someone as ordinary as her make me feel l... l... lo... lov... forget it! Forget her adorable pink hair with her cute braids! Forget her pretty face and captivating eyes! Forget her petite frame that makes you wanna hold her! Forget that gorgeous smile that makes you want to kiss her lips-!
THIS IS INSANITY!
THAT DAMN GOPHER! WHY'D SHE HAVE TO GO AND OWE ME FIVE HUNDRED YEN? WHY DID SHE HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL ALL OF THOSE THINGS? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THE FACT THAT WE MET AFTER SHITO AND I DIED AND THAT SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT US BEING ZOMBIES? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER HER SACRIFICING HERSELF TO SAVE HER FRIEND AND DYING ONLY FOR SHITO AND I TO EXTEND OUR CONTRACT WITH THE FERRYMAN TO SAVE HER? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS BUS IS ABOUT TO CRASH THE SAME WAY IT DID-!
"A/N: O.K. so this was more about Chika and Shito remembering everything that happened, rather than a Chichiru story, but I tried to throw it in there. The only reason he remembered anything is because he remembered how he felt about her. I was desperate to write something and my mind finally settled on Zombie-Loan. I just picked something and ran with it. But come on! None of you can tell me that you didn't want them all back together at the end of the manga! When the accident happened again, we were all dying to see if they'd find their way back to each other. Don't deny it! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this story. It feels good to write for this again. Review?"