She had been at his apartment since noon. The sun had sunk hours ago, any thought of her agent life almost completely gone. SHIELD has been especially slow lately, and Natasha found herself hanging around Steve more and more. There were moments where they would be in the hallway, passing by interns who would look at their entwined fingers. At other times when they were alone, Steve would be over her as she leaned against the wall, kissing her romantically. It had been a whirlwind of emotions, but in the end she always found a childlike happiness when she was with him.
It was her and him now. She often scolded herself for feeling this. Being an agent in love only led to the heart-shattering pain, but right now, it didn't matter.
She was laying on his bed, Steve over her, kissing her neck. His shirt had come off sometime in the process; her hands ran across his sculpted muscles as he felt her. She moaned as he kissed her jaw, wrapping her legs around his. "Steve," she whispered. He lifted his head to look at her, her eyes full of lovesickness and lust. She raised her eyebrows, fingers slipping down to the waistline of his pants.
"Not today." Steve sat up. "I'm sorry Nat, but not today."
She sat up as well, trying not to feel disappointed. "It's alright Steve."
"I'm just not sure if it's a good choice, considering who we are."
Natasha brushed some hair out of her face as Steve got off the bed, picking up the shirt on the floor. "I'm... I'm not sure if our relationship is right," she said softly.
Steve looked over at her suddenly, forgetting about the shirt he was about to put on. "Do you not like this?"
"I love it," she said, "but I'm an agent."
"So what?" he said, sitting down next to her. "I'm in just as much danger as you."
"But if anything happens to us, the other has to suffer. I don't want that." Tears started forming in her eyes. "I don't want you to suffer again."
Steve embraced her, holding her against him. He felt hot tears hit his skin as he played with her hair. "Natasha..." he started. Hesitating, he continued, "What if nothing happens to us?"
She was silent for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"What if we never were hurt? We lived our whole lives without anything happening to us?"
"But what if it wasn't?"
Natasha lifted her head, confusion on her face. Steve seemed uncertain of something, pausing considerably between statements. "I guess I'm trying to say... that... I want to spend my life with you."
Tears came back to her eyes. Shaking her head, she said, "Steve I-"
"I know you're going to refuse," he said, "but I just need to tell you."
She sniffed as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Steve, I- I want to do that too."
He looked at her, surprised. "What?"
"I fell in love with you, Steve. I'm stupid and I'm going to get hurt, but I want to be with you. I want to be with you for as long as I can have you."
Steve gave a sad smile as he hugged her again. "Natasha, I love you." He kissed her head. "I love you."
"I love you too Steve." She buried her head deeper into his shoulder. "I love you too."