A/N: Another new story, I know, what happened to all the rest? The point is, I've not written anything for ages, since I looked through some of my old stuff and realised how awful it is. I'm basically using this as a catalyst to get me back into my fanfictions. And to anyone reading Return of the Boosh, The Boosh is Loose, etc: I will update them as soon as I can. But for now, have a new story. I've got no idea where it's going, but we'll see. By the way, if you don't read Latin, which you probably don't, the title means: Life is lonely, art is perfect. But if you know I got it wrong, feel free to tell me how it should be translated and I'll change it. The main theme of this fic is inspired by my recent trip to Berlin, where we went and looked around an artist's squat and (in an occurence unrelated to this story) I breathed in some of what they were smoking and went a bit weird. So yeah. Sorry about the long A/N and Enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the Boosh, I'm not awesome enough.
By the way: first person POV again, since the last one I did seemed okay.
I threw the latest pile of overdue bills on the table in front of Naboo and scowled at him.
"Well?" I said.
"Well what?" he replied.
"Well, what are you going to do about them?"
"What is there to do?" he asked.
"Pay them, before we all get chucked out!"
"Fuck off, I ain't made o' money."
"Naboo, you should have paid the bills instead of spending all the cash on new turbans and weed!"
"Look, I'm a shaman. That's what I'm here for."
"Not right now, Naboo. You're the one in charge of money, you're the one who takes our contributions to the rent and spends them. Use them properly, and pay the bills, pay the rent, sort yourself out!" I shouted the last part a little too loudly and Bollo stood up, staring defensively at me.
"S'alright Bollo." Naboo said. "Leave 'im to it." I walked out of the kitchen into the bedroom, kicking aside the clothes strewn over the floor. Some were mine, where I'd thrown them the night before as I got changed. The rest were all Vince's, where he'd chucked them whilst looking for an outfit. I picked them all up, throwing mine into the wash basket. All the sparkly ones I folded neatly and put in a pile atop the chest of drawers. Vince was still asleep, halfway off the bed, arm dangling onto the floor. If he'd moved any further, he'd have fallen off. But I left him to it. He looked peaceful, which was more than he'd been the night before. He'd been tossing and turning for hours, waking me occasionally to talk for a few minutes. When he did finally drop off, he'd been twitching and mumbling like he was having nightmares. I picked up his arm and tucked it back up onto the bed, before leaving the room. I wanted to go for a walk, to clear my head after the outburst of anger. So I picked up my hat and my keys before walking out into the warm July morning.
The sun had disappeared behind a cloud for a few moments as I sat down on a bench by Regent's canal. I watched for a while as the boats passed by. I soon lost my concentration, though; I was too busy thinking about the unpaid bills sitting on the table. It was fairly unlikely that Naboo would pay them without being cajoled into it, but he wouldn't listen to me. He only listened to Vince or Bollo. He'd never been fond of me, but then, who could blame him? No one was ever that fond of me. As the sun came out again, I sighed and leant back on the bench, closing my eyes and letting it warm my face. But I knew I couldn't stay there all day; I had to talk to Vince, see if he could make Naboo see sense. So I stood up and walked back the way I had come, rattling the keys in my pocket.
I arrived back at the flat to see Naboo still sitting at the table, now reading the bills with a look of disgust on his face. Bollo sat beside him, opening the envelopes and shredding the addressed parts. At least they had some sense. I went through to the bedroom to find Vince standing in front of the wardrobe in his pants.
"Oh, sorry!" I said, walking out again.
"It's alright, Howard, I'm just lookin' for some clothes. You can come in."
"I'm fine; I'll wait until you're dressed." I waited in silence as I heard Vince clattering about. Ten minutes later, he shouted:
"I'm decent now!" I walked in as he was sitting on his bed zipping up his white boots.
"Morning." I said. "Sleep alright?"
"In the end, yeah. Had a nightmare or two, but it was fine. Thanks for not shouting at me when I kept talking to you."
"Well, what are friends for?"
"I dunno, but I reckon most o' mine wouldn't take kindly to being woken up at two am."
"Yeah. Listen, I wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Naboo hasn't paid the rent for god knows how long. He hasn't paid the bills either, and there's a pile of them on the table. He's just looking at them. I can't tell him that he needs to pay them, he won't listen. D'you think you could have a word?"
"If you like, yeah. I could try. I doubt he'll listen though. You know what he's like."
"Look, I'll give it a try. But don't blame me if he won't do it."
"Well, he's going to have to, otherwise we're all gonna get chucked out."
"True. I'll have a word with him in a bit. Don't worry about it, Howard. We'll sort it out."
"Will we though? Really?"
"I dunno. I was just tryin' to cheer you up."
"Oh. Well, thanks, little man."
"My pleasure." I sat next to him on the bed. He looked at me and lifted the corner of his mouth, like he couldn't manage a proper smile.
"Howard, if we do get chucked out, where are we gonna go?" He asked.
"I don't know. You should ask around your friends; I haven't got enough to be of any use."
"Mm. Maybe I'll ask Leroy. Or someone. Yeah, I'll give him a ring later. Just in case."
"Yeah. Just in case." I paused. "Do you want some breakfast?"
"Yeah, that'd be great." He smiled properly and we got up from the bed to go to the kitchen. Naboo still sat there, but got up as we walked in.
"C'mon, Bollo." He said. "We got a trip to make." Bollo grunted and followed him, stopping to high-five Vince.
"Where are you goin'?" Vince asked them.
"We're gonna visit the shamans. See if they can help us out a bit." He waved the pile of bills and went to get the magic carpet out of his wardrobe. I sighed and carried on to the kitchen, sitting down at the table and putting my head in my hands.
"What's up, Howard?" Vince asked.
"Naboo obviously doesn't have enough to pay everything, does he?"
"No, but that's why he's goin' to the shamans. They can help us!"
"Vince, the shamans are tight bastards. They aren't going to give us anything, not even on loan. We're fucked."
"Howard." He put a hand on my shoulder, and I sat up to tell him off, but he moved it. "Howard, don't worry so much. It makes you look old and it makes you ill. Everything'll be alright, you wait."
"I wish I agreed, Vince. I wish it would. I guess you should give Leroy a call after all."
Damn it, angst already. I don't want to make this story too heavy, so I'll try to hold off on that, but if it gets worse, I'll warn you. Don't expect too much humour though, not yet at least. Maybe when I get going. Anyway, I'll be off now. I'll try to update soon :)